I am feeling so very humbled and blessed as once again I witness and feel the Presence of the Divine working in my life.
As the glorious Cosmic Christ Energy Consciousness continues to pour forth upon us all without exception, like many, I have been faced with several challenges since the beginning of this year as the remnants of old structures within and without rapidly dismantle.
One by one I have dealt with them. Because I have the tools, insight and
I know how to do it. This is my job and I am grateful.
This month I was faced with something that I thought was transmuted long ago.
Shadow is a tricky one, it lurks in the unconscious mind and it only emerges when it is nudged into the light of day by a similar frequency of energy.
The issue is around hierarchy and my disdain for this as the cause of many of the troubles of our planet, both in the fields of organized religion and the world of corporate business at the macro level, and has been active in my own life as a former Catholic and former business woman at the micro level.
I have written much about hierarchy, which at the level of personal expression says “I am better (stronger, bigger, cleverer, more experienced, more spiritual, more beautiful, more handsome, more intelligent and so on ) than you. “I know better than you” “I know more than you” and, “by the way, its my way or the highway” “ I am right “ “this is what we will do” and “I will control you “
It compares and competes and has nothing to do with unity consciousness.
Not all expressions of hierarchy are as overt as this. It is usually very well hidden either under a façade of grandiosity and superiority or inauthentic sweetness and light, but nevertheless this is what it comes down to when the chips are down.
Consciously I am so far away from this type of thought and behavior and I have done much work on this particular character structure. Yet several weeks ago I noticed a dip in my energy frequency and I recalled a meeting I had where, in my dealings with another, I behaved in a narcissistic way … and there it was, another piece of the collective shadow. Hidden away so carefully and not arisen for many, many years since my “monster days” in corporate business.
I was deeply shocked and then went into such sadness and shame around having behaved in such an unconscious way. It is unpleasant to learn we harbor a potential discordancy that is not life affirming. It takes courage and vulnerability to admit the truth.
To accept this in myself was huge for me. Having done all the work I have done over the years it made it even harder to accept (spiritual ego). The higher egoic self is a part of our consciousness that is even more entrenched than the ordinary lower egoic self because it is operating at a higher frequency.
But fortunately I know my work and through Divine Grace know that when these patterns arise it means there is still a piece of consciousness within that is not integrated fully into the psyche – (Embodied)
This inhibits the full emergence of our Divine Presence and full Embodiment of the Presence.
These pieces of us that are not integrated are child consciousness and are usually a result of early inadequate mirroring-
If you are in physical form and here now, you carry some of these early distorted developmental patterns due to your connection to the morphogenetic field of our species and early childhood conditioning. Age has nothing to do with this. Nor how many times you have incarnated.
All children need to be truly seen and heard, to be acknowledged, to be loved unconditionally exactly as they are without having to turn into something else to receive love, (objectified), to not have to be a perfect fit of the caregivers perceived ideal of perfection, (a child is already perfect) but to just BE.
When this mirroring is inadequate, the narcissist is born. To lesser and greater degrees, it is comparing and competing; self esteem is low so that it requires constant external validation of acknowledgement; in relationship there is a continual and repeated search outside the self for other who will fill the self: it always needs to be either seen and heard because if it is not “special”, it perceives its “ordinariness” is not worthy of love; or is afraid to be seen and heard in case it is not enough/good enough and is rejected. And of course the most insidious trait that finally emerges is the inability to fully “see” another as the Divine Being they truly are because there has been no early modeling of this for them.