Paranoia Of Each Zodiac Sign

ARIES: Thinks any gesture that isn’t emotionally intense is fake

TAURUS: Has a closet full of canned goods for when existing infrastructure finally collapses

GEMINI: Doesn’t know why they haven’t been canceled already

CANCER: Scared they aren’t helpful enough to deserve love

LEO: Thinks every vague post on social media is literally about them

VIRGO: Stands at least 10 ft away from any sick person

LIBRA: Thinks you hate them if you don’t respond right away

SCORPIO: Thinks your attempts to get close to them are an elaborate scheme

SAGITTARIUS: Wants you to be in love with them but is scared that you’re trying to get them to fall in love with you

CAPRICORN: Terrified of saying the wrong thing and alienating everyone forever

AQUARIUS: Thinks the government cares about their texts to their weed dealer

PISCES: Thinks everyone can tell that they’re falling about and they’re probably right