Many people tend to believe that introversion and shyness are the same concepts, but that is far from the truth. Yes, shyness may be one of the many signs or traits of an introvert, but there’s so much more to an introvert than just being ‘shy’. In this article, we are going to talk about the signs you are an introvert, and not just shy.
All my life I’ve been told that I was shy. I’ve heard it been said so many times that I gradually believed it until I learned and understood that shyness is the apprehension and discomfort around people in social situations.
When I learned that I’m apprehensive of people being around me, l understood why being around too many people for too long always leaves me feeling drained and exhausted.
This makes me selectively social – I am selective about the people I surround myself with. This means that I would prefer a deep yet entertaining conversation with a couple of close friends that I know well, rather than attend a party where I have to entertain strangers with small talk.
I personally believe that there is much more quality in the conversation when it is shared between a few individuals who I am comfortable around, as opposed to small and surface-level chit-chats with people that I don’t really know.
Let me put it this way – I’m not a fan of interacting just for the sake of interacting. I usually have a reason behind every interaction which ultimately grants us a rewarding feeling. It was then that the realization dawned upon me that I wasn’t shy, I was an introvert.
If you’ve always thought that you were shy, but you’re not afraid of being around people, check out this list of 24 signs that you are an introvert.
24 Signs You Are An Introvert And Not Shy
1. You Don’t Enjoy Small Talk
This is one of the defining signs you are an introvert. Introverts prefer meaningful conversations that amount to some useful discussions. We are deep thinkers and thrive on deep conversations about metaphysics, philosophy of life, ideas, theories, and big goals and ideas.
But when small talk is inevitable, we can’t help but try to make the other person feel comfortable by engaging in it. We’re very good listeners and are naturally in tune with the feelings of others and how they express themselves. More often than not, we find these casual chit-chats gradually turn into deeper and more meaningful conversations.
2. You Have a Love-Hate Relationship With Your Phone
Introverts are not the best at talking over the phone. This should not be taken personally by the receiving end, because phone calls terrify us. At times we really hate the phone because it’s intrusive and distracts us from whatever we’re deeply focused on or thinking about.
However, those we choose to speak to can be sure that our monthly (or annual) phone conversations will be spilling over with plenty of heartfelt talks – and these calls will more than likely last for hours on end. We also take pride in our ability to text messages in the most eloquent manner, which is one of the many signs of an introvert.
3. You Wait to Text Back
When we’re notified that we have a text from a family member or friend, we wait until we’re ready to give it our undivided attention, to read it, and send a thoughtful response. This may take a few minutes or might even take hours, but as mentioned earlier, we prefer texting back to calling to respond.
Unless the sender has sent the message while we’re lost in a vortex of notifications which would need more time and thought put into it. This too must not be taken personally because most of the time we are not adept at starting a conversation or continuing it.
4. You Find Crowds Stressful
Again, this is one of the major signs you are an introvert. Introverts prefer one-on-one time, where it’s more intimate. The connection made in conversation eases our minds and the flow of topics seems even more effortless when our audience is at a minimum.
If spending time around a lot of people is inevitable, we can’t wait to go home and recharge our social batteries. You feel all drained by the overflowing social energy. So, in social gatherings, we mostly fake a smile here and there, hasten through small talk and hurry back home as soon as possible.
5. You’re Not Asocial; You’re Selectively Social
As an introvert, we find it difficult to meet people we prefer and feel comfortable with. We don’t get energized so easily by the people around us, and most of the time, it takes us a little longer than others to warm up to someone. This means that the ice breakers are going to have to thaw through a thick layer of ice.
We don’t invest our energy in people we’re not completely interested in, so we choose to connect to them at a deeper level before we get too close. That said, when we finally build that special connection, we are interested in getting to know that person better, it’s kind of mind-blowing!
6. You Enjoy Being Out With a Group of People, In Small Doses
Every once in a while we like to go out with a group of people and have a great time. Especially if the people in the group are friends with whom you have extremely intimate connections. It could be a party, networking event, or a huge concert. But once that’s done and over, it may take days, weeks, or even months, to completely recharge your social batteries and feel ready to do it again.
If we ever force ourselves into such a gathering without recharging ourselves, we tend to shut down and it’s harder to make a solid connection or simply have a good time. So, recharging our social batteries is essential for us to get back to our small doses of social interaction.
Related: 17 Signs You Are Introverted
7. You Are Extremely Observant and Mindful of Your Surroundings
This is one of the most common introvert signs. Introverts tend to be very sensitive to their surroundings; our ability and potential for mindful observation of the surroundings, and absorbing strings of stimuli through our senses are very remarkable.
We take note of the small details that we observe and we might even slip our observations into the conversation, impressing the ones around us. One of the many signs of an introvert that you can be proud of.
We enjoy getting to really know what the people around us are really about. Therefore, people enjoy having us around and quickly grow comfortable opening up to us.
8. You Unlock Your Heart for Only the Most Special of Souls
This is one of the most common signs you are an introvert. We introverts are extremely careful in choosing who we allow seeing our inner self. That is why we are selectively social. We are aware of our innermost being and we are also aware of the people around us and how they might react to us being vulnerable.
Sure, opening up to another individual and being vulnerable is incredibly frightening for us, but it means that we’ve determined the recipient of our affection and attention is worth the risk.
No, this does not mean that we are uptight or stuck up. This just goes to show that we have our guard up to protect our highly sensitive thoughts. That being said, we’re pretty quick in shutting people out when we feel threatened or hurt. We just don’t have the energy for that.
9. You Are Creative
Studies show that introverts are a creative bunch! Not only introverts; extroverts can be creative too. But since they’re not as fond of solitude as we introverts are, they don’t lean toward introspection or focusing in-depth as naturally as introverts do. Another one of the signs of an introvert you can hold your chin up.
Creativity requires a person to have high imaginative powers and calm surroundings to be able to focus. This is only possible with the best friend of introverts – solitude.
10. You Value Deep Listening
One of the biggest signs you are an introvert – you are a great listener. We listen to understand, not simply to respond. If we’re asked for advice, we use our observation and analytical powers to cut out specific solutions for the issue.
The act of listening is our way of showing love and respect, and as such, we deeply appreciate it when those we communicate with recognize that we carefully think through the messages we share. We will always appreciate and respect the same being done for us.
Related: 13 Common Signs You Are An Introvert
11. You Are Highly Introspective
We tend to overanalyze situations that don’t even need to be analyzed at all. It comes naturally to you because of your inclination toward being hyper-vigilant about the surroundings, filtering in minute details. Sometimes, this may take a toll on our thought process and it may take a little more time to get our point across, but regardless, it’s worth the wait.
It may take us a little longer to understand not because we have a slow processing speed, not because we can’t comprehend it, but because we always seek to understand the deeper meanings. The capacity to dig deep into a topic is one of the most resourceful signs of an introvert.
12. You Think Before You Argue
We introverts need to take time to work things out in our heads first, and we hand pick our words with much care. Once we’ve been given the chance to carefully process the issue in our heads, we’ll be able to clearly communicate exactly where we stand with those involved.
We are not impulsive speakers, blurting and blabbering out anything random that comes to our mind or beating around the bush. We are always crisp and specific and get straight to the point.
13. You Are Accused of Flirting with Everybody
Which is pretty funny, considering that it takes time and effort for most introverts to actually warm up to anyone. This misconception is often due to our great listening skills and our mindfulness towards those around us. Our empathetic abilities make us very sensitive to other people’s feelings; we understand them, appreciate them and respect them.
This is one of the signs of an introvert that must not be mistaken as being inviting to other people, instead it’s just us trying to relate to another person’s emotions and feelings.
14. You Enjoy Your Time Alone
This is one of the major signs you are introverted. It may not sound like much fun to everyone, but we introverts not only enjoy our alone time- we need it. It is an absolute necessity for us.
Having some quality ‘me-time’ is the only way for introverts to rejuvenate their tiresome body and soul. We might indulge in a number of solo activities like painting, writing journals, reading books, listening to music, or simply going out for a solitary walk. We enjoy taking our time out from everything else in the world and simply being there for ourselves.
15. You Are Rarely Bored
While our extroverted counterparts turn to others for stimulation, we are constantly working out our lives and dreams in our heads. We are always digging deep inside ourselves to stimulate our minds to kill any form of boredom.
Introverts are deep thinkers and almost always have an inner monologue playing through our minds- it keeps us highly entertained and amused.
16. You Don’t Trust Easily
We take our time to observe and really get to know someone before inviting them into our inner circle because though our circle may be small, we’re only confined to honest and genuine people.
Our socially selective tendencies serve us the energy to really look deep into the intentions and feelings of a potential friend. That is why introverts tend to hang out with like minds just because the connection is built on mutual understanding. Once we have the right people in our life, we don’t hold back and strive to always give the best of ourselves.
17. You Have a Very Small Group of Very Close Friends
Introverts usually don’t enjoy much socializing, as we do not have refined social skills, unlike our counterparts. But unlike extroverts who tend to have a whole list of acquaintances and ‘just friends’, we introverts adore our small group of close friends and confidantes.
We prefer to create and maintain fewer friendships at a much deeper level, over a large group of casual, superfluous connections. This is one of the signs of an introvert that is easily noticeable, although there may be some introverts with a handful of friends that they’ve made over the years especially if they grew up not being situated at one point on the map.
18. You Fiercely Guard Your Personal Space
We value our space and are extremely picky about what we give our attention to and who we let in because the wrong thoughts and people will leave us feeling burned out. Our world of thoughts inside our enriched and powerful mind is our most prized possession. We can go to any heights to protect our overwhelming inner world.
We simply can’t afford to let our most prized possession be tarnished by the words and actions of others that may be inconsiderate to our innermost feelings.
19. You are More Comfortable Expressing Yourself in Writing
Introverts prefer communicating through text and email because it gives us more time and space to clarify our thoughts before putting them into words. Verbal communication is a draining experience for us, so we find it easier to pen our thoughts down on paper. It’s way more enriching an experience for us as it also helps them introspect and express simultaneously.
Also, it’s an activity possible that can be or is to be done in solitude. This is another one of the major signs of an introvert. Many great writers are known to be introverts that spent quality time with paper and pen.
20. You are Great at Getting Stuff Done
Our alone time is packed with brainstorming, outlining, creating blueprints, and putting them all into action! We never give up till the work is done, at its best.
We put a lot of thought into our tasks and we tend to work at them better than our counterparts. This doesn’t necessarily mean that extroverts lack this quality, but due to our mindfulness, we have that extra edge on getting things done.
21. You are a Good Judge of Character
Because we keep to ourselves, we are able to take time and observe the people around us and truly get to know who they are. Introverts pay close attention to nonverbal cues because we know for a fact that words can only tell us so much.
So, we’re usually able to see everyone for who they really are and not just what they appear to be or how they may present themselves at that moment. Our prying eyes and sharp intuition dig deep and go beyond what shows on the surface.
This is one of the signs you are an introvert; you’re very resourceful in professions such as human resources, investigation, and other jobs that require a good judgment of character.
22. You are Great at Making Decisions
Another one of the major introvert signs. Introverts are masters of thinking things through thoroughly, allowing us to gather all necessary information and weigh the pros and cons before making important choices.
Our problem-solving technique is deductive in nature which helps us reach preferable decisions by weighing the pros and cons of bulk of available distinct information.
23. You Retain an Air of Mystery
Let’s be honest, we know there really is nothing mysterious about us, but our tendency to stay just outside the crowd, simply watching and observing, while keeping our emotions and body language in check, makes us seem like we are mysterious. It naturally comes to us and we retain that air of mystery effortlessly.
This is one of the subtle signs you are an introvert.
24. You are A Loyal Friend
We introverts highly value the few close friends that we have. If you’ve been welcomed into an introvert’s inner circle, you can almost be certain you have a loyal ally for life.
Not only do you have friends that you can enjoy life with, but also those that will be there to help you up when you’re down. We will sacrifice the last drop of our blood to save you, no matter what situation we are in.
If you can relate to at least 16 of these signs then you are clearly an introvert. So hold your head up high, fellow introvert, there’s a world out there that needs more people like us. Don’t let your weaknesses diminish the strengths that you’ve been blessed with. Say it with me – introvert and proud.