You will be okay.
You may not see this right now, but I hope you are learning
that you deserve more than someone who makes you
question your worth each and every day. I hope you are
learning that some types of love are too selfish for your soft,
generous heart.I hope you are learning that the kind of love you have chased
in the past is toxic and that you deserve a lot more than that.
You need yourself more than ever right now and I wish you
could see that the most important love you could give right
now is the love you give to yourself.If you are feeling stuck and unable to move on from someone
who is hurting you, I want you to know that you will be okay
on your own, you will be okay. If you haven’t realized this by
now, you are so capable of doing hard things, and it’s
put yourself first,
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Healing After a Toxic Relationship: You Will Be Okay
You will be fine. It might not look like this to you now, but slowly I hope you are realizing that it is not okay to keep on doubting your value because of one person. I also hope that you understand that your tender and giving nature does not deserve a love that only thinks of oneself. When you are trapped in a destructive relationship your self-confidence, the way you rely on yourself and view of yourself may get so damaged that you might be questioning if it is you who is the problem while in fact you only wanted to be treated with dignity and respect.
Healing generally starts after you get out of a toxic relationship. It is normal to experience painful clarity with distance. You mind going back and notice how many times you allowed your suffering to go unnoticed or blamed their behavior to maintain the peace. Perhaps you call it a “period of upheaval” or you find the fault in everyone which is your excuse to ignore the feeling of your nervous system being tightened each time their name appears on your phone. Experts say that recognizing the true nature of the experience and accepting the truth of the experience without dismissing the feelings set the healing in motion.
My guess is you are starting to discover that the type of love you kept running after was not really love but merely survival. Such survival might have been about tiptoeing around, regulating other persons moods, or making yourself smaller so they would stay. You are worthy of a love where you wont have to disappear. You are worthy of a love that wont bewilder you, exhaust you, or make you feel like you are too much and not enough at the same time. A couple of people who exit toxic relationships say that they feel detached from themselves which is why rediscovering your own self is a major part of healing.
Currently, you really need you the most. The love that matters the most right now is the love that you show to yourself. Self-love after a breakup is not merely a perfunctory notionit truly aids in reconstructing one’s emotional base and fortitude, which can make a person more adept at selecting better relationships down the line. If you consider self-care acts, setting boundaries, nights when you opt for sleep instead of overthinking as a message to yourself: “I am important. I deserve to be protected.”, you are continuously changing the story you tell yourself about your worth through these decisions.
If you find yourself stuck, unable to let go of someone who is hurting you,then I want you to remember:you will be okay without them. Most of the time healing after a toxicrelationship is coming to terms with the fear of being alone and realizingthat being by yourself is not a punishmentit is where you get tolisten to your own voice again. According to research on self-esteem andrelationships, people with higher levels of self-worth, demonstrate betterways of emotional expression and have more fulfilling relationships withothers as well as with themselves.You are strong enough to do difficult things, and loving yourself afterbeing hurt is probably one of the most difficultand courageousthingsyou will ever do.
You may not even realize that you are strong, but strength is not always loud. Sometimes it looks like blocking a number, not replying unfollowing unsubscribing from them, from the old version of you that settled. Sometimes it is booking a therapy session, journaling instead of texting them again, or reaching out to a friend who reminds you who you are. Healing after a toxic relationship takes time and effort, but every time you decide to be at peace rather than being in the middle of their chaos, you are already on the way.
You will be okay. Not because it doesn’t hurt, but because you are finally learning to put yourself first—and that changes everything.
This emotional shift—from chasing toxic love to choosing self-love and healing after a toxic relationship—is deeply supported by research on self-esteem, emotional expression, and relationship satisfaction read more.
Read More: The Honest Truth About Life After A Toxic Relationship
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