By Ghazaleh Shokouhaghaei, MA, AAC, Counseling Psychology Student
I never thought I would work in suicide prevention- it started with just being a good listener. I spent most of my career in education and was always the person people came to when they needed to talk. They said I made them feel safe, that I was nonjudgmental. I thought that was just part of being a good friend or coworker. But I’ve always been fascinated about human behavior- why do people respond to similar situations differently. That curiosity was the spark that led me to change majors and pursue psychology.
As I entered the field, I found myself increasingly alarmed by the rate of suicide attempts and began to realize that suicide is not just a clinical concern, it’s societal one. During my grad studies, I soaked up everything- classes, seminars, conferences, training. That’s where it hit me: this field is about being able to sit with the pain. It’s about hearing the scary thoughts- the suicidal ideation, the hopelessness- and not flinching. Not labeling. Just listening, being present, being caring.
Meeting Dr. Ursula Whiteside truly reshaped how I think about this work. Her approach to suicide prevention was so real- no fluff, no pretending. Just genuine care about people and the rising number of suicide attempts. She said something that completely shifted my perspective: people can want to live and die at the same time. This idea helped me realize the complexity and pain that exist all at once. She emphasized the importance of therapist being able to sit with the pain- without fear, without rushing to fix everything. I learned from her- how to use Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills and language, how to be nonjudgmental, and how to respect the individuality of each client. But most importantly, I learned how to show up fully human: grounded, compassionate, and real.
This work is hard and I’m just at the beginning of it. You hear people’s pain day in and out. You care about them. You care about their families. You see parents and loved ones come to sessions, terrified and exhausted, trying their best. They are unsure what to say and do, afraid of making things worse. And at the other side you see the client in pain- numb, hopeless, carrying the unbearable guilt and anger of being a burden. They aren’t trying to die; they are trying to make the pain stop. But when both sides are met with empathy rather than fear, with curiosity instead of judgment- something shifts. That’s when healing begins, and that’s where I found my purpose.
So, how did I get here? I followed that feeling, the one that says, “it’s hard, but it matters”. And I just stayed with it. I kept showing up. I kept learning. As I near graduation, I want to continue doing what I can. If something I say, something I teach, or the way I sit with someone makes a difference- even for one person- that’s a start.
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