Struggling with Existence: When Love Fills You and Emptiness Follows
It’s strange how somedays, there’s so much love in me. I feel like I could heal the whole world.
And some days, I don’t even want to exist in it.
Some days, I find myself struggling with existence in a way that feels impossible to put into words. It’s like I’m overflowing with love and light, convinced I could heal the entire world just by showing up fully.
And then, just as quickly, the pendulum swings, and I’m hit with the opposite—days when I don’t even want to exist in it. That’s the messy, complicated beauty of being human, isn’t it? The constant balancing act between emotional highs and lows.
If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. So many of us deal with silent mental health struggles, even while we smile on the outside. We go through moments where we feel invincible, like everything finally makes sense.
And then we hit those nights when we’re left alone with our existential thoughts, wondering what the point of it all really is. It’s like living on a seesaw, never sure which way the weight will shift tomorrow.
What makes this so hard is the unpredictability. One day, you’re bursting with energy, full of love for the people around you, ready to pour yourself into work, relationships, and dreams.
The next day, you’re tired, disconnected, and wishing the world would stop spinning just for a while so you could catch your breath.
These emotional highs and lows are exhausting, but they’re also a reminder that we’re alive, that we’re feeling deeply, that we’re present in the chaos of existence.
And maybe that’s the part we don’t talk about enough. Struggling with existence doesn’t mean we’re broken. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with us. It simply means we’re human. The truth is, life is full of contradictions.
You can love the world deeply and still feel too fragile to face it. You can want to heal others while secretly needing someone to heal you. You can smile at your friends and still go home and wrestle with your own mental health struggles.
Related: Caught in the Void: 10 Signs of an Existential Crisis and How to Cope
The hardest part of it all? The shame. So many of us carry the belief that we shouldn’t feel this way—that somehow, if we’re blessed, loved, or successful, we have no right to our existential thoughts. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Even the happiest-looking people you know are likely carrying their own silent storms. Emotional highs and lows don’t discriminate. They don’t check your bank account, your relationship status, or your social media likes.
They’re simply part of the human condition.
So what do we do with that? Maybe the answer isn’t in fixing it but in accepting it. Allow yourself to have the days when you’re full of fire and love, when you want to heal the world. Celebrate them.
And when the low days come, when struggling with existence feels heavier than anything else, allow yourself to rest. Sit with your feelings. Give yourself the same compassion you’d give a friend.
At the end of the day, your worth isn’t measured by your productivity or your mood. It isn’t measured by how many people you save, heal, or inspire. It’s measured by the simple fact that you exist—even when it feels hard to.
You’re allowed to have emotional highs and lows. You’re allowed your mental health struggles. You’re allowed your existential thoughts.
Because maybe being human isn’t about having it all figured out. Maybe it’s about surviving both the love-filled days and the heavy ones.
Maybe it’s about knowing that even when you don’t want to exist in the world, the world is still a little brighter because you’re here.
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