Many people tend to believe that introversion and shyness are the same concepts, but that is far from the truth. Yes, shyness may be one of the many signs or traits of an introvert, but there’s so much more to an introvert than just being ‘shy’.
All my life I’ve been told that I was shy. I’ve heard it been said so many times that I gradually believed it, until I learned and understood that shyness is the apprehension and discomfort around people in social situations. When I learned that I’m apprehensive of people being around me, l understood why being around too many people for too long always leaves me feeling drained and exhausted.
This makes me selectively social – I am selective of the people I surround myself with. This means that I would prefer a deep yet entertaining conversation with a couple of close friends that I know well, rather than attend a party where I have to entertain strangers with small talk. I personally believe that there is much more quality in the conversation when it is shared between a few individuals who I am comfortable around, as opposed to small and surfaced level chit-chats with people that I don’t really know.
Let me put it this way – I’m not a fan of interacting just for the sake of interacting. I usually have a reason behind every interaction which ultimately grants we a rewarding feeling. It was then that the realization dawned upon me that I wasn’t shy, I was an introvert.
Related : A major sign that you’re an introvert would be how the way in which you process your thoughts. Here’s Why The Introverted Mind Takes Longer To Process Things and How It’s A Good Thing.
If you’ve always thought that you were shy, but you’re not afraid of being around people, check out this list of 24 signs that you are actually an introvert:
1. You Don’t Enjoy Small Talk
Introverts prefer meaningful conversations that amount to some useful discussions. We are deep thinkers and thrive on deep conversations about metaphysics, philosophy of life, ideas, theories and big goals and ideas.
But when small talk is inevitable, we can’t help but try to make the other person feel comfortable with surface level conversations. We’re very good listeners and are naturally in tune with the feelings of others and how they express themselves. More often than not, we find these casual chit-chats gradually turn into deeper and more meaningful conversations.
2. You Have a Love-Hate Relationship With Your Phone
Introverts are not the best at talking over the phone. This should not be taken personally by the receiving end. We stay away from or minimize calls of our dear and close ones too. At times we really hate the phone because it’s intrusive and distracts us from whatever we’re deeply focused on or thinking about.
However, those we choose to speak to can be sure that our monthly (or annual) phone conversations will be spilling over with plenty of heartfelt talks – and these calls will more than likely last for hours on end. We also take pride in our ability to text messages in the most eloquent manner, which is one of the many signs of an introvert.
3. You Wait to Text Back
When we’re notified that we have a text from a family member or friend, we wait until we’re ready to give it our undivided attention, to read it, and send a thoughtful response. This may take a few minutes or might even take hours, but like mentioned earlier, we prefer texting back than calling to respond. Unless the sender has sent the message while we’re lost in a vortex of notifications which would need more time and thought put into it. This too must not be taken personally because most of the time we are not adept at starting a conversation or continuing it.
4. You Find Crowds Stressful
Introverts prefer one-on-one time, where it’s more intimate. The connection made in conversation eases our minds and the flow of topics seems even more effortless when our audience is at a minimum. If spending time around a lot of people is inevitable, we can’t wait to go home and recharge our social batteries. You feel all drained by the overflowing social energy. So, in social gatherings, we mostly fake a smile here and there, hasten through a small talk and hurry back home as soon as possible.
5. You’re Not Asocial; You’re Selectively Social
As an introvert, we find it difficult to meet people we prefer and feel comfortable with. We don’t get energized so easily by the people around us, and most of the time, it takes us a little longer than others to warm up to someone. This means that the ice breakers are going to have to thaw through a thick layer of ice.
We don’t invest our energy on people we’re not completely interested in, so we choose to connect to them at a deeper level before we get too close. That said, when we finally build that special connection, we have an interest in getting to know that person better, it’s kind of mind-blowing!
6. You Enjoy Being Out With a Group of People, In Small Doses
Every once in a while we like to go out with a group of people and have a great time. Especially if the people in the group are friends with whom you have extremely intimate connections. It could be a party, networking event, or a huge concert. But once that’s done and over, it may take days, weeks, or even months, to completely recharge your social batteries and feel ready to do it again.
If we ever force ourselves into such a gathering without recharging ourselves, we tend to shut down and it’s harder to make a solid connection or simply have a good time. So, recharging our social batteries is essential for us to get back to our small doses of social interaction.