Relationships, no matter how strong, are brittle. Sometimes the times get rough and it hits us hard. And in those hard moments, what we need is someone who clutch to our hands tight, someone who will be there with you through the storms of life.
Falling head over heels for someone takes a minute or less and that is easy, what is difficult is staying in love, the commitment to forever be with them.
When times aren’t easy we tend to become selfish, as they say when the chips are down, nothing works I your favor.
Even in the strongest relationships, there will be difficulties and problem at some time, it’s just the question of when. We cannot avoid that but when the ball is in our court it’s we who decide how to play it. So preparation in advance can save a lot of emotional disasters.
When the chips are down, don’t let the situation take control of you. You need to patient and understand that times are hard for both of you, let yourself in your partner’s shoe and try to see what they see. Treat them like you would want to be treated in these moments.
It’s easier said than done, but if that love means anything to us we need to put on the efforts to save it. When times are hard, when one partner loses his job or there is some grief in the family, when things are falling apart, it’s really difficult to hold on. Nevertheless, we need to.
How to hold on when your love is falling apart?
1. Effective Communication
In any relationship communication is the key, key to both enter and exit the door. You must communicate effectively to save your ship from sinking during the storms of life which have your relationship in the hold. Communication requires attention and efforts, there are few things we need to keep in mind while communicating if we are to hold on and not let our relationship fall apart
Listen to what your partner has to say, ignore their tone and expression. They are going through hard times and are in turmoil of fear, anger and a lot of other vices and virtues. Listen to their cry of help behind the loud voices, maybe they are seeking for appreciation.
Listen to understand what they have to say, they might even ask you a question but they don’t really need an answer, they need you to understand them, the situation they are going through. You don’t need to counter or defend, just listen to them and when they are done, you can take your turn. Be respectful while they talk, listen to them with attention and ask questions to clarify things.
2. Be realistic when the time calls
I prefer to be hopeless romantic over being a realist in any normal circumstances but when the winds are rough and time is really tough we need to see the world with realistic lenses.
At difficult times your partner cannot fulfill their responsibility, there may be financial instability or physical illness. In times like this, you need to be together and divide the responsibilities. The times are hard and have changed but remember the love you once had for each other is still the same. Keep holding on to it and don’t let the hard times tear it down.
3. Forgive without an apology and be patience