A jealous mother in law can turn even the best relationships into a circus. Her little digs and comparisons are enough to make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. But if you want to handle her, the first step is to understand why she’s acting that way.
Ever felt like your MIL is always trying to get her son’s attention whenever you’re around? Or noticed that she has a talent for undermining your choices and decisions? These subtle traits can be so hard to ignore, but understanding them can be the first step
Most mother-in-laws tend to act a certain way. If you recognize the signs, you can sail through this crazy situation with grace and keep the peace.
Read more here: MIL From Hell: 10 Signs You’re Dealing With A Toxic Mother In Law
11 Jealous Mother-in-Law Signs To Recognize
1. Constant Comparisons
Among the signs of a jealous mother in law an annoying habit of her could be comparing you with other people, especially her child’s exes or any other relatives.
It might be subtle comments such as “Emma used to do it like this” or more direct statements that suggest you’re not good enough. Do you also find this annoying?
2. Overly Protective Behavior
One of the jealous mother-in-law signs is that she may become too protective over her child’s time or decisions, which can range from intruding into your plans together to questioning every choice you make as a couple.
This may also come from the fear of losing control or influence on her child.
3. Passive-Aggressive Remarks
A passive-aggressive comment is one thing that jealous mother in laws love the most. These remarks often appear like concern or advice but underneath them lies criticism and disapproval – it’s like treading on eggshells at all times trying to understand what they really mean.
4. Undermining Your Choices
One of the jealous mother in law signs is that she might subtly break down your choices, particularly on matters where she has a strong opinion.
These could be how kids should be brought up, financial management skills and even house décor among others – this is just her way of showing that she has power over you or knows better than anyone else which can be very irritating.
5. Exclusion from Family Events
Have you ever felt like an outsider during family get-togethers and celebrations? One of the signs of a jealous mother in law might intentionally leave you out or make you feel unwelcome at her family’s events.
She said that she can keep her child close to herself without your interference.
6. Over-the-Top Concern
It’s fine for someone to be concerned about your safety, but one of the jealous mother in law signs is that she will take this normality one step further by blowing everything out of proportion.
She may even exaggerate things that could be wrong in your life or relationship as a way of planting doubt between her son/daughter and yourself.
7. Competing for Attention
Sometimes, a mother-in-law’s jealousy is shown through subtle attempts to get people’s attention directed towards them rather than the couple involved.
She creates conflicts by making it hard for the two lovebirds to spend time together or with their kids. For instance, you and your partner have arranged a special weekend trip. While you are preparing to leave, your mother-in-law calls you with an “important” matter that could definitely wait or be solved by someone else.
This might be an attempt to keep her child focused on herself, and jeopardizing the romantic weekend and irritating you.
8. Interfering In Your Relationship
A jealous mother-in-law may cross boundaries by meddling in your relationship by giving unsolicited advice or counsel, she may even try to influence major choices affecting both of you as a couple.
Some toxic mother in laws even go around spreading rumors to create differences between you and your partner.
9. Criticizing Your Family Background
Another way that envy may manifest itself is through criticizing one’s upbringing or family background.
It’s not easy when your mother-in-law criticizes your family background. It can hurt deeply, especially if it feels like she’s making her family superior to yours. It can also make you feel like your position in the family is being undermined.
10. Withholding Love And Support
A jealous mother-in-law may be envious of the relationship between her child and their spouse. This can lead to some toxic behaviors, like emotional withdrawal. When a mother-in-law is envious, they may not show any love or offer any support to their child’s spouse, which can make them feel lonely and rejected.
If your mother-in-law is treating you this way, consider setting boundaries to protect your relationship with your spouse.
11. Ignoring Boundaries
The last straw with a jealous mother-in-law is when she blatantly ignores the boundaries that you have set. This could be anything from your personal space to parenting decisions and even how you manage your own household. This disregard can cause tension and conflict, so it’s important to address it head-on.
If you’re struggling with a mother-in-law who disregards your boundaries, below are some tips. Remember that you are not alone, and it is okay to set boundaries in order to protect yourself and your family.
5 Ways To Handle A Jealous Mother In Law
1. Learn To Draw the Line:
Make clear-cut boundaries at an earlier stage. Let her know that you prioritize your relationship with your partner but still appreciate her as a mother.
2. Remain Calm and Composed:
Whenever she comments sarcastically or tries to belittle you, respond in a collected manner. If you lose temper things may get worse.
3. Identify Common Interests:
Look for activities or hobbies that both of you enjoy doing. It can help relieve envy by creating a positive connection between yourselves.
4. Involve Your Partner:
Share your emotions openly with your spouse. They should be able to intercede and enforce limits when dealing with their own mothers.
5. Look for Support:
Do not hesitate seeking advice from friends, family members or even therapists. An external point of view can give useful suggestions and tactics.
Read more here: 5 Ways His Mother Can Poison Your Relationship (Even If She Doesn’t Mean To)
By understanding her underlying emotions and responding with empathy and clear boundaries, you can promote a more happy family. Share your thoughts about having a toxic MIL in the comments below!
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