5 Superpowers That Survivors of Emotional Abuse Uniquely Possess

 / 

Superpowers Survivors of Emotional Abuse Uniquely Possess

As a therapist working with survivors of narcissistic abuse, I am consistently in awe of my clients’ willpower, fortitude, determination, and courage as they emerge free from abuse and trauma. Whether impacted in work, family, or romantic relationships, survivors of emotional abuse have a special kind of resilience that is akin to possessing several superpowers.

In the psychology community, this striking empowerment is entitled post-traumatic growth, which essentially means rising to a higher level of functioning after experiencing significant adversity.

Connect with your inner Lagertha (Viking Shieldmaiden) and read on below to “get woke” on your kick a*& superpowers…

Again, not all survivors are codependent. The vast majority of survivors I have worked with are actually highly emotionally intelligent and possess the “super traits”.

Emotionally intelligent people are ironically very attractive to personality-disordered individuals for the very reason that such insightful people possess the very qualities the abuser is lacking. Survivors of narcissistic abuse are not broken!

On the contrary, survivors have SuperPowers that allow them to not only do the work of healing from the trauma of being in an emotionally abusive relationship but also be great partners in healthy relationships in work, family, and love.

The following are some SuperPowers that survivors of emotional abuse uniquely possess (and I should also add, need to be very protective of).

Related: 7 Strengths Of Survivors Of Emotional Abuse

5 Superpowers Survivors Of Narcissistic Abuse Possess

1. High empathy and compassion

Survivors I have worked with generally show an amazing capacity to empathize with their fellow human beings and creatures on the planet, and they are quite intuitive, some with deeply intuitive abilities.

Many have described themselves as “empaths,” which basically means highly intuitive and with deep compassion for other living beings and nature.

survivors of narcissistic abuse
Emotional abuse survivors

2. Great ability to reciprocate and compromise/problem-solve

I saw a meme that showed a picture of a donkey’s head poking out of a barn door with the phrase: “You don’t have to be a Jack-Ass Whisperer.” So many of my clients are outstanding problem solvers and also know how to resolve conflict and compromise in very difficult situations. They have great people skills and diplomacy.

When they are in the throes of a relationship with a narcissist or other emotional abuser, they realize that to have to explain what is common sense (emotionally) to another person says a lot about the abuser, than the other way around. If you have to explain how to be humane, Houston, we have a problem!

3. Integrity and authenticity

Survivors are often known for their honesty and actions/words lining up very congruently. An abuser is drawn to this fabulous quality because, almost as if by osmosis, they can assume the personality of their partner just by being associated with him/her and the survivor’s good works for the community.

Even though these superpowers are something to behold and to be proud of, they are also qualities that the survivor must protect and not give away unless and until they know that the recipient is worthy of receiving such gifts and that those superpowers can be reciprocated back.

Related: Narcissistic Abuse Survivors: Can You Go Back To Being The Person You Were Before Narcissistic Abuse?

4. Accountability for actions

Most survivors I have had the honor of working with possess an uncanny strength to be able to have the humility to know when they need to own responsibility for their own mishaps and then to take action to make that change.

Unfortunately, their abusers generally do not possess this gift, and thus, gaslighting and blame-shifting/projection exacerbate the already vulnerable position a survivor finds her/himself in.

When free of abuse, survivors are able to fortify and reclaim boundaries in future relationships, paving the way for healthier interactions in love, work, and family.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse

5. Willingness/capacity to evolve a relationship into mature levels of true intimacy

An empathic survivor generally knows what it takes to experience a healthy love relationship. This understanding includes the awareness that at some point the infatuation stage will peter out and the roll-up-your-sleeves work of true intimacy (and the “you left the toothpaste cap off” frustrations) of really getting to know one another on a deeper level unfold.

Remember that extreme emotional abusers tend to hone in on folks who know how to do the work of relationships past the shiny high of infatuation, including all the messy and not fun work of paying bills, child-rearing, and house-tending, etc.

We know that extreme abusers do not have the capacity to evolve the relationship to a higher, more mature level and stay stuck in cycles of idealize/devalue/discard.

Survivors, however, can and do move on to experience healthy relationships in love, work, and family with healthy others who are able to reciprocate deeper levels of emotional vulnerability and trust-building.

So you see, there is great hope for survivors of emotional abuse to heal! The very qualities that were draws for abusers are also draws for emotionally healthy people. When survivors do the healing work of trauma recovery in psychotherapy, they move forward to gather stronger powers of discernment as well.

Related: 9 Things You Can Do To Help Emotional Abuse Survivors

When a survivor encounters a potential abuser, often times the “Nar Dar” Alert goes off as the survivor fine-tunes their capacity to engage in healthy connections with others post-recovery.

Most important for survivors in recovery from narcissistic abuse is to connect with competent and compassionate helping professionals who are licensed to provide psychotherapy for relationship trauma; broaden and deepen healthy social support tribe; ramp up self-care regimens, and fully own and practice the Super Powers that have been uniquely bestowed upon them.

Here’s to healing!
Namaste

Want to know more about the powers of survivors of narcissistic abuse? Check this video out below!

Survivors of narcissistic abuse

Written By Andrea Schneider
Originally Appeared On Andrea Schneider
Printed with permission
SuperPowers That Survivors of Emotional Abuse Uniquely Possess
Powers of survivors of emotional abuse
5 SuperPowers That Survivors of Emotional Abuse Uniquely Possess
Super powers of narcissistic abuse survivors
Superpowers Survivors of Emotional Abuse Possess pin
Superpowers Survivors of Emotional Abuse Uniquely Possess pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

  1. Frank G Avatar
    Frank G

    Explains a lot of my personality. Has not been easy being labeled the doormat or whipping boy in my life time. But I do see my strengths now. Thank you.

Leave a Reply



Up Next

7 Signs Someone Is Projecting Onto You: Are You Bearing Someone Else’s Burden?

Signs Someone Is Projecting Their Emotional Baggage On You

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and it felt like they were accusing you of things that didn’t seem like you? It’s as if they’re dumping their own issues on you, leaving you scratching your head, wondering what is happening. Well, this is just one of the many signs someone is projecting their emotional baggage on you.

You’re gradually realizing that you are being blamed for things that’re not your fault at all. You are being accused to be the kind of person you are not. It’s as though they’re running their private movie theater, and you’ve become their projection screen.

But before we get int



Up Next

Dog Whistling Narcissist: 8 Ways Narcissists Use This Covert Manipulation Tactic

Dog Whistling Narcissist: Covert Ways They Manipulate You

Have you ever had the feeling that when you are talking to someone, there’s a hidden message they’re trying to get across to you? A message that feels insulting, condescending and hurtful? If you answered yes, then you are dealing with a dog whistling narcissist, my friend.

These people are experts at sending subtle messages that are extremely hurtful and humiliating, but only you understand it, not anyone else. When a narcissist uses dog whistling, their main motive is to manipulate you and keep you under their control. They’ll use it to dominate you, and put you down, while pretending to be harmless.

But what is dog whistling, and how narcissists use dog whistling? Let’s find out, shall we?



Up Next

8 Powerful Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting With Confidence

Powerful Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting With Confidence

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you felt like everything you are saying or feeling is being dismissed and invalidated, even though you know you’re right? If you answered yes, then you were subjected to gaslighting. If you have experienced this, then remember these 8 phrases to shut down gaslighting like a boss.

When someone makes you question your reality, it can feel extremely frustrating and depressing. Weโ€™ve all been there at some point. These little digs can make you feel like youโ€™re on thin ice, be it from a friend, family member or that one co-worker.

But hey, you’ve come to the



Up Next

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Overcoming Her Legacy And Healing From The Wounds

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Healing From The Wounds

Having an emotionally absent mother can take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional well-being, and that too from a very young age. This article is going to explore what it means to have an emotionally unavailable mother, how her emotional absence can affect you and how to heal from it and move on.

Growing up with a mother who wasnโ€™t emotionally available may have complicated your relationship with your emotions. Our early experiences of emotional attunement play an important part in the subsequent regulation of our emotions.

An emotionally absent mother may fail to develop the kind of satisfying attachment bonds in her children that make sustaining ordinary relationships possible.



Up Next

Is It Love Or A Trap? 10 Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing

Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing: Love Or Trap?

Have you ever experienced the turbulent side of love, that comes from falling head over heels for someone? The butterflies in your stomach, the passion you feel, and the feeling of being swept off your feet – feels amazing, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that behind this seemingly perfect faรงade lies something dark and sinister? What if I told you these are warning signs of love bombing?

Welcome to the dark world of love bombing; a psychological tactic used by manipulative people to gain control over your mind and heart. In this article, we will talk about what does love bombing mean, and the signs you are being love bombed.

Let’s get started first with what does love bombing mean, shal



Up Next

Surviving Toxic Friendships: 15 Shocking Signs Of An Abusive Friend You Can’t Afford To Ignore

Signs of an Abusive Friend: Surviving Toxic Friendships

Do you feel like your BFF is jealous of you? Do they constantly criticize and always try to influence your decisions? Are they always around when they need a favor from you, but immediately disappear when you need support? Then it is likely you have a toxic, abusive friend. Let us explore the signs of an abusive friend and how to deal with an abusive friend.

A friendship is one of the most authentic and purest forms of relationships we can experience as it is not bound by blood or any compulsion. Friendships are born out of mutual respect, support, companionship and happiness. Our friends support us and pick us up when we are down and guide us when we stray too far.

However, some individuals use the mask of friendship simply to exploit, dominate and abuse us. They pretend to be our friends as long as we are of use to them and freque



Up Next

The Playbook Of Deceit: 11 Narcissistic Games Used To Torment You

Narcissistic Games Used To Torment: Playbook Of Deceit

Have you ever encountered someone that made you question your own sanity? Or found yourself caught in a web of manipulation, unsure of how you got there? If so, then you may have encountered a narcissist and have been a victim of narcissistic games.

Narcissists are masters at psychological games. A charming smile hides their darker agenda as they play several mind games to control and exploit you. These mind games narcissists play can be psychologically damaging, without you even realizing it at times.

In this article, weโ€™ll unravel 11 narcissistic games, exposing all their tactics, so that you don’t fall