Invalidating
- I don’t know why you’re so upset; it’s not a big deal.
- I already apologized, can’t we just move on?
- You never respond to me
- It’s ridiculous you’re upset because you know I love you
Validating
- Clearly this is a big deal to you. How can I support you right now?
- Maybe you want something in addition to “I’m sorry.” Maybe you want to know I really understand how it affected you.
- I don’t want you to feel attacked because I know you care; but at the same time I feel shut out when I don’t hear back from you.
- I love you very much and I need to know you know that. It’s also important for me to understand why this is affecting you like it is.
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