Have you ever asked yourself why men vanish?
Has it ever happened to you?
A man comes into your life. He pursues you super hard for months. All of a sudden, he vanishes for a week. Maybe he hangs out with his kids. Maybe he hangs out with his friends. At first, you don’t think much of it. He comes back the next week and everything seems OK. Then he starts to go cold. Before you know it, he completely vanishes from your life leaving you to feel unloved, unsatisfied, and totally confused.
You start going mad trying to figure him out. You start asking yourself, “What did I do wrong? Why has he left? Why doesn’t he want me anymore? Why do men go cold like this?”
Here’s the thing. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were probably perfect in every sense of the word. I mean, come on, this man pursued you. This man wanted you. You didn’t do anything wrong. The reason he vanished was to do with him. You’ll try to rationalize it though by telling yourself he got cold feet or something. Now you feel a little better. You like the sound of him having cold feet. It sounds feasible. He just wasn’t ready for you.
The signs he was going to vanish were probably there from the start but you just didn’t see them. Women have this thing about “keeping their guard up” when they first meet a man. I say, don’t worry about keeping your guard up, just keep your eyes open. Write things down. Are his stories adding up? Is this a man who walks the walk?
Read 6 Things To Do If He’s Losing Interest In You
The Obvious Signs A Man Will Go Cold On You
If you write things down, and go back and read over things, you’ll see the signs were there.
The trouble is so many women are so desperate for a relationship they ignore the signs. They want things to work out so they’re blind to the red flags. You wanted this guy, and he’s taught you a valuable lesson. What lesson did he teach you?
You’re never going to find out why he vanished. Forget about it. What he’s taught you is he wasn’t the right man for you.
When a man really wants a woman, he backs up his advances with actions.
Our advances are continuous. Our advances never stop. We’ll make you feel safe, we’ll make you feel secure, and we’ll keep doing that over and over again. The next time a man vanishes, ask yourself did you listen to everything he said, or did you paint a picture of him based on what you WANTED him to be like? Did you miss the signs he was just looking for sex, or did you ignore them because you wanted him so badly? You need to start taking responsibility for your own part in relationships, rather than blaming the guy the whole time.
I hate it when women say they didn’t do anything wrong in a relationship. I hate it when men say they did nothing wrong in a relationship. It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about responsibility and self-awareness. Anyone who claims they’re never wrong lives through their head and their ego. Their ego can’t handle the fact they gave in and had sex with someone they shouldn’t have. Their ego is angry someone went cold on them. Their ego is pissed off and wants to know what went wrong. Their ego just wants to be loved and now it just wants to be right.
What Should You Do When A Man Vanishes?
Drop your ego. Take some responsibility when a man vanishes. The reason he flew off was probably because he wasn’t grounded in the first place. I know when I’m pursuing someone I really desire I’m grounded from the get-go. I don’t want to vanish. I want to get to know you. I want to be with you. I want to love you. Think about that the next time your ego tries to walk all over you when you claim you did nothing wrong.
Read 3 Reasons Why Men Pull Away: Why A Guy Might Say He Needs Space
Written by David Wygant
Originally appeared on DavidWygnant.com
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