We’ve all been there, we’re talking to someone and we don’t know where to take it, wondering how to keep it going and ran into awkward silence thereafter. Do you always end up with small talks? And then regret ‘I wish I could keep the conversation going’?
“I don’t know what to say.” “I don’t have anything to add to the conversation.” “I’m probably bothering them.” “My mind just goes blank.” “Nobody asked my opinion.”
I hear these statements a lot from my clients.
So I thought I’d share a tip for keeping a conversation going (which is arguably harder than starting a conversation–it’s so easy to let it trail off, like a car on empty rolling to a stop.)
Raise your hand if this has happened to you:
Your colleague: Good morning. How was your weekend? You: It was great. Both of you: [awkward silence]
I know you can’t see me, but my hand is up. Therefore, try this instead:
When you’re on the listening side of the conversation, listen for a “hook.” A hook is anything that piques your interest, reminds you of something else, elicits a question, or that you can relate to. You get the point. It can be any part of what’s being said–the bar is low.
Whatever part of that sentence your brain grabbed onto, you can toss it back with a related response:
Nice–are you the DIY-er or is your husband?
That’s cool–what did you work on?
Oh, nice–I’m thinking of doing some remodeling on my place but knowing where to start is always a challenge.
That’s excellent–do you see your dad often?
My dad’s place could use some work–he’s lived there for 40 years so you can imagine how full the basement is.
Great. Does your dad live locally or did you have to travel?
That’s awesome that you do it yourself–I put caulk around my tub several rental apartments ago, but that’s the end of my skills.
Whatever you toss back, offer a “hook.” Ask them a question or offer up something about you–what you think, do, feel, remember, or relate to.
Big asterisk: If you tend to be a question-asker, push yourself to talk about yourself a bit more. It’s common for those of us who are on the quiet or shy side to hold our lives close to the vest. We think we’ll annoy people by talking about ourselves, that we have to deliver a 100% relevant comment, or we just don’t know what to say.
But what ends up happening is we’re hard to get to know. We make people work for any information they get from us. And not everyone is willing to do that. In addition, we inadvertently send the message that we’re cold, distant, aloof, or simply don’t want to talk, when really it’s anxiety getting in the way.
Therefore, try out talking more about yourself. Telling your conversation partner about yourself fills in their picture of you with brighter colors, making you more familiar, more likable, and more trusted.
For example, here’s how you might offer a hook when you’re speaking:
Your colleague: How was your weekend? You: It was great. I…
(choose one:)
Took the kids fishing.
Made my annual pumpkin bread.
Finally finished this book I’ve been reading.
Took my dog to get groomed.
Went to the farmer’s market on Sunday and got some amazing apples.
Saw a parade of tuba players wearing tutus march by as I got my morning coffee on Saturday.
There. No matter what you picked, you gave them something to work with. They can expand on what you said, such as…
Oh really? Where do you go fishing around here?
My mother used to make the best pumpkin bread, but then she went paleo, to my chagrin.
What book?
I didn’t know you had a dog. What kind do you have?
There is a great farmer’s market just a couple blocks from my house–last time I was there they had Rubinette apples, which I had never heard of before.
Well, that’s a new one. I’ll have to try your coffee shop.
Then, listen for a hook in whatever they offered. It’s like tossing a ball back and forth. And just like tossing a ball back and forth, it gets easier the more you do it.
Now, if you offer a hook, is your conversation partner guaranteed to pick it up? No, they may just leave it there: “Oh.” Or, “Cool.” But that’s okay. As we toss the ball back and forth, sometimes it gets dropped. It’s not a big deal. We just pick it up and try again later, or, if you’re willing, try again right away.
Listening for and offering hooks might feel clunky and unnatural at first. It might feel like it moves too fast. But you don’t have to do it perfectly. And at some point you won’t have to think consciously about it–it’ll be second nature to riff on everything from dogs to apples to tutus.
Are you struggling with letting go of anger and resentment? The following article explains why it’s self-preservation to make peace with your past!
Are you still holding on to all the negative things that have happened in your past? If you are, then in order to be truly happy, you need to make peace with your past.
The moment you let all the pain go, and make peace with them, your life will start to change for the better.
The fact is we all have a past and no one was perfect. Some things were painful and so it makes good sense that we remember them for learning and survival.
This is how most of the animal kingdom works, we instinctively learn from experience. When we touch something hot and hurt ourselves we mentally log it and work to not do it again.
In this way remembering our past can shape our future very positively. The reality though is our past cannot perfectly predict our future and there are ways in which holding on to our past experiences can have a limiting effect on us.
Here is why letting go of trauma and healing the past is important.
1. Making Negative Generalizations From One-Off Or Very Specific Experiences Can Indicate You’re Unnecessarily Limiting Potentially Joyful Experiences.
Using grandiose words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ when talking about something can be a tell-tale sign you’re applying a too generalized rule to something. Look around and see if others are having a different, more positive experience of something that you have written off.
2. Just As Our Past Can Remind And Inform Our Thoughts Of Something Unpleasant Our Nervous System Can Also Be Reminded.
In fact, our body can react the same to the thought of an unpleasant stimulus as it can to an actual stimulus.
If something from your past is causing you to feel guilt, shame, regret, or anger regularly you are putting unnecessary stress on your body and keeping it in a prolonged tense state which is not good for your health or mindset.
3. Research Shows That Past Experiences Can Negatively Impact Our Future In A Variety Of Ways.
However if you have come to understand these experiences and make sense of them you are much less likely to suffer from them, recreate them, or re-experience them.
4. Holding On To Unpeaceful Elements Of Your Past Can Be Hard For Those Around You.
We all come with a past but if you’re projecting too much negative behavior onto a current partner, friend, boss, or co-worker it can be very damaging to the friendship or relationship and it’s less likely to blossom into something supportive.
You can check out Chanelle Sowden’s (Childhood Therapist) Instagram page here.
Now you know why it’s vital to make peace with your past. It’s just not about letting go, but healing your past trauma and past experiences so that it doesn’t ruin your future. Let us know your thoughts on how to make peace with your past in the comments below!
When it comes to dealing with your feelings, do you tend to ignore them or bottle them up? Or do you express your feelings very effortlessly?
The four primary emotions we authentically feel are Anger, Fear, Joy and Sadness.
As we grow up we learn that some feelings serve us better than others, and this is unique to our family circumstance and culture.
Perhaps time was limited for our mother and it was only when we expressed loud rage that we got the attention we needed. Maybe a family member was suffering from great sadness or depression and our joy was not encouraged in the house, in fact, often we were told to take it outside if we laughed too loudly or had noisy fun.
Sometimes people describe how they ”Never get angry’ with pride or that they can’t remember the last time they cried.
Working out which feelings were given attention or concern to in your family and which were frowned upon or ignored can explain the patterns you have developed. Your go-to, default emotions, and the ones you don’t feel comfortable identifying with.
Where the confusion lies
The problem is we’ve been given all four emotions for good reason. If you avoid a feeling how and where does that experience get processed?
One theory is that it comes out as another feeling that is more comfortable and accepted, for example, little girls discouraged from getting angry may choose to cry and receive support from their mothers through showing sadness, continuing this behavior of bursting into tears when they feel angry in adulthood.
Likewise, a little boy told not to cry may act in anger to get validated, and later on in life when his feelings are hurt he defaults to angrily lashing out.
The danger is that the ‘cover emotion’ doesn’t work effectively enough because it isn’t really what we need to express.
When we keep feeling a feeling over and over without it truly passing it maybe because it’s not the authentic feeling. No point shouting and swearing and everyone staying out of your way if you really need to have a good sob and be held. Equally no amount of crying and being comforted will expel the extra energy that comes with our anger.
Pay close attention to the feelings you’ve deemed ‘ok’ to feel and the ones that don’t seem as welcome. There are healthy ways to express ALL feelings and receive the support, reaction, or validation needed.
You can check out Chanelle Sowden’s (Childhood Therapist) Instagram page here.
Written By Chanelle Sowden
Originally Appeared In Chanelle Sowden
Bottling up your feelings, or trying to deal with them according to what others tell you, is the worst thing you can do for yourself. In order to understand yourself better, and also feel better, you need to face your feelings and deal with them head-on. Then only, will you be able to stop those emotions from controlling you, or having a negative impact on you.
If you want to know more about dealing with feelings, then check this video out below:
Dating an introverted man can be a little overwhelming, especially if you’re an extrovert. You both have sides that are totally unique to each other, but that’s why you’re attracted to each other, right? Understanding them is the primary thing if you really want to make your relationship last with an introverted guy.
“I’m dating an introverted man, how do I know if we have a future?”
A Reader Wonders Whether Her Long-Distance Relationship With An Introverted Man Has A Future.
“I just read your article: “3 Huge Tips All Extroverts MUST Know When Dating An Introvert” after reading and researching the extrovert introvert relationship topic for an exhausting amount of time. I thought I would reach out to see if you could give me some insight or thoughts on a situation I have found myself in.
I have never really focused or researched much about personality types – I have made the silly and naive assumptions of combining “extrovert and outgoing” and “introvert and shy.” Over New Year’s Eve, I went skiing with some friends where I met a guy.
Though I live in Texas and he lives in California, we’ve communicated daily since the meeting. We got together recently and last weekend we met up for a little weekend getaway (first time seeing each other since January). It was a great weekend, very smooth, intimate, not uneasy or awkward in any way.
He is an introvert. In some ways, I believe and feel he is an outgoing introvert – but definitely an introvert – he has even mentioned and talked about this to me. I like this about him, however, I have found myself wondering about how he feels about me or where he sees this going since we have not had a defining talk about that.
Over the past four months of us talking I have no reason to believe this isn’t something he wants to pursue. I have come to know his behavior of retreating into a cave when he stresses and I let him be but overall he has been very assuring in the sense of continuing to communicate (even if it’s only a few times throughout the day).
So my question and purpose for reaching out to you are… how do I know if this is something that he wants to continue to explore… long-distance is a huge factor. I have read countless articles all saying that introverted men are slow in their time and it takes patience for them to show how they feel….
I owe it to myself to know or feel whether or not he sees this going somewhere because I don’t want to wait around for something that he doesn’t see a possible future with. I suppose all I really want to find out is if there is some sort of a potential commitment?” -N. from Texas
First of all, N, let’s talk about personality types. If you haven’t yet, take a test and get clear on YOUR TYPE so that you can better understand yourself. Understanding who you are can help wire you for being happier and what you need in a partner.
I really like the free test over at 16 Personalities, an incredibly well-put-together website that will give you powerful results.
You can share the link with your introvert partner and ask him to take it too. This will allow you to learn more about each other, giving you each insight into how you tick, how you see life, and how you are likely to deal with the inevitable stresses life tosses at you.
I can tell you that understanding my partner’s type has been one of the best tools for a harmonious and happy home together.
Now Let’s Talk About The Differences Between Introverts And Extroverts.
Introverts do not own the market for being shy and extroverts are not the only outgoing folks. Both types have learned to deal with social situations and may come across as shy when they are actually extroverts or outgoing when they are just friendly introverts.
The first difference between introverts and extroverts is energy.
An introverted person gains energy by being alone (or in intimate, meaningful connections in one-on-one situations).
After being around groups of people– a party, at work, traveling– the introverted person feels drained and tired and needs to recharge his batteries with some quiet time.
So, after being around people and expending their energy, your introverted man needs sleep, to revert to his comfort zone, cave, or simply kick back and play his favorite video game or hobby alone.
An extroverted person gains energy being with others and having social interaction. Sure, extroverts need some quiet time and solid sleep, but going to a party or a noisy restaurant fuels their energy cells.
After coming home from being around lots of other people, they find themselves wired and it may take some time to chill.
This is why extroverts may seem more outgoing or are often guilty of interrupting others during a conversation.
Usually, when an extrovert does this, they are trying to get clear about what their opinion might actually be. The introvert doesn’t always understand this because when they decide to speak, they usually have already decided on how they feel about the topic that they’re discussing, and the point of saying anything is to share that thought with you.
That said, because men in general rarely love talking about their feelings when you’re dating an introverted man – he is even more likely to bide his time before telling you how he feels about you.
Introvert Or Extrovert, Though, No One Likes Feeling Pressured. Right?
The core of your question though isn’t just about being patient with dating an introverted man, it’s really about fear.
The fear of being rejected if he doesn’t feel the same. The fear that you would spend too much of your time on this guy if he really had no interest in a possible future.
We want to hold out for that certainty of, “I care about you and therefore want you to love me back.”
The best relationship advice I can give you if you are dating an introverted man is that you must take a leap of faith if you care about this guy. Because it’s better to begin building a future together thanks to a brave moment on your part than it is for him to just assume that you don’t have deeper feelings for him.
Sure, if he doesn’t feel the same, it will mean a little heartache now. But the longer you wait, the harder it will be to bring up the subject, and the greater the risk that he’ll hurt you if he doesn’t feel the same way.
That said, when you ask about the future, do it in a loving and open way. As I mentioned, no one likes to feel pressured to make a decision about a relationship that they aren’t ready to make.
Maybe the best place to ask is via email, saying something along the lines of “I had such a wonderful time when we were together, and I know the distance can be a challenge, but my gut tells me we have something special here.”
Then… be patient with his response.Remember that as an introverted man, he may need a little time to think about how he feels.
This does not mean he doesn’t feel the same about you, but give him the respect of no pressure and a way to reply back in his own way and time.
Good luck!
Are you ready to peel away the need for perfection, strip off the masks you’ve been hiding behind? It’s time to feel alive again. To be bold, feel sexy, and reclaim your confidence.
When it comes to introverts, certain, seemingly normal, daily experiences can make them feel overwhelmed, exhausted and stressed. Here are a few worst experiences for an introvert.
Introverts are different
Introverts experience life very differently from an extrovert. They often face difficulty in doing certain mundane activities and interactions that appear normal to most others. In fact a 2011 study found that introverts process social stimuli differently from extraverts. As they greatly enjoy being on their own and living in their personal space, an introvert often feels stressed out when that is disrupted. Although one-third to half the American population are introverts, they are still greatly misunderstood.
So today we are going to dig deep and share some of the worst experiences for introverts that make them stressed out.
Here 7 anxiety-inducing experiences that can make any introvert feel uncomfortable and stressed out:
1. Social gatherings with strangers
Although introverts are not popular for their love for parties, they do enjoy attending small gatherings with their friends and family. Unlike an extrovert who loves to meet new people, introverts prefer more personal and intimate social activities. So when they attend a party thinking it will be only close friends and find out that the party is full of strangers, they get rightly stressed out. Although introverts don’t hate people, they do hate small talk. That’s why being stuck in a social event with strangers is nothing short of a nightmare for them.
2. Asked to be friendly
There is a common misconception that introverts are shy. And this is why they are often so quiet. However, that’s far from the truth. Being shy and being introverted aren’t the same thing. Introverts simply prefer being alone over socializing. They like to think and reflect about their rich inner worlds and observe their environment. So when someone asks them why they are being so quiet or that they need to be more friendly, introverts find it rather offensive. It shows that introverts are not good enough as they are and they need to change to fit into this extraverted world.
3. Getting attention
Introverts prefer to avoid the spotlight. Although some introverts do love to get attention and be admired, most find it rather stressful when they are pushed into the spotlight without their consent or any notice. So when they are being praised or acknowledged publicly, an introvert will simply want to run away and avoid all the attention.
Introverts simply hate small talk. They find it superficial, meaningless and mostly false. They would rather engage in deep meaningful conversations with their partners or close friends than engage in small talk in a social setting. This is the reason why they often hide when they are stuck in gatherings or parties. However, when an extrovert fails to understand nonverbal cues of disinterest in small talk and forces them to talk, it becomes a terrible and stressful experience for them. They don’t like to be pushed to communicate or do things against their will.
5. Not getting enough alone time
Introverts love their personal space and enjoy their time alone. It allows them to recharge themselves and engage in deep introspection. Research shows that people who are introverted tend to have a lower threshold of sensitivity for the neurotransmitter dopamine. As it makes introverts more easily stimulated, they need a lot of downtime to get inner balance. However, when their extroverted friends and family embers encroach upon their alone time and force them to hangout, they get annoyed and frustrated. This is why extroverts need to understand the introvert’s need to recharge them by spending some time alone.
6. Coaxed to be more extroverted
Almost every introvert has an extroverted friend who makes it their life mission to make the introvert more outgoing and social. Many people misunderstand introversion as a character defect. But the truth is introversion is a healthy personality type and is not a personality disorder. There is nothing to ‘fix’ in an introvert. Forcing introverts to become extroverted is not a cure for introversion. When their loved ones fail to understand this, it becomes very disheartening and disappointing for introverts. Introverts should be accepted for who they are without feeling the need to change them.
7. Talking on the phone
Making or getting a phone call is hands down one of the worst experiences for any introvert. The phone can ring or buzz anytime it wants without considering if the introvert is lost in deep thoughts or just enjoying being themselves. The phone call is an intrusion to their privacy and it demands their attention immediately. Author Michaela Chung explains “The incessant bark of a telephone presents an inner debate for an introvert. To answer or not to answer? That is the question.” And this can lead to a lot of stress in them. But this is not why introverts hate talking on the phone. They hate it because there are no physical or visual cues. The lack of body language and facial expressions makes them avoid phone calls
Here are 16 other stressful and worst experiences that introverts have to face almost on a regular basis:
8. Networking with others for the sake of their career or interests feels like torture to introverts. Forcing a conversation with someone to sell themselves is agonizingly painful.
9. Keeping in touch with others, especially friends and family can feel exhausting despite how much they truly want to stay in contact with loved ones.
10. Seeking validation and admiration but hating attention can lead to a lot of anxiety. Although they enjoy being reassured, unnecessary praise makes them feel uncomfortable.
11. When they are enjoying their downtime but others intrude and interrupt them to engage in friendly chit chat without realizing the introvert is not interested.
12. Meeting new people and introducing themselves to a large group of strangers is a nightmare. Whether starting a new class or a new job, introductions and ice breaking sessions are a dreaded experience.
13. Going to any place where there is a huge gathering of crowds whether in the mall, movie theaters, concerts or a football game.
14. Having anxiety about being excited for an event and simultaneously being afraid of the crowd that will be present during the celebration.
15. Being ignored when talking as they are soft spoken or being spoken to continuously when they are trying to end a conversation.
16. Patiently waiting for family members or roommates to fall asleep so that they can finally have some privacy and spend time with their own thoughts. Downtime is crucial for introverts.
17. Sudden plans or surprise parties at the last minute that affect their entire schedule for the day. Not only do they need to alter their plans but also mentally prepare for the social interactions.
18. Meeting old friends or acquaintances in public places can be extremely difficult. Such casual and brief encounters demand small talk with people they know resulting in a superficial conversation they can’t avoid.
19. Being considered aloof, arrogant and snobbish, simply because they prefer their own company and tend to be quiet, leads to a lot of misunderstanding and damaged reputation.
20. As introverts need their downtime to recharge themselves, loud noises like slamming doors, sirens, people shouting and loud music can cause serious discomfort.
21. Public speaking is one of the most stressful experiences for an introvert. Talking in front of a large crowd and giving speeches of any kind can feel like a bad dream to introverts.
22. Being asked a question and having to answer that even though they precisely know the correct answer can make them feel highly anxious.
23. Being considered antisocial simply because they prefer their time alone. Introverts are selectively social, not anti-social.
Considering that introverts encounter anxiety-inducing events almost on a daily basis, there are certain strategies they can use to manage their stress and better cope with bad experiences in their lives. “There are many strategies that can help introverts to manage the stress that comes with living in a way that works best for them,” writes Elizabeth Scott, MS, author and wellness coach specializing in stress management.
Here are some stress management strategies suggested especially for introverts by Elizabeth:
1. Start meditating
Practicing meditation can be the perfect way to cope with stress for introverts as it is a quiet practice. Meditation, when practiced over a long period of time, can increase resilience to stress in introverts. Hence, they can stay more balanced and grounded even in stressful situations.
Starting with journaling is an excellent strategy for introverts to express their emotions and focus on the positive aspects of life. Gratitude journaling has several mental health benefits and can help introverts with stress management.
3. Develop a positive mindset
“Negative thoughts can increase your experience of stress,” writes Elizabeth. Thinking positively and being optimistic in life can help introverts look at challenges in a positive way. She adds “If you are an introvert, you can give yourself an advantage in stress management and in life by actively building your tendency toward optimism.”
4. Practice self-compassion
Introverts are often judged and misunderstood unfairly. This is why it is important that introverts embrace and accept who they are. Self compassion allows us to show ourselves the kindness we deserve. “Being gentle with yourself as well as with others, and building compassion with practices like the loving-kindness meditation can really help,” adds Elizabeth.
Life may be tough, but introverts are awesome
There are many advantages to being an introvert. Of course, they face a lot of struggles in everyday life that extroverts wouldn’t even notice, but they have more strengths than weaknesses.
The key is to balance it effectively so that they can be themselves and enjoy life on their terms in this extroverted world.
Emotionally Intelligent people never do these tricky things.
Emotional intelligence or EI is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you.
In life, emotions can be like the winds that blow us off track on the path to achieving whatever it is that we want to accomplish.
That is why, in my opinion, of all of the life skill that a person can possess, emotional intelligence is as important as mental intelligence when it comes to being successful.
That being said, emotional intelligence is tricky.
It is all about keeping your emotions in check, instead of letting them rule your life. You have to understand your emotions as a tool, and not as a burden. Again, this is all easier said than done, so here are
8 things to keep in mind that emotionally intelligent people don’t do.
1. THEIR EMOTIONAL BASE IS NOT EXTERNAL
One key to emotional intelligence is understanding that your feelings are not someone else’s fault. They are your own. You can’t expect people to always know how you will emotionally react to something, or for them to even care for that matter. An action by someone else may make you feel a way that they did not intend, so you have to realize that it is YOUR responsibility to handle the emotional response correctly.
2. THEY MAKE NO ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT HAPPINESS OR WHAT CREATES IT
The funny thing about happiness is that it is an infinite value. When we think about happiness, we relate it to experiences in our past, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t achieve a level of happiness greater than anything we’ve ever known. Therefore, emotionally intelligent people understand that moving forward and experiencing new things is the only way to achieve anything resembling “true” happiness.
3. THEY UNDERSTAND THAT FEAR IS A NORMAL EMOTION TO NEW THINGS
Fear, for the most part, in new experiences is totally normal. People are often way too quick to assume that just because something scares you that it is a bad thing. Being reckless and being fearless are two different things. Fear is just a way for your mind to make you consider what it is that is going on, so keep it in check.
4. THEY UNDERSTAND THAT AN EMOTIONS ARE REACTIONS, NOT REALITY
Understanding that how you feel is not the defining characteristic of a situation is probably the most important aspect of emotional intelligence. It is also the hardest to realize in the heat of the moment. Understanding that your emotions are what they are for a reason that is specific to you is important.
5. THEY DON’T ASSUME THAT A BAD FEELING LEADS TO A BAD LIFE
One very obvious sign of high emotional intelligence in understanding that we can’t all be happy all of the time. Just because you are having a bad day doesn’t mean that your life is falling apart. It means that a certain number of factors have conspired together to make you have a bad day. Happiness is a choice, but that doesn’t mean that we have to choose it every time.
6. THEY DON’T BEFRIEND EASILY
One of the most important things in life is who you choose to surround yourself with. Being aware of how other people make you feel and why it is critical to making good choices when it comes to friends. Again, much like all aspects of emotional intelligence, this isn’t something that happens overnight.
7. THEY DON’T ASSOCIATE COMPOSURE WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Just because you are emotionally intelligent, that doesn’t mean that you don’t occasionally lose it. We all do. Being emotionally intelligent doesn’t mean you are an emotionless robot. It just means that you know how you feel, why you feel that way, and deal with it accordingly.
8. THEY CHOOSE THEIR OWN THOUGHTS
Emotionally intelligent people are often seen as stubborn. This is because they own their thoughts and emotions equally, with a deep understanding of how others influence their emotions. It’s not as much stubborn as it is picky.
Do you talk with your hands? Hand gestures are an important part of communication and can greatly help you to drive your point home. Hand gestures are a second language that communicates, expresses, and emphasizes your message to your audience.
The value of hand gestures
Our body language, especially our gestures, can help to make our message more comprehensible and valuable, particularly when giving a presentation or speaking in public.
According to a Forbes article, research shows that speakers who utilize a variety of gestures are usually viewed in a “more favorable light” by the audience.
International keynote speaker and executive coach Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., writes “Studies have found that people who communicate through active gesturing tend to be evaluated as warm, agreeable and energetic, while those who remain still (or whose gestures seem mechanical or “wooden”) are seen as logical, cold, and analytical.”
In fact, the most successful business leaders and the best speakers know how to use hand gestures to be more influential and leave a lasting impact on their listeners. A recent study, which analyzed speakers of TED Talks, discovered that the most influential and effective speakers used 465 hand gestures on average.
National best-selling author Vanessa Van Edwards, who conducted the research, writes “In our human behavior research lab, we analyzed thousands of hours of TED talks and found one striking pattern: The most viral TED Talkers spoke with their words AND their hands.”
She adds “The least popular TED Talkers used an average of 272 hand gestures during the 18-minute talk. The most popular TED Talkers used an average of 465 hand gestures – that’s almost double!”
Entrepreneur Derek Halpren explains “Hand gestures can help you communicate better, when you talk to people when you give a presentation at work when you’re giving a speech.” According to a 2007 study, using gestures in social interactions can influence the thinking of the listeners. It was also found that gestures help to increase the effectiveness of the message by almost 60%.
Another 2005 study found using gestures while we speak can actually enhance our access to language. Researcher Dr. Elena Nicoladis believes that memory access & gesturing is strongly connected with language.
She says “What we think is going on here is that the very fact of moving your hands around helps you recall parts of the story–the gestures help you access memory and language so that you can tell more of the story.” She adds “If you’re in a situation where it’s important to get the language out and you’re having difficulty, it may help to start making gestures.”
A 2016 study by Seokmin Kang and Barbara Tversky found that gestures promote understanding. The analysis found that hand gestures are able to “map many meanings more directly than language.” It revealed that using gestures in accordance with meaning can improve learning and understanding to a great extent.
The study states “Before there were words, there were gestures, both ontogenetically and phylogenetically. Babies typically gesture before they speak.” The paper adds “Gestures can be more precise and show more nuances than words. Gestures are powerful tools for thinking and communicating because they both represent and resemble.”
An article published in the Huffington Post reports that gestures help us to convey our thoughts and emotions better, according to psychologists. Author and body language expert Dr. Carol Kinsey Goman, says “Hand gestures are really a powerful aspect of communication, from both the speaker’s and the listener’s end.”
The fact is our hand gestures empower us to express ourselves more intelligibly. Dr. Kinsey Goman adds “Gesture is really linked to speech, and gesturing while you talk can really power up your thinking. Gesturing can help people form clearer thoughts, speak in tighter sentences and use more declarative language.”
Broca’s area, a region in our brain, is responsible for regulating gestures. This area in the brain is connected to the production of speech and is also responsible for waving our hands. One study conducted in 2013 revealed that “gesture is a robust part of human communication and can be harnessed in a variety of ways. Our hands are with us at all times and we routinely use them for communication.”
Using hand gestures can certainly improve the effectiveness of your communication. But there are certain things you need to keep in mind –
Do not go overboard while using your hands to communicate. Your hands gestures should be confined from the top of your chest to the bottom of your waist, suggests best selling author Vanessa Van Edwards. Going out of this zone can be distracting for the listener and have adverse effects.
Make sure your gestures are expressive, instead of being stiff or out of control. Try to avoid the “Jazz Hands.”
Use your gestures meaningfully to drive your point home and to make your message clear.
Keep it natural. Do not try to overcompensate your words with your gestures. Your hand gestures should be smooth and must appear natural. It should complement your speech, not complicate it.
17 most effective hand gestures
Here are some of the most important and helpful hand gestures you should use while speaking. These gestures are widely used by successful entrepreneurs, leaders and the best speakers across the world. Take a look:
1. Listing numbers
When we use a hand gesture while counting or listing something, it helps to make the point clearer. Listing is perhaps the most common and easiest gesture. By doing the relevant gesture every time you talk about a number, you can structure the message. Moreover, it becomes easier for the listener to remember the numbers easily. It acts as a “nonverbal anchor” according to Vanessa Van Edwards of the Science Of People.
2. Money sign
This another basic gesture that is used across the globe to denote money or currency. When you rub the tip of your index finger and middle finger against your thumb repeatedly, it signifies that you’re talking about money. Entrepreneur, speaker and author John Rampton says that this gesture “can be used when talking about sales and is a symbol that everyone in a sales meeting is sure to understand.”
3. The backhand slap
This is another common yet important hand gesture that signifies that you are about to say something important. You simply slap the back of your dominant hand on the palm of the other hand. This gesture and the sound of the slap ask the listener to pay attention and listen up.
Vanessa Van Edwards says “This is a very strong gesture, so use it with caution. It is a ‘bottom line’ hand gesture or ‘listen here’ movement.” Entrepreneur Derek Halpren adds that the backhand slap “adds conviction when you lay down the facts.”
4. Fist Pump
This gesture signifies that you’re determined to achieve something. The fist pump is used to communicate success and signifies “strength, encouragement, and intensity,” explains Derek Halpren. However, Van Edwards warns “Be careful when using this gesture with an irritated voice, because it can come off as anger!”
5. Shelf sweep
This motion is used to convey that getting rid of a set of notions for some new ideas are important. Author John Rampton says, “This gesture requires the use of both hands and involves pushing aside the contents of an imaginary row of books in one direction.”
Best selling author Vanessa Van Edwards, who calls this gesture “everything” adds that although it can be “used to say you are wiping the slate clean or pushing something out of the way,” we can also use the “everything” to make a grand gesture “as if you are sweeping across all of the ideas to be inclusive.”
6. Pinched Thumb & Index
By pinching your thumb and index finger together, you gesture that you agree with someone. Derek Halpren explains “It says, “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.” Use this when you agree with the person you’re talking to.”
7. The Steeple
Using the steeple makes us appear wise, smart, calm and in control. It is a powerful gesture that you can do simply by lightly putting all the fingers together. However, it is important that we use this gesture carefully, says Derek. He adds “If you do this in a way that’s too obvious… it just looks like you’re trying too hard.”
Van Edwards says “I have found that when I use this gesture, it centers and calms me. I have not found any research to back this up, but when I do this it’s almost as if I feel more centered and have an easier time taking deep breaths.”
8. Pointing finger
Although it may be considered rude to point, it can be a rather useful hand gesture if you know how to use it. When you point at a particular thing while talking it helps your audience to understand your point better. However, you must use it with caution. John Rampton says pointing “often adds clarity and emphasis to what you are verbally communicating about that item as well as gets your audience to focus.”
Vanessa Van Edwards adds “you can point to get someone’s attention or to literally make a point.”
9. Open hands
When you gesture with open arms it depicts that you have complete knowledge about the topic you are speaking about. Moreover, it also shows that you are being honest and truthful about yourself. Derek Halpren believes that the open arms pose “communicates a sense of vulnerability” and honesty.
Van Edwards explains that “When you have both of your hands apart and palms facing towards the audience, it is a very Godlike pose. Use it when making a grand gesture.” However, she adds that “When your hands are at a 45-degree angle with the palms facing up, you are showing openness and honesty.”
We use this gesture when we want to compare ‘this’ with ‘that’. When you want to talk about two separate ideas or objects and show the contrast, then use your left hand to signify ‘this’ and use your right hand to denote ‘that’. Derek says “Just like counting, whenever you’re contrasting different ideas, use your hands to show it. This is a powerful persuasion technique.”
Vanessa Van Edwards explains “Whenever you want to separate two different ideas or things, you can use your hands to symbolically represent them. This is a great way to put distance between two things.”
11. Big idea
When you want to talk about concepts and ideas that are big or larger than life, then hand movements that are widespread and larger than the outline of your body can convey the message perfectly. However, it is best to use them sparingly. John Rampton explains “While this can be effective in creating credibility, it is best to use these conservatively because if it is all you ever do, you might get the opposite effect. In fact, people might think you are out of control rather than smart.”
12. Growth
Similar to communicating a big idea, talking about growth requires that you move your hands and gestures in an upward motion. This will denote rise, increase, and growth regarding the topic being spoken about. Van Edwards says “This can be used to indicate the expected growth, excitement, or direction where something is headed.”
13. Hands on Heart
This is a universal gesture used to show honesty, truthfulness, sincerity and trustworthiness. When you put your hand on your chest, right above your heart, it signifies that you are speaking from your heart. Entrepreneur Derek Halpren says “Touching your heart means: I’m sincere or I really mean it.”
14. Thumbs up or down
This is another universal sign which has become even more popular now thanks to social media. It is a common symbol, where thumbs up denote approval or agreement and thumbs down signify disapproval or disagreement. John Rampton explains “It is done through extending the thumb while the other fingers stay tucked into your hand. This hand gesture can be recognized all over the world for its meaning.”
15. The Karate Chop
This gesture looks exactly as it sounds. When you need to make a strong or precise point, you simply move the palm of your dominant hand vertically in a swift yet rigid motion indicating a slice. Van Edwards believes that this effective gesture can be “used to demonstrate a tough stance on a point.”
Derek adds “The Karate Chop should be your go-to move for your strongest points. As to say, ‘This is how it’s going to be – and not the other way’.’”
16. Stop
When you want someone to pause or stop talking, simply show your open palm with your arm extended. However, make sure you use this only when necessary as it can offend the other person. Vanessa Van Edwards says “You can do this while anyone is speaking and they will almost instantly be quiet. I was with a CEO once, and he had the habit of doing it to his employees when he was done listening. It was horribly offensive.”
However, Derek Halpren believes “It adds great impact to your communication when you want to say – No! Stop. Wait. Hold on. It’s an instant attention-grabber.” But, he warns “Don’t overuse it. You want to make sure what comes after is important.”
17. Everyone
This is one of the most powerful hand gestures that is widely used by leaders and speakers. Also known as the “we” gesture, it involves opening your arms in a motion that indicates you are wrapping your audience in an embracing hug. The move shows that you are including everyone present in the audience.
Van Edwards explains “This gesture can be used whenever you are speaking in a group or to an audience. You can also do this when standing next to someone and actually placing your hands behind them as if to indicate you are in my inner circle. It is a lovely “come together” gesture when used correctly.”
There you have it.
These are the 17 most important and best hand gestures used by successful leaders across the world. However, this is not a comprehensive list. Apart from the ones mentioned here, there are many other effective hand gestures you can use or maybe you are already using without even realizing it.
A word of caution
Before you start using these and other hand gestures to make your point to your audience, keep in mind that different gestures and body languages mean different things in different cultures. Although some hand gestures are universal, some of these gestures can carry completely different meanings in certain parts of the world.
Here are some other things you need to keep in mind, according to entrepreneur Derek Halpren:
Don’t point too aggressively as it can be demeaning to your audience
Never point or bring your hands near your groin area
Don’t do the same gesture repeatedly. Use a variety of hand gestures
If you are holding something in your hand while speaking or making a presentation, put it aside.
Do not use irrelevant gestures. Your body language and gestures must match what you’re saying.
Why should you use hand gestures
Did you know that gesturing is considered a “second language” that we use to communicate? According to the Huffington Post, motions of the hand can convey information that may not be delivered through speech. Author Annie Murphy Paul says “Research demonstrates that the movements we make with our hands when we talk constitute a kind of the second language, adding information that’s absent from our words. It’s learning’s secret code: Gesture reveals what we know. It reveals what we don’t know.”
When used effectively, hand gestures help you to draw the attention of the listeners. According to a study conducted by Spencer Kelly, associate professor of Psychology, Director of the Neuroscience Program, and co-director of the Center for Language and Brain at Colgate University, gestures and motion can make the listeners more focused and be more aware of the acoustics of speech.
The study, published by the Acoustical Society of America (ASA), points out that when your audience views a hand gesture, their “auditory system expects to also hear speech. But this is not what the researchers found in the case of manual actions on objects.”
Spencer Kelly says “Our results provide a glimpse into this past relationship by showing that gestures still have a tight and perhaps special coupling with the speech in present-day communication. In this way, gestures are not merely add-ons to language – they may actually be a fundamental part of it.”
Moreover, when we use hand gestures while talking, it allows us to communicate faster and more effectively. It also helps the listeners to remember what we have said.
By now, we have understood how crucial gestures are for making communication more effective and understandable. But how can using hand gestures make certain speakers more influential? Does this mean gestures can help to change people’s perceptions? Science says yes.
A 2014 study titled ‘How gesture works to change our minds’ by Susan Goldin-Meadow, found that “gestures we see others produce have the potential to change our thoughts.” Moreover, gestures, when used properly, can even help learners have a better learning experience. The paper states “Learners are more likely to profit from instruction when it is accompanied by gesture than when that same instruction is not accompanied by a gesture.”
But how can hand gestures influence the minds of the audience? Goldin-Meadow adds “Gestures are produced in space and could emerge from visuospatial thinking. Speakers are, in fact, likely to gesture when talking about things that are spatial or imageable and when conveying information that has been acquired visually as opposed to verbally.”
She concludes that “gesture promotes transfer of knowledge better than action, and suggests that the beneficial effects gesture has on learning may reside in the features that differentiate it from the action. They not only reflect thought, but they also have the potential to change thought in both listeners and speakers.”
Practice makes perfect
Now that you know which particular hand gestures can help you make your point and influence your audience the way you intend to, make sure you practice your gestures along with your speech.
Our words, along with our gestures and body language can say a lot about who we are. This can not only help to express ourselves effectively, but it can also impact how others perceive us. When we use smart, confident and positive gestures, people become more attentive and focused on hearing what we are saying. It makes us appear more confident, successful and influential.
How we talk determines how much people want to hear us. And your gestures can make a huge difference in the way you talk. But make sure you don’t go overboard with your gestures.
Deep thinkers are truly one of a kind. They think about all those things that others don’t spare a single thought to. Deep thinkers are always on the lookout for wisdom, which is why they are always trying to understand everything a little bit better, and deeper. When other people are always rushing to do everything they feel they should, deep thinkers prefer to slow down, observe, think, and then progress. All the distinctive traits that every deep thinker possesses, truly make them quirky, beautiful, unique, and oh-so-special!
Here Are 6 Traits Of A Genuine And Real Deep Thinker
1.They analyse everything.
One of the most defining traits of a deep thinker is their ability to analyze everything to its core. What others might deem unnecessary and irrelevant, deep thinkers will brood and think about it in great detail. You will often find them lost in their own world and thoughts.
They think profoundly about the past, present, and the future, and are always on the search for answers pertaining to this. Many times, you will notice them being nostalgic about the past and their past experiences, but at the same time, they try to prepare themselves for the future.
2. They are introverted to the core.
This trait is understandable because when you spend most of your time inside your mind, you will naturally prefer to keep to yourself the most. Most deep thinkers that you will come across are predominantly reserved, introverted, and private.
Impulsivity and being the center of attention are two traits you will never find in a deep thinker. They hate being in the limelight, and you will rarely see them making a fool out of themselves. When in a party or any other social surroundings, you will mostly find them in one corner of the room either playing with the pets or conversing with just one person, that too someone they know and are truly comfortable with!
One of the best and admirable traits of a deep thinker is their open-minded personality. Since they think deeply about every little thing, they seldom judge, assume, presume, or draw conclusions easily. They will always take into account all the aspects before coming to a conclusion, and most of the time their conclusions are highly inclusive and logical.
Deep thinkers do not believe in herd mentality, and always consciously choose to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. They believe that every story has several angles, and it is unfair to write off someone just because the majority are doing so.
4.They are empaths.
Deep thinkers are natural empaths, and will never hesitate to show their empathetic side to someone who is going through a hard time. They are extremely emotional human beings and amazing listeners who can stay awake and talk to you for the whole night, just to make you feel better.
A deep thinker has a huge heart, and they always try to be there for anyone who needs help, support and love. Even if they themselves are struggling, they will still try to support you to the best of their ability.
Deep thinkers have curious souls, and they are always looking for answers about why something is like this, and why not that. They are interested to know what makes everyone different. What makes everyone unique. Why one thing works and the other doesn’t. Science, history, literature, politics, anything and everything else – they are interested to know about it. For them, knowledge is their nectar.
Life for them is interesting and enthralling which is why they are rarely bored. They never need anyone else to make their life fun and fascinating; they know how to entertain themselves, and make the most of their life.
6.They can get scatter-brained sometimes.
Since a deep thinker is always ruminating about something or the other, they tend to get very forgetful sometimes. Their minds are always working overtime and are mostly chock-a-block with a hundred other thoughts. They might be thinking about something important, solving a problem, and trying to learn something, all at the same time.
So, in case they forget an important date, an anniversary or someone’s birthday, then don’t take it personally; it’s not that they don’t care or mean any malice. If you have a deep thinker in your life, then a little bit of patience, love, understanding and a few kind reminders will help you understand them better. In turn, they will also shower genuine love and affection on you.
A deep thinker can be a blessing in disguise if you understand them. It may take some time to grasp their personality and how they work, but once you do, you will see how beautiful they truly are, inside and out.
If you want to know more about the traits of deep thinkers, then check this video out below:
Empaths are unique as they can absorb someone’s emotions and feelings. As this creates certain challenges, an empath experiences life very differently.
Being an empath is difficult
Empaths are highly sensitive to others’ emotions which makes them exceptionally understanding, compassionate, and caring. Empaths have a superpower that allows them to easily sense and feel someone’s thoughts and emotions as their own feelings. This is why most highly sensitive people or HSPs identify themselves as an empath. However, life can be very different for an empath than others.
The heightened awareness and sensitivity of empaths enable them to actually experience the pain and suffering of others around them. As all this empathy can become highly overwhelming, an empath experiences high levels of stress, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, panic attacks, and other mental and emotional issues.
Empaths “are highly prone to anxiety, and are likely to struggle with digestive issues,” writes mental health advocate and counselor Wan Ting in a Medium article. She adds “They are often sensitive to the needs of others, but may not feel reciprocated. This often leads to feelings of being misunderstood and rejected… Empaths are likely to be more sensitive to the effects of substances, which can make them more prone to addictions.”
Balancing all the difficult emotions they experience from others can be very challenging and hence, they can often be easily misunderstood. Although being an empath is a gift, it can often make their lives very chaotic. With over 20% of the population being highly sensitive individuals and empaths, it is important that we gain a deeper understanding of how an empath lives life differently.
4 challenging empath experiences in life
Here are a few ways an empath experiences the world with a unique and different perspective and how they can make the most of it, as explained by bestselling author Shahida Arabi:
1. They are emotional detectives
An empath experiences energies and emotions easily. They can also pick up on subtle changes in body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. However, as they have been abused and shamed as children for being too sensitive, HSPs have learned to “fit in” by blocking their intuitive abilities.
As their childhood trauma may result in hypervigilance, “it can also lead to a tremendous amount of intuition into the human condition,” writes Shahida. Not only are they mostly writing about life experiences, they can also tell when people are lying.
She adds “Their ability to pick up on the emotions of others in a manner that is adept and nuanced is unparalleled. When the energy in a room is high and vibrant, empaths feel the full glory of it. On the other hand, when there are emotional vampires lurking about with their pathological envy and their unwarranted spite, empaths feel the full shock of that too.”
When empowered, an empath learns how to embrace their intuitive abilities and utilize them confidently, she explains.
They often attract toxic people and get stuck in unhealthy relationships that can lead to self-destructive behavior. Empaths often become victims of malignant narcissists who feed on their energy and empathy.
Shahida writes “Empaths can heighten the energy of those around them with the wealth of their emotional labor and ability to honor other perspectives. Narcissists see that special gift in empaths and they seek to curate and collect the resources of the empath which could further aid their agenda.”
Narcissists use empaths for their own benefit and healing. Toxic people know how to use an empath’s compassion to exploit them and not take responsibility for their own toxic behavior. This is why an empath experiences love and relationships differently than others.
It is only when an empath learns to put their own needs ahead of others, they can manage to break free of this toxicity and finally start to nourish and heal themselves with self-love and self-care.
Shahida writes that empowered empaths know “how to engage in radical self-care, with the full conviction that the more they learn to care for themselves, the more they’ll have to give to others.”
Empaths tend to act like an emotional sponge. They take in all the emotions, both negative and positive, of whoever they are interacting with, which ends up greatly influencing their own thoughts, emotions, and moods.
This is one of the reasons why Highly sensitive people tend to avoid large crowds. “Empaths can become indiscriminate emotional sponges if they’re not careful, absorbing negativity or toxic shame that isn’t theirs to carry,” Shahida explains.
Even if you do not say anything to an empath, they will still pick up on subtle emotional cues and instantly know what you are feeling and going through. Unless they learn to deal with others’ emotions, an empath will keep getting adversely affected by the negative emotions of others.
“From a spiritual perspective, empaths are natural healers and their birthright is healing. They come into this world to heal – to heal themselves and others – which can make them susceptible to toxic types looking to exploit their energy for their own agenda,” adds Shahida Arabi.
However, an empowered empath experiences this somewhat differently. Through grounding practices like meditation and mindfulness, they learn to manage negative energies coming from others. Moreover, different mind-body healing techniques like massage, yoga, and Reiki can help them to release the toxicity they absorb from others.
She adds “Empowered empaths benefit enormously from establishing healthy boundaries from the onset; they know what they will and will not tolerate.”
Although empaths may be compassionate natural healers, most tend to suffer from self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse to cope with their high levels of awareness, receptiveness, and sensitivity.
An empath experiences a wide range of emotions, whether of their own or from others. And this can make them feel highly exhausted and emotionally & physically drained.
Shahida writes “Their emotions are part of an intricate web of their own perceptions, the perceptions, reactions, and emotions of others around them, as well as their own emotions towards the way others feel.”
The intensity of residual energies from others and their own emotions can lead to self-destructive behavior if empaths don’t act cautiously and carefully. It is only by utilizing this intensity productively through healing, empaths can truly embrace their superpower. “Art therapy, journaling, exercise, and counseling are all excellent examples of ways in which empaths can express themselves and lift their energy without feeling drained,” she suggests.
Empaths and highly sensitive people need to realize that only when they nourish and heal themselves they can help others heal as well. They have to focus on their own needs and allow others to take care of them too.
Empaths are different. They are unique. And they are a gift to the world, just like each and every one of us. An empath experiences life and loves differently from others, but they feel the same emotions and pain that others feel.
Here is an interesting video that you may find interesting:
We all go through situations where our emotions were triggered at some point in our lives. But, our reactions to our emotional triggers are often excessive. Do your emotional triggers make you react negatively every time something undesirable or difficult happens? Are you tired of feeling like this?
Triggers make us human. They happen to us at work, in relationships, and in interactions with complete strangers.
A trigger is an unhealed emotional wound. The level of emotions you experience gives you insight into how long the trigger has gone suppressed.
It’s not that triggers are bad, they actually give us an opportunity to observe and reflect which enables us to heal. If this sounds simple, it’s because it is. At the same time, it’s so difficult to practice because we are having a subconscious reaction during an emotional trigger.
Our reaction is literally below our awareness, which is why if another person is involved it can leave them feeling completely confused.
In healing triggers, we change the way we perceive the world around us and our interactions with the people in it. If we can identify triggers and separate ourselves from emotional reactions, we gain insight.
How To Identify Triggers
1. Set an intention to see them.
In the morning in bed or (even better) during meditation set an intention to see and learn from your triggers. Say to yourself, “I want to be able to see my emotional triggers today so that I can become a better version of myself.”
Setting an intention begins to wire to the pathways of the brain to objectively view what you previously just reacted to.
Writing is incredibly powerful because our busy minds cannot always see and log patterns. Using a journal to write down the times you were triggered, how you felt, and how you reacted will give you valuable data.
As you write and read past reactions you’ll learn so much about things you couldn’t see before. Let’s say that someone makes a comment to you at work. You feel your blood boil and it throws your energy off for hours afterward. Taking 3-5 minutes to write down what happened as well as the thoughts and feelings you’re having each time something like this happens will help you for the next step.
3. Find the “why”.
We think other people are triggering us, but they’re just holding mirrors up to our triggers. For every emotional reaction, there is a root underlying cause. Usually, this comes from childhood or a past emotionally powerful moment. The more you observe instead of reacting the more insight you will receive. When you can understand why you react emotionally in different situations, you open yourself to choice in how you react.
Now that you have set an intention to identify and learn from your triggers, you’ll need to know how to get through them when they come up.
Emotions change the chemistry of both the brain and the body, so understand that this is a process that takes a lot of work. At the beginning of this practice you will feel completely overwhelmed, but each time you do this you have an emotional breakthrough.
Here’s How To Use Triggers For Growth:
1. Feel the emotion as energy.
Relabel what you are feeling as energy. Allow the energy to go through you. Try not to label it or react to it. Just acknowledge and breathe.
2. Practice observation.
We have been in a subconscious habit of reacting to our triggers. In the beginning, observing the trigger will feel almost impossible. Use your journal to write down what your feeling even if it doesn’t make sense.
Every time you observe your reaction acknowledge how difficult this was and assign a positive emotion to the experience.As you practice the pathways of the brain will change and you’ll be less inclined to go into habitual reaction.
3. Lock in your progress.
Use this affirmation as often as needed. Breathe and say this while connecting to the emotion of gratitude “I am grateful for this emotion and what it can teach me.”
Linking any thoughts with emotion helps to actually change you. It’s what manifestation is all about. Thoughts and feelings together are very powerful.
4. Be mindful of your new relationship to emotions.
With some presence and practice, you will begin to see how your ideas around emotions are shifting. You become lighter and more willing to have a different emotional experience.
Each time this is practiced you become more aware of your own behaviors, habits, and thoughts. Self-awareness will be your reward.
Allow yourself to process and move forward. Do not push yourself to observe and learn if you’re having a natural resistance to it. Be patient and use your intuition to let you know when to release.
Emotional triggers can sometimes be tough to deal with, but once you know what they are, you will be able to work on them. The key to inculcating positivity in your life is knowing how to handle your triggers and not letting them control you all the time.
If you want to know more about how you can use your triggers for personal growth, then check this video out below:
