Modern dating can be complicated. So how to not get played by a guy? Well, women Who do these 9 things donโt get their heartbroken!
The only way to find love is to date with an open heart. But I know what youโve been through.
Youโre tired of investing time and energy in the wrong men,ย only to end up frustrated, hurt, and empty-handed again and again.ย Youโve worked hard to finally find peace and a sense of happiness in your life.ย And thereโs no way youโre going to let someone come into your life and mess it all up.
And yet โฆ you donโt want to give up on LOVE.
You want to meet the RIGHT man โ someone who makes you feel challenged, inspired, and adored. But youโre scared.
After everything youโve been through, youโre not sure how to date without getting played or wasting valuable time.
How do you put yourself โout thereโย and open up to love,ย but also protect your heart and the peace youโve worked so hard to cultivate in your life?
The answer? Openness coupled with boundaries. Yes, itโs possible!
How To Not Get Played By A Guy? 9 Dating Commandments for Women
1. Avoid guys with obviouslyย low self-esteem.
If he doesnโt love and value himself, he probably canโt love and value you in a healthy way. Guys with low self-esteem are not safe to date.
Find someone with high self-esteem.ย This is so important.
Related: 8 Signs He Has Low Self-Esteem, And Why You Need To Move On
2. Make sure his values regarding family and relationshipsย match yours.
Take a close look at the life he hasย created. Does he have healthy long-lasting relationships with friends and family? Does he have his finances and responsibilities in order?
Does he have a good relationship with the ex and kids? If not, then heโs not safe to date. Make sure his life is running smoothly before you invite him into yours.
3. Donโt accept his bad behavior.
Think about the behaviors that hurt you in past relationships, and write them down.ย Was your ex passive-aggressive, negative, critical, non-communicative, or cold?
If your current beau is repeating some of the same behaviors, ask him to stop.ย If he canโt (or wonโt), move on.ย You deserveย to be treated beautifully.
4. Pay attention to what he DOES (not what he SAYS).
His actions showย thatย he cares about you, more so than his words.
Does he make time for you and stay connected when heโs not with you?ย Does he make promises and then follow through?
A boyfriend whoโs thoughtful, caring, generous, consistent, and kind will someday be a husband whoโs thoughtful, caring, generous, consistent, and kind.
5. Make sure he includes you in all aspects of his life.
Over time, he should start to include you in every aspect of his life, without exception. Heย welcomes you in his home and office.ย He invites you to spend time with his friends and family.ย And heโsย proud to show you off!ย
If heโs excited to have you in his life and wants to include you in every aspect of it, heโs a keeper and safe to date.
6. Be veryย sure heโs INTO you.
If a manโs into you, heโll make you a priority. Heโll ask to spend time with you consistently, and heโll tell you what he likes about you. It means he is safe to date.
You wonโt have to wonder how he feels or wait anxiously for his call.
Bottom line โ if heโs into you, youโll know it.ย And if heโs not, go find someone who is.
Related: 8 Stupid Ways A Guy Acts When He Likes You And What It Might Mean For You
7. Advocate for yourself.
If something is bothering you, tell him.ย If he dismisses your feelings or gets defensive, thatโs a red flag.
Only date someone whoโs able to assess his own behavior and make changes when necessary.ย Date a man who owns up to his mistakes and who values your feelings (and do the same for him).
8. Wait to have sex (the right one will wait!).
Sex is awesome, and Iโm all for it. But when youโre serious about finding โthe oneโ, itโs a good idea to wait. Waiting until youโre in a relationship gives the two of you time to create emotional intimacy first, which is a smart strategy.
If the man youโre dating is genuinely interested in you, heโll wait until youโre ready. If heโs more concerned aboutย sex andย not you, then he doesnโt respect that boundary.
Related: 11 Ways To Spot A Keeper From Player In One Date: Tips From An Expert Celebrity Profiler
9. Make sure you feel relaxed and happy when youโre with him.
If you feel stressed, anxious or have to walk on eggshells when youโre dating, somethingโs wrong and is not safe to date. Trust your gut and keep track of how you feel. If there are more bad days than good ones, it might be time to move on.
When youโre in the RIGHT relationship, youโll feel happy, relaxed and comfortable.ย I hear this from happy couples all the time!
With strong boundaries and high expectations, youโll know when itโs safe toย open your heart.ย And when youโre all in โ whenย youโreย authentic, generous,ย warm and loving โ thatโs when LOVEย will show up.ย Thatโs when the magic will happen.
Michelle Jacoby is an award-winning matchmaker andย datingย coach. To discover the mistakes that will kill your chances of finding love, download Michelleโs FREE ebookย โThe 12 Mistakes That Will Kill Your Chances Of Finding Mr. Rightโ.
Originally appeared on Your tango
Reprinted with permission from the author
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