Have you been trying your hand at planning date nights? Date nights are the perfect opportunity to unwind and connect with your partner, but how can you make it truly special and unforgettable?
This article is going to talk about four science-backed ideas that can help you plan the perfect date night, ensuring you both have an experience that’s not only fun but meaningful.
KEY POINTS
- Engaging in exciting new activities together boosts excitement and mimics the feeling of falling in love.
- Movie nights can improve relationships by fostering open and safe communication.
- Activities with ample eye gazing, like romantic dinners, enhance attraction and strengthen connection.
The cultural focus on grand romantic gestures reminds us of the importance of nurturing our relationships.
In fact, research shows that when dates are planned with intention, date nights within long-term relationships can transform a routine evening into an opportunity to reconnect, rekindle excitement, and even foster long-term marital stability.
Related: 40+ Date Night Ideas According To Your Love Language
How to Plan the Perfect Date Night—According to Research
Creating a meaningful date night doesn’t have to involve extravagant plans. The key when planning dates is to prioritize connection, novelty, and shared joy.
Here are some research-backed ideas to consider:
1. Try a new activity together.
According to Arthur Aron’s self-expansion theory, people have an innate desire to improve themselves and grow. By trying a new activity together as a couple—whether it’s rock climbing, trying a new cuisine, or taking a cooking class— allows each individual to grow alongside each other, fulfilling motivational goals together.
Further, trying novel and especially exciting activities can activate adrenaline and dopamine, chemicals linked to excitement and bonding.
For instance, Aron’s most famous research found that when crossing a shaky bridge, people experience physical arousal (like an increased heart rate) due to fear, which they then might mistakenly attribute to feeling attracted toward someone they encounter on the bridge instead.
Taking that study into account, trying something (safely) exhilarating, like visiting an amusement park together, may help rekindle the spark or keep the flame burning (Aron et al., 2000).
2. Engage in eye gazing over dinner.
Eye contact is a powerful way to build intimacy. A study published in Journal of Research in Personality found that prolonged mutual gazing increases feelings of closeness and attraction.
Whether at home or in a restaurant, try looking deeply into each other’s eyes to further deepen your emotional connection.
3. Watch a relationship-focused movie and discuss it.
Choosing a film that explores themes of love, communication, or overcoming challenges romantically and discussing how the story relates to your own relationship by using film as a proxy can help you both keep current or future issues at bay in a safe way.
In fact, research shows that this practice can strengthen emotional understanding and improve marital satisfaction, similar to the benefits of couples therapy (Rogge et al., 2013).
To find out which specific movies and discussion questions were used in this study, read my post here.
4. Take a walk down memory lane.
Recreate your first date, listen to your wedding song, or revisit places where your relationship began.
A study published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that romantic nostalgia was positively associated with greater relationship commitment, satisfaction, and closeness (Seehusen & Overall, 2022).
Related: How Date Nights Can Protect Your Relationship From A Divorce
Make Date Nights a Habit
Date nights aren’t just for Valentine’s Day or a special occasion, and they aren’t just about having fun. Really, they’re about building and maintaining a strong foundation for your relationship.
As the research shows, the benefits extend far beyond the moment—they create or continue to build on a foundation of trust, intimacy, and mutual support that sustains relationships for years to come.
By prioritizing time together, whether weekly, biweekly, or monthly, exploring new experiences and creating shared memories can deepen your bond and ensure your relationship thrives for years to come.
References:
Aron, A., Norman, C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples' shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273–284. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.273
Kellerman, J., Lewis, J., & Laird, J. D. (1989). Looking and loving: The effects of mutual gaze on feelings of romantic love. Journal of Research in Personality, 23(2), 145–161. https://doi.org/10.1016/0092-6566(89)90020-2
Lauer, S., & Lauer, R. (2022). The importance of date nights in building emotional intimacy. Personal Relationships, 29(3), 560–578.
Rogge, R. D., Cobb, R. J., Johnson, M. D., Lawrence, E., & Bradbury, T. N. (2013). The CARE program: A preventive approach to improving marital satisfaction. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 81(6), 949–961. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0033945
Wilcox, W. B., & Dew, J. (2012). The date night opportunity: What does couple time tell us about the health of marriages? The National Marriage Project.
Seehusen, C. M., & Overall, N. C. (2022). Romantic nostalgia as a resource for healthy relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(2), 255–277. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211073162
Written By Mariana Bockarova
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
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