Learning to receive feedback is an essential part of developing yourself as a leader and as a person. This post covers three things that you need to do to enhance your feedback receiving ability.
Many of us say we want feedbackโฆ but do we really?
Do we really want someone to point out our flaws and limitations?
Do we want to be embarrassed about our ineffectiveness and inefficiencies?
If we care about growth and personal development we do, but receiving feedback can hurt. And thatโs why itโs so important to be good at receiving and responding in a professional manner.
Here are 3 tips to jumpstart your feedback receiving ability.
Tip 1: Minimize Defensiveness.
Even if you donโt agree with the feedbackโโโor think you donโt agree, it doesnโt help in the moment to be defensive. In fact, itโs counter-productive. Take an analytical, instead of emotional approach, and thin of the feedback as a โdata pointโ about one personโs impression of you.
And while youโre doing this, make sure youโre really listening and processing. Summarize and reflect back what you say. And if negative emotions seem to be getting in the way, do what you can to suppress them in the moment.
Related: How To Stop Getting Defensive When Triggered: 5 Tips
Tip 2: Take A Step Back.
Try not to respond immediately, even if thatโs your impulse. Take time to process the feedback. Run it by close colleagues or friends. Make a list of things you agree with; things you need more clarity on; and things you actually donโt agree with.
And only once youโve done this homework, and are in a more โrationalโ mood, does it make sense to re-engage with the original person. Otherwise, you likely wonโt make the most of this key self-improvement opportunity.
Related: How To Respond Gracefully To Destructive Criticism: 6 Tips
Tip 3: Evaluate The Evaluator.
This was actually a piece of advice my grandfather often gave, and I think heโs right. Just because someone offers you feedback doesnโt mean that itโs correct. Sometimes feedback is off-base, or a person has a particular agenda in delivering it.
So as part of your vetting process, make sure to evaluate the evaluator, and incorporate that into your sense-making process.
In the end, learning to receive feedback well is a critical part of developing yourself as a leader. But unless you take a step back, minimize defensiveness, and evaluate the evaluator, you can miss a great chance for self-improvement.
Written by: Andy Molinsky Originally published at medium.com Republished with permission
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