Tag: aquarius

ARIES : Whether or not they know someone from real life or simply saw them on a dating app

TAURUS : Overdressing to the party and how everyone must be talking about it

GEMINI : Their breakup from years ago that they’re only now processing

CANCER : The only mean-spirited joke they’ve made in their life

LEO : The “friend” who didn’t wish them a happy birthday this year

VIRGO : The comeback they thought of after the argument was over

LIBRA : The unrealistic crush who they’ve convinced themselves is the one that got away

SCORPIO : A beautiful stranger’s longing glance at the train

SAGITTARIUS : Being left on read by someone they’re not even that interested in

CAPRICORN : The trip that’s months away but won’t be fun for them if they don’t plan out the exact itinerary

AQUARIUS : The cryptic comment you made about your dynamic

PISCES : Where their childhood stuffed animals are now

ARIES : Brings back public hangings

TAURUS : Works to conserve things as they are

GEMINI : Creates drama on Twitter

CANCER : Institutes an “at least one hug a day” policy

LEO : Everyone gets a new car and $10,000

VIRGO : Law and order prevail!

LIBRA : “Let’s put this to a vote”

SCORPIO : Stakes their throne upon the bodies of the inferior

SAGITTARIUS : Televised shouting matches

CAPRICORN : Speaks softly and carries a big stick

AQUARIUS : Goes to McDonald’s like the little people

PISCES : Easily pipetted

ARIES : Honestly, they just forgot about you

TAURUS : They’re waiting for an apology, but won’t tell you why

GEMINI : They met someone new and quite frankly, more interesting

CANCER : They want you to ask what’s wrong

LEO : They were using you to make their ex jealous

VIRGO : Your text got lost among their 300 other unread message

LIBRA : They interpreted a tone in your one-worded response and are now preemptively giving you space

SCORPIO : They’re feeling vaguely misanthropic

SAGITTARIUS : They’re leaving you behind with the past version of themselves

CAPRICORN : None of your texts have necessitated a response

AQUARIUS : They gave you a fake number, to begin with

PISCES : They were briefly feeling social but are now entering a period of self-imposed isolation

ARIES : Fight a bro for u

TAURUS : Veg out with after a breakup

GEMINI : Catch you up with the latest gossip

CANCER : Bring you soup and books when you’re sick

LEO : Shower you with compliments

VIRGO : Help you put furniture together

LIBRA : Talk about your newest crush with

SCORPIO : Help you hide the evidence

SAGITTARIUS : Eviscerate you with the truth

CAPRICORN : Keep you motivated

AQUARIUS : Provide you with an irrelevant fact

PISCES : Make empathetic eye contact

ARIES : Throws temper-tantrums

TAURUS : Eats sugary cereals

GEMINI : Can’t keep a secret

CANCER : Cries when someone raises their voice at them

LEO : Needs constant coddling

VIRGO : Can’t have their food touching the plate

LIBRA : Can’t be left alone for ten minutes

SCORPIO : Uses the silent treatment

SAGITTARIUS : Gets into public “am not” and “are too” arguments

CAPRICORN : Has no idea why they feel how they feel

AQUARIUS : Is trying to shock their mom

PISCES : Has imaginary friends

ARIES : Tbh, they don’t even know

TAURUS : They didn’t get the necessary 12hrs of sleep

GEMINI : They’re caught in a lie they can’t charm their way out of

CANCER : They’re sick of cleaning up everyone’s physical and emotional messes

LEO : They entered a room unacknowledged

VIRGO : They totally ‘told you so’, you just didn’t listen

LIBRA : Inequality as a concept

SCORPIO : Three years ago you walked by them and didn’t say hi

SAGITTARIUS : You questioned something they presented as a fact

CAPRICORN : They’re tired, overworked, and can’t take any more bullshit

AQUARIUS : What they want is utopia, but they’re stuck with this world

PISCES : They’ve been sulking for hours and no one is noticing

ARIES : A firework

TAURUS : One giant pleasure receptor

GEMINI : A walking encyclopedia

CANCER : A human hug

LEO : Their life is reality TV

VIRGO : The universal therapist

LIBRA : The universal friend

SCORPIO : An ancient ocean

SAGITTARIUS : A curious child

CAPRICORN : A well-oiled machine

AQUARIUS : A black sheep

PISCES : An extra absorbent emotional diaper

ARIES : Holding a plank

TAURUS : Eating two breakfasts

GEMINI : Developing new interests

CANCER : Taking a 2-hour long shower

LEO : Beauty sleep

VIRGO : Writing their agenda for the week

LIBRA : Obsessing over the drunk message they just sent

SCORPIO : Wasting away under a pile of black blankets

SAGITTARIUS : Shows up to work late anyway

CAPRICORN : Starts the day extra early

AQUARIUS : Refuses to acknowledge the time change

PISCES : Has no concept of time at all actually

ARIES : The consequences of their actions

TAURUS : Other people’s perspectives

GEMINI : Ethics

CANCER : Irony

LEO : How others perceive them

VIRGO : Pop culture events that aren’t talked about on NPR

LIBRA : Red flags

SCORPIO : Their defense mechanisms

SAGITTARIUS : Social cues

CAPRICORN : Other people’s feelings

AQUARIUS : Their own feelings

PISCES : Their boundaries

To move on and forget
Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn

As a middle finger
Aries, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius

On accident
Libra, Pisces, Aquarius