“The Empath is often said to have such a great degree of empathy that they can literally feel what others feel, and thus intuitively know many of the yearnings, sensitivities, tastes and even thought patterns of the people they’re around.” ― Aletheia Luna, Old Souls
Empaths are the most sensitive ones among all. The term ‘empath’ is derived from the Greek words ‘em’ meaning ‘in’ and ‘pathos’ meaning ‘feeling.’
Hence, a person who can feel the feelings of others is called an empath.
An empath is characterized by the traits of understanding the universe around them.
Though many of us might claim to have the sense of empathy, very few are rather what we call authentic empaths.
It is but hard to notice when an empath is around.
They can sense positive and negative vibes in people. While talking to people, they will figure out their negative intentions even if they don’t spell it all.
The empath can easily track their thought processes without giving them a single inkling about it.
Since they are constantly getting affected by the energies of people around them, an empath gets drained easily. They are always busy helping out people.
Hence, their energy decreases. Also, negative energies pull an empath down. This is however not good for their psychological and physical well-being.
An empath gives too much to the world more than what they receive. At the end of the day, they feel completely exhausted.
(4) They pick up physical symptoms of another:
Not just psychologically, but physiologically too, an empath can feel the pain of others. They tend to catch pains like cold or body aches of the person.
(5) They imbibe emotions of other people in themselves:
An empath absorbs emotions of other people, be it pain, anger or fear. They feel exactly what others are feeling at that moment of time.
(6) They help friends as well as strangers:
If they feel someone needs help, the empath will immediately jump into it. They might know that person, they might not.
The empath always tries to help people irrespective of the relationship they share.
(7) They feel the nature:
An empath is drawn towards not just human beings but animals and plants too. They feel upset when a tree is cut or a pet is mistreated by the owner.
The empath takes steps to stop the living being from getting hurt. If they can’t do anything to help them, the empath will leave the scene because they can’t stand and tolerate their pain.
(8) They can’t tolerate violence:
An empath cannot stand violence even if it’s shown in a television series or a movie. They will close their eyes or leave. If it’s narrated in a book, they will cry.
(9) They can tell if the other person is lying:
It’s not that easy to fool an empath. They can easily catch a person lying. Even if they don’t express it in front of others, the empath will not trust that person themselves.
People who are sad are drawn towards an empath. It’s the empath’s caring and sympathetic nature which alleviates other’s pain. Not just friends but strangers too find it easy to open up to them.
(11) They find it difficult to stay in crowds:
Crowds affect an empath a lot. There are so many energies among the people of the crowd that the empath gets confused.
All these energies attack them from different directions leaving them baffled.
(12) They enjoy solitude:
The empath needs space for themselves to introspect on life. They enjoy spending their time alone. It also helps the empath to heal themselves and rejuvenate.
(13) The place where they live affects their psyche:
An empath gets affected by the energy of the place where they are living. Primarily they enjoy less crowded place surrounded by nature.
(14) They can sense the energy of the collective consciousness:
The empath can sense the energy of the collective consciousness. For example, they can feel the fatigue of Thursday even if they are not working themselves.
The empath can feel the joy of Christmas celebrations even if they are having a difficult time of their own.
(15) They don’t care about themselves:
The empath spends too much time helping others. They don’t pay heed to their own needs. The empath must realize that if they don’t take care of themselves, nobody else will.
If you found these traits in yourself, that means you are an empath. The empaths are extremely good souls.It’s okay to help others but one must know where to draw the line.
Human beings are nothing without their emotions. It affects our day and our mood in general. However there are times when we feel especially low and drained, and that shows that it’s time for some emotional healing.
“Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.” ― Danielle Bernock on Emotional Healing
These 5 Signs Say You Need Emotional Healing :
1) You feel depressed and anxious
Our lives have become so fast-paced that at times we lose touch with our reality and fail to connect with others. The feeling of failure and sadness consume us or the fear of the unknown grips us from within. It obstructs our daily routine.
We feel like giving up as nothing seems to be working out for us anymore. There seems to be no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel.
These problems need to be seeking help for as otherwise, it will keep on piling up, choking you. Take care of yourself, inside and out. It will help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, as long as it benefits you.
Your daily life seems to leave you emotionally exhausted. You don’t feel like doing anything. However, you cannot become numb to your surroundings.
You need to let yourself feel all that you go through otherwise it will be more detrimental to your mental health.
Try to respond to all that you face rather than just reacting. Responding gets you more invested in what happens to you.
It kick-starts the healing process. Reacting makes you tired and confused, you feel the mad rush within but feel lost.
You don’t know how to address this mess within. However, to take your time and carefully analyze the situation and then responding accordingly is a better approach to a happier self.
3) The difference between emotion and feelings blur
We need to closely understand the difference between feelings and emotions. Feelings include our emotions, our beliefs, and our ideas and so on: the thoughts that make us.
They affect our response to our surroundings and our opinions regarding things.
Sorting out this blur will help us to be clearer about ourselves. Embrace the good and positivity around you.
No matter how difficult, go ahead and make someone happy. Their happiness will flow through you and warm you up.
Do not harbour negative emotions as it will only worsen your emotional state. Emotions like fear and anger are harmful in the long run.
We should not let ourselves be controlled by them. Try and analyze the reasons that make you angry or scared and try to tackle them.
Observe yourself and channel that anger and fear into something productive. Try and let go of emotions that make you uncomfortable and affect you a lot.
It will do you no good to hold on to things that give you pain. It cannot happen instantaneously but baby steps will bring forth major changes.
Learn to love yourself. It might be hard but take the plunge. Go that extra mile.
Pamper yourself – take a solo trip, watch a movie, treat yourself to some delectable cakes and pastries, go out and party with your friends.
Do what your heart says. Don’t hold yourself back any longer.
Don’t let stress and pressure eat away your life. Free yourself from the negativity, be it horrible ex-partners, selfish friends, or ruthless bosses. Distance yourself from them, for your own sanity.
Never let others walk all over you and label you as weak for your kindness and generosity. You are brilliant. You are worth all the goodness. Let no one tell you otherwise.
Bid adieu to your past that haunts you still. Move on. There are bigger, brighter things waiting. You won’t get a feel of them if you don’t take that step forward.
The thought might be daunting but trust me; it will be an amazing experience. Spread your beautiful wings and fly to all the places you wish to be.
Related video:
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Are you in a dark place right now with apparently no way out? You might be experiencing the Dark Night Of The Soul!
What Is The Dark Night Of The Soul?
The concept of the “Dark Night of the Soul” stands to represent a period of intense internal struggle and existential crisis that can be experienced by individuals on a spiritual path.
It is a time of deep introspection and self-examination that often leads to profound transformation and spiritual growth.
The “Dark Night of the Soul” is a spiritual transformation phase that mystics may undergo before attaining enlightenment. In this phase, they experience a profound sense of despair and the loss of any form of comfort.
This phase may also happen to everyone at some point in their lives, and despite being a difficult experience, it is a true blessing.
During this time, life may seem to hit rock bottom with various challenges in personal, financial, mental, or physical aspects. Such experiences may lead to introspection and we may question why this is happening to us.
Although at first, it may be easy to blame others or feel abandoned by our spirit guides and guardian angels, we must understand that we need to undergo these experiences to grow spiritually.
We should surrender our ego and ourselves to the universe, allowing the cleansing to begin. According to Carl Jung, pain is a prerequisite to coming into consciousness.
Before incarnating, each one of us made a soul contract involving everyone who lead us to our “Dark Night of the Soul.” We made a pact to meet these people who will hurt us and help us to evolve through soul searching and spiritual progression.
Although it may not appear evident presently, it is highly probable that the individuals who have guided you to this juncture are members of your soul group.
On the spiritual realm, these individuals held immense affection for you and willingly offered to direct you towards the “Dark Night of the Soul” in case you deviated from your life’s mission, even if it meant they would no longer be present in your current life.
Spirit guides and guardian angels are always with us, and they guide us toward fulfilling our life’s purpose, which also involves experiencing the pain of the “Dark Night of the Soul.”
Despite the pain and sorrow, the “Dark Night of the Soul” leads to spiritual cleansing and a new perspective on life. We can lose our ego and connect with our spiritual essence, becoming more grateful, compassionate, and forgiving.
Ultimately we meet our authentic selves, learn our true potential, discover our soul’s purpose, and become able to pursue the goals that are best aligned with us. We find our life’s purpose and derive joy in living each moment.
It Is A Blessing In Disguise
It may feel terrifying to let go of old beliefs, but it is only through absolute surrender that we can move toward the new possibility that emerges.
The “Dark Night of the Soul” phase gives a sense of appreciation for all that is good in life, helps people realize what they need to be happy, and increases their transformation of consciousness.
During this time, individuals may feel a sense of isolation, disconnection from the divine, and a loss of purpose or direction in life.
They may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, and despair, and may question their beliefs and values.
However, it’s important to note that the “Dark Night of the Soul” is not necessarily a negative experience.
Rather, it is seen as an important and necessary part of the spiritual journey, a time when individuals are purged of their old patterns and ways of thinking, and are challenged to confront their deepest fears and insecurities.
Through this process of purging and self-examination, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your place in the world.
You can emerge from the experience with a renewed sense of direction, a new-found purpose, and a stronger connection to the divine.
It Is A Unique Journey
It’s worth noting that the “Dark Night of the Soul” is not unique to any one particular spiritual tradition or belief system. It is a universal experience that can be encountered by individuals of any faith or even those who do not identify with any particular faith.
Ultimately, the “Dark Night of the Soul” is a deeply personal and subjective experience, and each individual’s journey through it will be unique.
If You Are in a Dark Place Right Now…
It is a powerful reminder that growth and transformation often come through struggle and adversity and that even the darkest moments can be an opportunity for profound spiritual awakening.
To understand the Dark Night of the Soul meaning, it can be compared to the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly.
Before experiencing this dark period, you may have been limited in your abilities, like a slow-moving caterpillar confined to a small area.
However, going through the Dark Night of the Soul is like the process of the caterpillar spinning its cocoon, where it appears to be doing nothing on the outside, but is actually undergoing a profound transformation within.
When you emerge from this cocoon, you can transform into a beautiful and limitless butterfly. In order to undergo this spiritual transformation, it is important to release your ego and surrender to the universe.
Once you do this, you will soon find yourself soaring to new heights and exploring new horizons.
If someone is currently experiencing this phase, they should put their faith in the Creator’s hands, knowing they are being divinely guided toward their life purpose.
For more on this topic, do check out the below-given video.
Can an HSP and Narcissist relationship be stable or is it a negative rut? Below is more information about how an individual should avoid narcissists for their own wellbeing.
Two of the hottest psychological topics on the Internet right now address two personality types that are virtually on opposite ends of the behavioral spectrum: narcissism/psychopathy (or more specifically, NPD), and HSPs (highly sensitive people). I think there’s some significance to this.
HSP And Narcissist Relationship
For reasons no one seems to understand, Highly Sensitive People seem to be thrown together with Narcissists more than you would expect by chance alone.
Neither personality type is especially common:people with Malignant Narcissism (NPD) comprise approximately 4% of the population in the United States; HSPs comprise about 20% making them somewhat more common–though they may seem less common than they really are because they’re often hiding in the shadows and rarely call attention to themselves.
Many HSP persons have learned to stuff their sensitivity and emotions because (besides having been shamed for it), high sensitivity doesn’t work very well in the narcissistic and materialistic society we are currently living in–a society where qualities like aggression, social gregariousness, bluntness, impatience, and indifference to the suffering of others are far more valued than qualities like civility, deference, intuition, shyness, and empathy.
Aggression and gregariousness are especially valued in the worlds of business and politics. Face it, you’re not going to find a great job (or any job at all) if you call attention to the second group of qualities and may well be regarded as weak and ineffective.
Politicians who appear too empathetic, tolerant, gentle, or soft-spoken rarely win elections. That’s why liberals keep losing elections. It’s my observation that those with more liberal ideologies are usually better educated, but also by nature are more empathetic and care more about the plight of the less fortunate. Let’s face it: narcissism wins elections, and that’s why the country’s in such a huge mess.
But this isn’t about politics, and I don’t care what your ideology is. I don’t want to stereotype political ideologies based on personality because there are conservatives who are also sensitive and liberals who are anything but. I’m referring more to the people in powerful political positions, not the people who vote for them.
Highly Sensitive People have a number of characteristics that make them vulnerable, especially to people with NPD, and all too often HSPs find themselves either being raised by psychopaths or married or otherwise in serious relationships or friendships with them.
1. You were bullied in school; the bullying may have become a pattern throughout your entire schooling. Maybe even as an adult, people like to “mess with you” to see if they can get a rise out of you.
2. You had imaginary friends or spent a lot of time in “imaginary worlds” of your own making, or you were often accused of daydreaming by your teachers.
3. As a child and perhaps later into the life you cried easily and often. You may have been a “difficult” or sickly baby or toddler. HSPs do seem more prone to serious allergies and childhood illnesses more than other people.
4. You never were “popular” but prefer to have deep friendships with one or two like-minded people who may also be HSPs.
5. You dislike crowds and may not really like parties or other large social gatherings.
6. You’re a deep thinker and enjoy reading and studying about whatever interests you.
7. You may prefer to spend time alone with social activities.
8. The family is important to you, in so far as you have a workable relationship with your family.
9. You are very easily hurt and sometimes can’t let a cruel joke or comment roll off your back the way others can.
10. You dislike negative or chaotic environments because you feel like you can pick up on the negative emotions of others around you.
11. Your own family may not understand you, thinking of you as a black sheep or a failure. They may even reject or bully you if there are Narcs in your family who have chosen you as the family scapegoat.
12. You feel overwhelmed easily when you’re forced to deal with others, especially negative people.
13. You may feel you relate better to animals than to people and that they even understand you better than most people.
14. If bullied or scapegoated by Narcs, you may approach life with a hyper vigilance that may border on paranoia.
15. Because of your giving, empathetic nature, you find yourself attracted to those who abuse you or use you.
16. You put the needs of others before your own and may sabotage your own happiness or success in the process.
17. You get very upset when you hear or read news stories about children, animals, or adults who have been abused or killed.
18. You may have decided to stay away from reading or listening to the news because so much of it is negative and upsets you.
19. You may have reached the point where you feel no one can be trusted (but it’s in your nature to still want to trust others and give them the benefit of the doubt).
20. You are prone to deep depressions and feelings of despair (sometimes this manifests as irritability and grouchiness), sometimes these depressions are not explainable by any personal situation; you also have the ability to feel the heights of pure joy when you feel in balance with the world around you or with those who truly care for you and love you unconditionally.
21. You may be attracted to the performing or visual arts, or to poetry or creative writing. You may well have a talent in these endeavors. You also may have a strong interest in spiritual and metaphysical matters.
22. You may have intuition so strong it borders on psychic ability–you may be able to “read” the emotions of people you have never even met before, or even deduce what type of situation they are facing in their lives.
23. You may feel you can detect the presence of the supernatural.
24. You may feel strongly you do not fit in the world very well and that you have poor survival instincts.
25. Most importantly, when dealing with a narcissist, you may have the ability to hone in on their true nature, and see how horrifying it really is, both to the Narc and to others.
I want to extrapolate more on #25 because it’s at the core of why Narcissists (the natural bullies of the world) are so attracted to HSPs (the natural empaths) and why they so often wind up in their unholy psychological death dance together.
Narcissists have a love/hate relationship with the HSP.
What the narcissist sees in the HSP is a person who wants to trust, is easily manipulated (because they always like to give the benefit of the doubt), easily taken advantage of, and shows their hurt when wronged.They see a person who has insight into why other people tick and are self-aware and introspective.
More than other people, they can easily be coerced into blaming themselves if things go wrong because they can be shamed or embarrassed so easily. They are unlikely to attack the narcissist (at least at first) and they crave love and acceptance.
What the HSP sees in the Narcissist is a person who seems strong and in control of things; at first, this may make the HSP feel safe and validated when the Narcissist is love bombing them to woo them into a relationship.
Since Narcissists are usually quite aggressive when trying to rope in the HSP into commitment, making all sorts of promises to the HSP that sound wonderful at the time. Soon, the HSP falls in love with the Narc and the match from hell is conceived.
The dynamics in a family with an HSP child raised by a narcissistic parent are different because no love-bombing phase is required (except when the child is an adult and threatens to leave or go No Contact with the Narc parent).
Shortly after an HSP child is born, the Narc parent quickly realizes this child is vulnerable and can be used as their narcissistic supply to boost themselves up at the expense of that child. Often, the Narc parent will coerce other family members (often siblings of the HSP) to act as “flying monkeys” in the bullying of that child.
Unfortunately, such children are so sensitive they are often bullied at school as well, and the child may feel there is no safe place of their own. As a result, they may turn inward, creating imaginary friends or worlds in which they can escape. My mother hated it when I went inside my head into my imaginary worlds and punished me for acting “spooky.” I couldn’t help it though: it was the only “place” where she could not get to me.
Narcs hone in on high sensitivity and are both attracted to it and despise it. The vulnerability of an HSP and the Narc’s ability to bully them temporarily makes them feel better about themselves (the only way they can feel good about themselves is by putting others down because they know they have no “true self”–more on this later), but they also hate it and envy it, because it’s this very quality of high sensitivity and empathy they know they do not possess, and worse yet, they know it’s possible the HSP could one day use that quality to expose the narcissist.
Narcissists do not feel anxiety the way most people do, but the prospect of being “outed” one day for the monsters they actually are behind their mask of normality and sanity is incredibly terrifying to them.
But why is the psychopathic narcissist living in such terror of being exposed? After all, they think they’re better than everyone else, so why would it bother them?
The answer is horrifying. If they are exposed or “outed,” they are forced to look into the mirror–and what looks back at them in that mirror is not a monster, not an ideal self, not a demon, but something worse: a black, endless void of nothingness.
There is nothing there, under the mask they wear. In effect, the masks they wear are what they have become because inside they don’t exist. And yes they are evil. Evil isn’t bad; it isn’t the opposite of good.
Evil is the opposite of somethings; evil is pure black nothingness. In their desperate attempts to fill the void, they take on superficial behaviors and attitudes they think they “should” show the world–but they are fake. There is no real self there. Ergo, everything they think they are, and everything they say is a lie. They are the People of the lie.
Are Narcissists born that way, were they made that way, or did they choose their path?
I don’t believe psychopathic narcissists were born this way. I don’t believe in “bad seeds,” like the demon child Damien in “The Omen.” In fact, I think all children start out as blank slates with the potential to become good (or bad).
I think Narcs often have abusive or neglectful parents who fail to mirror the child in a positive way when they are very young, and as a result, not being able to mirror the parent in return, they don’t develop a true self and spend their lives trying to mirror the people they come in contact with and HSPs make this mirroring easier for them.
Unfortunately, by this point, it’s far too late for them to internalize the mirroring of the other person, and so it never infiltrates beyond the surface.
This explains why the Narc will act like they are the most understanding and caring person in the world when the HSP first meets them, but since they never internalized the behavior, it’s not really part of them and they quickly move on to abusing the HSP because deep inside they envy and hate the same behaviors they have so recently “mirrored.”
Narcs cannot be helped in traditional therapy because, in order to reach them, there has to be a self there to be reached, but Narcs have lost their true self, or it’s become so deeply buried it can never be accessed in any normal way, if ever.
There’s another way a person can become a psychopath. Some people cross a line at some point in life, a line where they seriously violate some inner (but maybe not fully developed) moral code. For example, in “People of the Lie,” Dr. Peck talks about a man who almost became evil. The man, who was by all accounts a good man, a devoted husband, and father, suffered terrible panic attacks when crossing certain bridges as a requirement of his job.
To help alleviate his anxiety attacks, the man-made a deal with the Devil: he told the Devil if he could make it across the bridge without a panic attack, then he’d give the Devil permission to allow something terrible to happen to his son.
The man said he didn’t really believe in the Devil, so he knew nothing would actually happen and therefore really wasn’t that bad a thing. But it’s still a deal with the devil, and Peck was horrified. The fact the man felt remorse and shame (and confessed his “sin” to Dr. Peck) saved him from crossing the line into becoming evil himself.
We have all heard stories of group violence, situations where people who otherwise would never partake in violent crime by themselves, enthusiastically take part in looting, mass violence and killing when part of a large group. In a way, these people have also sold out to evil and have crossed a moral line.
Soldiers in wars are obliged to kill innocent victims, sometimes women and children, and the deep guilt and shame they feel after doing something so alien to their own moral code could be a big reason why so many of them become mentally ill or suffer from the more severe forms of PTSD.
As an HSP (and also Aspie) child raised by a Narcissist mother, I was at a huge disadvantage. I suffered the whole gamut of psychic insults visited on the hypersensitive: bullied in school, bullied at home (and sometimes filled the role of the Golden Child too, since I was an “only”), and bullied by most of my serious boyfriends and finally my ex-husband.
I could see “through” my mother at an early age, and knew her occasional professions of “love” were utter bullshit. When I was about 6, I remember a very vivid dream that she came into my room, and instead of a loving face, all I could see was solid black eyes–the kind of demon eyes seen in horror movies, coupled with a sneer so full of hate that I felt like I turned to ice inside.
Even after I awoke, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my mother was evil, and I acted especially “spooky” that day, something my mother hated and punished me for because she knew my “spooky” moods meant she knew that I knew what she really was, and it scared her to death.
I had the same experience with my husband years later–same sneer, same opaque black eyes.
It sounds crazy I know, but I have no doubt I actually saw this–and know that what I saw was what they really were. The blackness in their eyes was not a manifestation of a demon inside them–it was a mirror that reflected back the nothingness inside. An endless, black hole where nothing can enter, nothing can be reflected back, and nothing can escape, not even the light of truth. Around a narcissist, just as around a real black hole, all reality becomes distorted and eventually sucked into its depths to become something…else.
If psychopathic narcissists were ever confronted with what they really are–a fake “person” without a true self–I believe it would drive them insane or even to suicide. They would not be able to face the horror of knowing in a sense they really are dead.
They are vampires who must stay alive by sucking the lifeblood from the living. HSPs, by feeling everything as deeply as they do, and having the ability to tap into the life force and zero in on the inexplicable like a psychic laser beam, are extremely “alive” and thereby more powerful than the narcissist.
The malignant narcissist hates that. He wants those abilities and powers for himself–so badly he is willing to destroy those qualities in those who have them, even slowly killing people they observe possess these coveted qualities they both envy and know may expose and destroy them.
It’s also why narcissists in positions of power (and they are all too often in positions of great power) denigrate, hate, and fear scientific research, critical thinking, the arts, and spirituality (as opposed to dogmatic religion). These are things that, just like the HSP’s intuitive powers, can hone in on Truth and expose the lies narcissists like to tell to keep their subjects under their control.
Can narcissists ever be cured?
Probably not, because they either no longer possess a true self (and in a real sense are really soulless) or it’s so deeply buried and obscured it can never be accessed and brought to light.
If there is a self there, I suspect it’s greatly diminished or nearly destroyed. It may sound woo woo, but I believe in the chakra system–those 7 points of concentrated energy that run down the spine and that correspond closely with the physical endocrine system.
Most if not all of us suffer from imbalanced chakras or chakras that are weak (or too strong), but I think in the psychopath, while their chakras exist (if they didn’t they would be dead), they are almost nonfunctional and disconnected from each other instead of working together with the way they should. I also think if you could see the aura of a psychopath it would be thin and dark, probably almost black.
But even the evilest psychopath is not entirely hopeless.We are all children of God or a Higher Power (or however you choose to understand him), and as long as there is life, there is hope.
I believe even the most psychopathic, narcissistic soul-murderer has rare moments of truth and clarity, where they become aware of what they really are, and feel great shame and horror when they do.
Unfortunately, these moments of clarity are so frightening and painful for them that they almost always escape back into their narcissistic ways and deny the truth. If they are to ever be helped, it must be during these rare moments of clarity, and only God can help them, and only if they are willing to submit to His power. We can pray for the psychopaths, but we can never change them.
They must make the decision to change on their own, and unfortunately, that isn’t something we can count on happening very often.
The psychopathic narcissist is really a pretty weak and pathetic character, and as easy as it is for us to hate them, we can also pity them for the lost souls they really are.
A relationship between HSPs and Narcissists is truly undesirable to say the least. If you are an HSP in a relationship with a narcissist, then maybe it is best for you to pack your bags and leave.
The relationship between a narcissist and highly sensitive person might be good sometimes, but it doesn’t overshadow their toxicity.
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get.” – Forrest Gump. This dialogue has resonated with everyone for years, whenever someone has felt discontent or stuck in life. But the beauty of life is that it keeps on changing, and the truth is, your 20s are going to be the best years of your life. In order to make the most of your youth, there are a few changes you need to make in your 20’s so that you can live your life regret-free.
Here Are 25 Uncomfortable Changes You Need to Make Your 20’s Regret Free
1. Be ready to speak up.
If you are not happy with the way things are going on, you should always make it a point to speak up about it. Be it your workplace or love-life, you need to know when things are not working out and do something about it.
And if you never let others know if something is not quite right- it will never change.
2. Be open.
Open yourself up and be prepared to commit yourself wholeheartedly to a cause you believe in and then do everything in your power to make it fruitful, without thinking about what others think of it.
3. Decide whether you want to remain the way you are.
You need to decide if you want to remain the way you are now, or do you want personal growth and change?
It is easy to go with the flow and not worry much about things which are not our immediate concern, but would you want to remain the same person that you are for the rest of your life?
Do you think that would be enough, always? If the answer is no, then there is no time like the present to bring the changes you want to see in yourself.
4. Set out your priorities and start working towards them.
It would be a huge loss to invest yourself in things which wouldn’t even matter after a few years, maybe months. So, it’s better if you invest your precious time doing things that will help you progress in your life, and prioritize those things that will help in your growth.
5. Sit back and think.
In between this frenzy of documenting every single thing that you do, sit back and think about what would you be doing if there were no smartphones? Actually, social media to be more precise. Live your life as you want to live and not how you want your online audience to see.
6. Do not overreact.
There is no need to overreact on everything. It is just a waste of your precious mental, emotional, and physical energy. Keep calm and try to handle things with poise, practicality, and intelligence.
7. Focus on interesting things.
Try to be more informative and interesting. People should want to talk to you because you actually have something to say about things other than judging people. Read and gain knowledge as much as you can.
8. Don’t focus on physical appearances.
Go beyond your physical appearance. Too fat, too thin, looking a certain way, having a certain skin type- all of these are inane things. To remain a certain dress size your entire life is not exactly a worthy accomplishment. Focus on things that make you who you truly are.
9. Think about other people.
Instead of always going on and on about yourself, try knowing a bit more about other people. After all, you already know everything there is to know about you. Other people, with their experiences and dreams, might be a very interesting topic.
10. Show empathy.
Try to be more of an empathetic person rather than an intellectual one. This does not mean that having informed opinions about things is bad, but yes putting as much effort into being kind would definitely make this world a better place.
Don’t be too harsh on yourself. We all have dreams to chase and a very limited amount of time to do the chasing. But it would be utterly regretful if in that process you forgot how to live in the moment and end up being extremely hard on yourself.
Read more. Even though you might feel that you don’t have the time to add ‘non-compulsory’ reading to your daily schedule, but books will always be your most loyal friends.
13. Be nice to others.
Want to make your life worth it so people would remember you? It is actually simple and not necessarily involves an era-defining accomplishment. Try to be nice to others- for the heck of it. No alternative motives. You won’t be disappointed with the results.
14. Don’t hold yourself back.
Stop holding yourself back, and let go of all those inhibitions and insecurities that you hold so dear to your heart.
As I said before- there is no time like the present. Do everything that you have wanted to do and never put it off for another day. This is the only way to make sure when death comes knocking on your door you won’t have a single regret.
15. Work for the right relationship.
Stop daydreaming about a ‘forever’ and start working on making it happen. Relationships take work and effort. If you keep giving up on people too soon, thinking ‘The (rather elusive) One’ would be perfect in every way you would always end up disappointed.
16. Be economical with money.
Splurging might sound fun, but actually, it is not. If you learn to live happily with the little that you have, you won’t find it a problem to hold on to a lot, when it comes your way.
17. Know what life is actually about.
Don’t think to achieve a certain number- be it your figure, your marks or your salary will change your life. The quality of our life is defined by our habits and not by the milestones we may or may not have achieved.
To make sure that you don’t lose yourself while chasing after your dreams make a list of the values which are the most essential to you. Now this will be your guideline every time you need to make a tough decision.
19. Be graceful when letting someone go.
Burning bridges sounds fun but is not. It is much more graceful and pragmatic to disentangle yourself from people, jobs, or places gently and without much wear or tear.
20. Value truth.
Seek truth. If ever you are doubtful, don’t hesitate in asking for what is the exact reality of things. After all, it is the truth that separates us from animals.
21. Deal with your insecurities.
Instead of feeding your insecurities and discomfort with quick fixes, try to find out what is wrong. Not only are these quick fixes dangerous, but they also make you hold yourself back and not do what you really want to.
22. Don’t project your flaws on others.
Look for how you project blame and your insecurities on people around you. You might not even realize this but usually what we hate in others is actually what we lack ourselves.
23. Try to get out of your comfort zone.
As the heading suggests- don’t be afraid to leave your comfort zone. Look for purpose in your life rather than just pleasure. Pleasure just numbs your discomfort. Purpose, not just makes the discomfort bearable but also give you a way to change it.
Social media is not the standard to which you compare your life to. Your life is your reality, whereas Instagram can hardly be said to be real at all. It is as many steps further from reality as it has filters to distort real life.
25. Live in the present.
You need to start living your life in the present. And to do that you need to be happy in your present condition. Happiness comes from within and no amount of money or status or person can change it.
If you can’t be happy with yourself, you can’t be happy with someone else. Happiness is not bound to milestones.
The Minds Journal Articles Volume -1 is Copyright Protected vide Regd.# L-103222/2021
Let us just start by saying that if you are around an empath, this means that you are very lucky. Aren’t they just the nicest people? Always there to help you out and to listen to your stress and problems and always trying their best to help you out and ease out your troubles.
But the thing is, all this comes at a price.
Yes, the empaths pay a price for helping and reaching out to others.
Yes, they do and it is in terms of their own energy and emotions.
Empaths constantly find themselves exhausted and depressed and they feel that no one really knows them well.
They really feel very deeply misunderstood and they reach a level of pain where they start to hide things from the people around them.
So, here is a list of things that the empaths around you must be hiding from you. It’s time you pay attention to the empaths as well.
1) They won’t show how sensitive they are to their surroundings:
Empaths are highly sensitive to the things that happen around them. But somehow, they resist showing this sensitivity to the people around them.
They do so because they don’t want to hurt the feelings of the people around them.
Empaths feel that the people around them are already very stressed and thus they don’t show their feelings in order to safeguard others.
But, in the process of hiding these feelings, they end up being sad and broken themselves.
2) They suck emotions:
They have the uncanny ability to suck all the emotions around them.
This means that they can absorb all the emotions of people around them and in this way they can really help out those people.
They do this by simply listening to the emotions of the people around them. They listen and they absorb and this is the way they heal the people around them.
3) They are shy and like to be left alone:
You may assume that an empath who is constantly engaging with people around him/ her would love to talk to people and be with people.
But in actuality, empaths are just very shy. They love their time alone and they love spending that time recuperating from the overwhelming emotions that they handle all the time.
4) They love the company of nature:
Empaths love to spend time in nature. They accumulate the energy of nature and use it to heal people. Even a small short walk in the park makes them happy and stress-free.
5) They know when you lie to them:
They can absolutely figure out when you are lying to them.
This is because they have seen almost all sorts of people around them and this extreme engagement with the people makes them aware of who the genuine ones are and who are just lying to them.
So, don’t lie in front of an empath.
6) They feel like they have given too much:
Sometimes, they feel that they are giving too much to the world and receiving too less.
These are the times when they are exhausted and tired and they have no energy to deal with the emotions of other people.
But somehow, empaths heal themselves and come back to help the people around them.
7) Parasites love them:
Social Parasites recognize the empaths and use the empaths to dump all of their negative emotions and stress.
Parasites are very smart because they know that the empaths are so soft that they won’t deny helping them. Thus, they feed off the energy of the empaths.
Empaths have a very good intuition. They are actually naturally intuitive.
This can also result in them having dreams and visions about what is happening to people around them.
If an empath warns you about something, take it seriously.
9) Sometimes, they get really stressed out:
Sometimes, the world becomes too much for them to take. And this is when they have a mini breakdown.
They become stressed and anxious because they have to deal with the emotions of so many people around them.
The negativity of the world also breaks their hearts, but somehow they still try to carry on as if nothing has happened.
10) They get used by others:
As we said before, empaths are soft targets. So they easily get used by others and this might also take a toll on the energy and the well-being of an empath.
But, people continue to use empaths as if empaths are doormats. It’s sad but it is absolutely true.
11) Oh! They love so deeply:
There is no love like the love of an empath. They give so deeply and they care so much.
The love of an empath will totally change your life and at the same time, it will make you a better person as well. You will be lucky to be loved by an empath.
Well, if you know an empath, try to help them out in the same way as they are helping everyone around them.
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.– Maya Angelou
You have done so much for the world taking the dark carbon dioxide in and spreading oxygen around you. Women like you do exist, women who are wonderful, brave, beautiful…women whom we can’t simply forget. The world has not been fair to you. Perhaps you are still single, perhaps lonely. People haven’t been wise enough to understand your value. But let us tell you, that we do know how precious you are and you will always be an unforgettable woman for us.
We know there are so many of out there. You are probably tired of falling in love with men and then getting ditched; hate all the drama, the back-bitching, the defamation that follows. Must have grown immune to false promises and sugar-coated lies. Might have dated quite a few men, some mediocre, some extremely –creative, some workaholic. But the end result has been the same. You were left with nothing but memories woven with lies.
You are tired of being taken advantage of, lied to; scared to lose your self-esteem now. Now You know, that’s all that you have at the end of the day.
But let us tell you, that you are a good soul. You might have to leave the people you loved but they have never forgotten you. They are probably blaming themselves for losing you. They might not probably come back to you and apologize because that involves letting go of their ego, which is quite a difficult job for them but you are someone they will never forget.
Sadly, our world underestimates exemplary people, be it a man or a woman. Driven by the seven sins, these exemplary people are despised by the mediocre ones. That’s what happens to women like you.
No matter what others say, we love you. So, we have identified a list of traits which make you so special, for which we can never ever forget you.
(1) You are Empathetic:
You understand others more than us and don’t need to go through a similar problem to feel what the other person is experiencing. You simply realize it. That’s what makes people open out their hearts to you.
(2) You hardly express your pain:
You got cheated by the person you loved and you are dwelling in that trauma. But your cousin is getting married in a month. You know how heart-wrenching it is, but you don’t intend to ruin the fun for others. You are there actively participating in the wedding preparations while you are dealing with your loss alone.
(3) You are the epitome of kindness:
The kindest soul around is you. Crossing your limits to help people in need is very common for you. Your own needs never get a priority. First, you need to help others and then you will think about yourself. You are always there for us and support us selflessly.
(4) You are forgiving:
No matter how much you have been hurt by others, you still believe in forgiveness. You have given second chances to people and they betrayed you again. This, however, didn’t stop you from forgiving another person. You know that forgiving is the best way to let go of negative emotions.
(5) You are fiercely independent:
Your independent encourages everyone else. Your partner doesn’t need to validate your independence. You earn it yourself by being yourself. There’s no need for you to depend on others. Even if you don’t know how to do work, you try to learn it yourself. You are independent and unique.
You are bursting with energy. For any positive work, we can get your full support. Your energy spreads such a positive aura that we can’t help but give our best.
(7) You are passionate:
You are passionate about each and everything you do. Be it choosing the perfect bath soap or organizing the fund-raising concert for the homeless, you are extremely dedicated and you enjoy everything you do. Your passion inspires people and they remember you for ever.
(8) You love unconditionally:
Don’t care if you are loved back or not. You are so full of love for others; not necessarily the person has to be really very close to you to get your love. You love everyone and your expressions of love make others feel positive about themselves. You are always there by our side and can do anything for the ones you love.
You have gone through a lot yourself. Wisdom is an ornament you wear. Your insights solve a lot of complications in your lives. You provide people with deep insights and that makes you an unforgettable woman.
(10) You have confidence in yourself and in us:
You are confident not only about yourself but also about us, too. Probably because you have suffered so many traumas and have been successful enough to overcome them, you know your strengths well. You also believe that we can do it too. You have faith in us and you know we are capable of doing things even though we are unsure of ourselves.
(11) Your beauty comes from within:
You are beautiful, not because of that peach lipstick you wear or that black eyeliner you use; you are beautiful because you are genuinely a good soul; whatever you say, you mean it from your heart. You have a grace which overshadows all the colors of the make-up. Your elegance is something we all admire.
No matter what has happened to you, you have always been persistent. Nothing could change you. You might have got hurt a million times but that didn’t provoke you to hurt others. You have retained your ingenuity and morality amidst everything. No storm could blow you away. That’s what makes you an unforgettable woman.
You are special. Thank you for being such a wonderful woman. When the night is dark, you shine like the vibrant star and your light keeps on glowing in our lives for eternity. We love you.
Are you dating a soft-hearted girl? Then here’s why she gets hurt easily.
“It’s a difficult thing having a heart made of glass; people don’t seem to realize how easily it shatters. How often I’ve swept up the pieces and carefully glued them back together.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Making Wishes
The moment you establish a bond with her, she will give up everything for you.
She will go out of her ways to help you without even bothering about herself. Unfortunately, soft-hearted girls are the ones to get hurt easily.
They are taken advantage of and their emotions are being played with.
It’s easy to cheat on them because they would trust you so much that they wouldn’t believe you can cheat.
There are quite a few reasons for soft-hearted girls getting hurt easily.
(1) Soft-hearted girl gets attached easily:
Flirting is not her cup of tea. In the beginning, it might be interesting for her but after a few dates, she will get attached to you.
She will start believing in your sugar-coated lies and start imagining a future with you. But you had no intention of the same.
A few instances of your warmth will make them believe that you are completely into her. Since she herself gets attached to people easily, it’s hard for her to believe that some people don’t feel the same.
(2) She always notices your positive side no matter what wrongs you have done:
There have been an ample number of times you have hurt her. She must have cried alone too but she would refuse to see your negative side until the last moment.
She will find you a beautiful person if she sees you helping out an aging lady cross the road; she will think that you are a good human being if you offer food to the homeless.
You might have behaved rudely with her during lunch the other day or you might have gone to the party with someone else; you have hurt her but since she has seen those positive sides of yours, she will consider you as a good human being.
This way, it’s easy to take advantage of her innocence and trust.
You got her smitten. The soft-hearted girl believes in fairy-tale romance where we have the prince offering flowers to his princess.
A little gesture of liking will make her feel that it’s extremely romantic and she will start fantasizing about you. The truth is, you don’t need to buy her expensive gifts or take her to exotic locations to win over her.
A warm smile, flowers, or similar gestures are enough to make her feel special. While you might like her and give her vibes of liking, she is perhaps dreaming of a honeymoon with you. Eventually, she is the one to get hurt.
(4) She trusts people easily:
She believes in people very easily. She is a trustworthy person and thinks that everyone can be trusted.
For her, a smile or some few good words mean that the person is a good human being.
This makes her vulnerable and people take advantage of her trust.
(5) She believes that people can change:
You might have hurt her multiple times but she believes that people can change.
She values ‘sorry’ and when someone says that they wouldn’t do it again, she believes in them.
She forgives people easily which makes her the easy target.
They are so simple and innocent that it’s hard for them to have distrust on others. They always see the bright side of people and get hurt every now and then.
It’s time, they should understand their own good and start believing that not everyone is a good person.
“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” An overly sensitive person can always relate.
There is a small group of people in the world. A very special group. These are the healers, the empaths, and the ones this broken world turns to when things go wrong.
These are the ones, that as children, comforted the ones being bullied, shared their lunches and water bottles with those who ran out, and offered to shared notes and homework with the more scatter-brained ones.
These are the ones that grew into the favorite aunt and uncle of the neighborhood that all the adolescents turned to in times of growing pains. These are the ones who were first in when a neighbor or friend was going through a rough patch.
These gentle and kind people hold space for others unconditionally and have an ability to exude comfort and compassion that casts a cloak of love, understanding, and acceptance over all those they encounter.
And often these are the ones we call over-sensitive.
There’s a reason for that. These ‘over-sensitive’ human beings will cry over an emotional advertisement, shed many a tear at a sad movie, and they will respond to the mood of their environment mirroring the angst and suffering they sense.
They will be accused of being too kind, or too giving, and, more often than not, the world will take advantage of their niceness.
But kindness should never be confused with weakness or gentleness with meekness.
For there is no greater strength on this planet than the ability to stay kind in a harsh and unyielding world. It is to these empathic and sensitive people that the world owes its emotional well-being and so much more.
So, if you’ve ever been told to get a grip on yourself, or been told that you shouldn’t be so naïve as to forgive and forget, or if you’ve been accused of investing too much time and effort on others, often without thanks or acknowledgment… know your true worth now.
You are the soft landing, the bandaid, the crutch, the healer, the teacher, the empath that redresses the suffering of those around you.
And this ability to love and feel… truly feel the pain of others… This is your superpower.
You are the real-life super-hero that rushes in to pick up the broken pieces and make things right again.
And the same power that moves you to reach for a box of tissues at a sentimental movie also gives you the power to mend broken hearts and heal the shattered soul.
And yes, you will get teased and be told that you have no control over your emotions, but that’s okay because in your heart of hearts you know the opposite to be true.
You know you have the ability to tune into your feelings and express them, and you know the same ability allows you to tune into the feelings of others around you.
And when the chips are down the broken-hearted will beat a path to your door, for even the most hardened and pragmatic of humans know at the unconscious level that your ‘weakness’ is that very strength that they can lean against when they are falling apart at the seams.
They will gravitate towards you like homing pigeons and you will take them under your wings and offer them the incredible comfort of true compassion… one that cannot be learned through books or courses.
You were born to heal. You were born to feel. And you were born with a very specific purpose.
And yes, you will hurt when those who turned to you walk away, and when they leave without a speck of gratitude, and sometimes the return will even be a well-placed knife in the back.
And you will experience this most keenly because of your incredible gift to feel things more than others.
But you will also heal yourself the way you heal others, and emerge stronger, kinder, and wiser, ready to get on with the business of being the nurturer to the world.
Most of us look high and low on this journey we call life to find our purpose and to find our true calling. Few of us achieve this, however.
We may become rich and famous or powerful, but that will never fill the emptiness of not knowing the true purpose of one’s own existence.
But if you’ve ever been told that you’re too reactive, too nice, too kind, too soft… consider yourself lucky. For in that, lies your cue. Your reason for being, your purpose.
So grab onto every feeling you feel. Together they weave the cape that makes you the superhuman being you are.
The one that nurtures, the one that mends, the one that fights all the frailties that assail humanity, and the one that is strong enough to experience emotions with enlightened grace – for yourself and others.
You are one of the chosen few who are born knowing your true purpose.
And while you may feel the slings and arrows of humanities fickle ways oh-so intensely, you will also know the ecstasy of being in touch with the purest part of yourself, the sheer joy of being one of that very select tribe that truly makes this world a better place; for the universe selects only its strongest and finest for this unique and demanding role.
Wanting to be alone, and feeling lonely are entirely two different things, even though most people don’t seem to get that. People who like to be alone, and identify as a loner will never feel the pangs of loneliness, because for them, being alone is one of the best feelings ever.
People who like to be alone, are not the way they are because they don’t have anybody to spend time with; wanting to be alone is a choice they make because it makes them feel happy and fulfilled. Solitude helps them recharge themselves, and get in touch with who they are on the inside. They are extremely self-aware, and that’s why they are so comfortable with being alone.
Here Are 6 Special Personality Traits Of People Who Like To Be Alone
1) Being loyal is first and foremost.
The thing is that introverts don’t hang out with a lot of people. So the few people they know are extremely important to them. Also, introverts realize that one of the most important premises of any relationship is trust and loyalty. So, they are very loyal in their relationships because they realize the value of relationships.
Most importantly they realize the concept of happy and fulfilling relationships. Thus, loyalty is a core value for an introvert. They never compromise on it and they won’t even let you get away with cheating or lying to them. Is that clear?
Well, people think that introverts love to live life in a strict particular way. This indirectly means that introverts don’t like doing new things. Not at all true. Even introverts, like extroverts, love to do new things. It is just that they don’t publicize it as much as the extroverts do.
You know, introverts don’t need that much attention for everything that they do. So from their social media platforms, it may seem that they are boring and love their diurnal sad lives, not true. Introverts have happy interesting lives as well.
3) They are calm and confident.
Most people assume that introverts don’t talk because they are nervous or something. Again, not true. Introverts are actually very calm and confident.
They have got everything sorted in their minds. They just don’t talk much because they don’t want to. There is apparently no other reason except that.
4) They aren’t uncomfortable alone.
Now, people assume that introverts are sad and alone and they have nothing to do with their lives so they spend time with their pets. The thing is firstly, this is a myth, and secondly that even if introverts have such a life they aren’t uncomfortable with it.
They have no regrets about choosing such a life because they chose to be so. They chose to spend their time on themselves and on themselves. Why would they be sad or uncomfortable about being alone then?
5) They value time.
The thing is that people who spend time alone know the value of time. This is why they spend their time alone, in the first place. So, introverts will always consider their time to important. But, not only this, they will also value the time of other people around them.
This is because they understand and respect the concept of time. For them, time is the most crucial and deciding factor and so it must be spent well rather than in a stupid way. Trust an introvert because they will never ever waste your time.
Yes, introverts are very particular about what is personal and what is public. They conduct themselves in a certain way in the public eye. They also don’t let everyone enter their private sphere. They want to be the only ones who know about their private life.
As hard it is to maintain a private life these days, introverts are pretty good at this game. They will always distinguish between the private and the public no matter whichever situation they are in.
If you know someone who is an introvert, spend more time in making them comfortable. If you build a connection with an introvert, you will know how fulfilling and beautiful it is. They are the best among the lot!
The Minds Journal Articles Volume -1 is Copyright Protected vide Regd.# L-103222/2021
