“Santa Claus has the right idea: Visit people only once a year.”
– Victor Borge
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I miss the old days when bills didn’t have my name on them.
Ah, the good old days! The days when bills didn’t have your name on them. When life was carefree, and you could ignore anything that had to do with money. Those were the days, right? It’s funny to think about how carefree everything felt when you didn’t have to worry about what was due at the end of the month.
I mean, who else misses those simpler times when bills were just… someone else’s problem? Funny quotes about life often point out how we long for the days before adulthood h
Love these lunatics who say things like “choose happiness!”
As if I saw happiness on the menu and I was like “none of me thank you. I will have the depression with a side of anxiety please.”
Funny quotes and sarcastic sayings like the one about choosing happiness highlight a deeper truth: life isn’t as simple as checking a box on a menu. Imagine if emotions worked that way. You could stroll into your favorite diner and order a plate of pure joy, served with a side of optimism and a sprinkle of motivation. But instead, reality tends to feel like someone accidentally sent your order to the wrong table
My New Year’s List -1. Travel2. Travel3. Travel4. Travel5. Money for travel
Every year, we find ourselves scribbling down a New Year’s list—stuff we want, stuff we think we need. For me? My New Year’s list this year (and every year, honestly) has one recurring theme: travel, travel, travel, and, oh yeah, money for travel. I mean, how can I not?
Think about it. Socks? Boring. Fancy tech? Meh, it gets outdated. But a plane ticket? That’s the gift that keeps giving—memories, stories, and let’s be real, Instagram-worthy moments
When someone tries to disrespect me but I’m just a retired bitch who’s trying to be nice.
There’s something hilariously profound about the idea of being a “retired bitch” — someone who’s been through it all, thrown the shade, dealt with nonsense, and now just wants peace. But what happens when someone tries to disrespect you while you’re minding your own business? Let’s unpack this funny saying and sprinkle in a few sarcastic quotes and witty memes about life along the way.
Sometimes, I wanna be a strong, independent single Aunt.Other times, I wanna be a billionaire’s wife.Most times, I wanna be a panda.
Let’s face it: life is chaos, and we’re all just trying to survive the circus. Some days, you’re strutting around with strong, independent single aunt energy, feeling like Beyoncé with a Netflix subscription. Other days, you’re like, “Maybe I should just marry rich and call it a day.” And then, most days, you’re basically a panda—eating, napping, and being everyone’s favorite hot mess.
This quote
A good woman will stay by your side no matter how much you lie, cheat, or steal.
That woman is your mother, not us.
A good woman will stand by you no matter how much you lie, cheat, or steal—but don’t confuse her with anyone other than your mother. Let’s face it, your mom is the ultimate ride-or-die. Her love is unconditional, while the rest of us? We have limits. You can’t lie to your girlfriend 17 times and expect her to bake you cookies, but your mom? She’ll be there, probably blaming herself for not raising you better.
Being single makes you realize that most of the fish in the sea aren’t worth catching
Being single makes you realize that most of the fish in the sea aren’t worth catching. It’s like shopping in a discount bin—there’s a lot of stuff, but very little of it actually fits your vibe. And that’s fine! You start to see that not every option is worth pursuing. Some people might look good on paper—great job, decent smile, maybe even a killer Instagram feed—but when you dive deeper, they’re like a soggy piece of toast: not quite as exciting as they first seemed.
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