I Just Rolled A Joint

I Just Rolled A Joint

I just rolled a joint. It was my ankle.

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You Didn’t Deserve To Be Hurt

You Didn't Deserve To Be Hurt

Dudes will be like”You didn’t deserve to be hurt like that, you deserve to be hurt like this.”

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I’m Late For The House

I'm Late For The House

I drive home so quickly after work like I’m late for the house.

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You Will Find Someone Who Is Obsessed With You

You Will Find Someone Who Is Obsessed With You

At some point, you will find someone who is obsessed with you and wants all your time.

That person will be your manager at work

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This Month Will Be A Rough Stay Strong

This Month Will Be A Rough Stay Strong

Dear liver, this month will be a rough stay strong.

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What’s The First Thing You Notice

What's The First Thing You Notice

Them: What’s the first thing you notice when someone tries to approach you?

Me: The audacity.

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I Didn’t Show Up To Class

I Didn't Show Up To Class

How do I explain to my professor that the reason I didn’t show up to class is because in my dream I woke up and checked my email and saw that class was canceled and I believed it?

– Unknown

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Sorry For Not Posting Too Much These Days

Sorry For Not Posting Too Much These Days

Sorry for not posting too much these days. I’m in love. I’ll be back when I’m heartbroken.

Bye, lonely people.

Being Me, being myself quotes, becoming a better me quotes, just being me quotes, simple being me quotes, quotes about being me, Funny Quotes, funny sayings, short funny quotes, funny lines, witty quotes, funny thoughts, best funny quotes, funny phrases