Cheating on your partner is a despicable thing to do, and if you cheat on your partner, you donโt love them. Getting cheated on is one of the worst feelings ever, and no doubt, extremely painful.
If you cheat on your partner, you do not love your partner. End of story. I never really gave much thought to cheating growing up. I knew what it wasย but because it was something that was never close to me, it simply wasnโt on my radar. In my mind, it was something you see in movies,ย something to give what might have been a mundane plot, a bit of a twist. Butย as we all know, movies and reality are two different beasts entirely.
Then when I was about 11 years old, my motherโs best friend, M, got divorced. Because I was close friends with her daughter, I was told that when her mom sat her and her brothers down to explain why their dad was leaving, it was because he loved his secretary instead.
I didnโt realizeย at the timeย how much of a clichรฉ it wasย but what I was able to deduce was that he had cheated. It took him all of one month to get remarried after the divorce was final. Although I wouldnโt get the particulars until years later, that was my first introduction to cheating.
Related: Why Do Cheating Husbands Stay Married
When my own husband cheated, I reached out to my momโs best friend. Now that I was an adult, I could talk to her about itย because weโre both victims of a clichรฉ: She was left for her husbandโs secretary and I was left for a childโฆ er, I mean a 20-year-old (which, to be honest, isย a child since my husband is 48 and has an 18-year-old daughter from a previous relationship).
During that discussion, I was finally really able to see just how much of a betrayal cheating is. In my case, I was fortunate enough to not have children with my husband, but M wasnโt so lucky. She had had three children with hers, the youngest being just a baby when he told her he didnโt love her and walked out. And just as my husband tried to justify his own actions, Mโs husband did the same.
It was the same bullsh*t of โI used to love you, but now I found this person whom I love better and love more.โ Or as it was in my case, โI thought you were my soulmate, but B is my actual soulmate because we both love The Beatles and have the same birthday.โ
Ah, the babbling rationale of a 48-year-old man whoโs going through a midlife crisis.
But what I came to realize through all the tears, the drama, and the piles of sh*t ย I sent through the mail to him is this: My husband never loved me. If you love someone, you donโt cheat on them. End of story.
Call me crazy, but I think there are a lot of components in love. If you genuinely love someone, you respect them, for starters. You also emotionally support them, give them a high-five when they do something great, care for them when theyโre sick in bed with the flu, stand by them when things get scary, hold their hand when they need you, and look toward to the future together as a partnership. Thatโs what love is.
So when you cheat on your spouse, youโre cheating on all of that. Youโre betraying everyย single one of those components and essentially making a mockery of what you once dared to call love
If you cheat, what youโve really done is said, โI donโt love you. I never loved you. I never respected you. I never cared for you. All of this was a lie.โ
And thatโs fine. If you want to erase your past, admitting it was a lie โ which is exactly what you do when you cheat โ then thatโs your prerogative. It makes you an assh*le, a no-good liar, a cheater, and a thief, but youโre entitled to be the person you want to be.
Just donโt try to tell anyone that you love or ever loved your spouseย if you cheat on them. Youโre not only insulting your spouse and the history you had with themย but youโre insulting yourself, too. Andย if youโre a cheater, thereโs a huge part of you that thinks youโre right, so why would you want to insult yourself?
If youโre anything like Mโs husband or my husband, youโre just the innocent victim in all this, right? A victim of love, so to speak.
Related: Iโm Sorry You Loved Somebody So Toxic For Your Soul
Well, weโll take care of the insulting of you for you. And itโs definitely NSFW, so Iโll let you, dear cheaters, fill in the blanks.
Want to know more about what happens when you cheat on your partner? Check this video out below!
Written by Amanda Chatel
This article has been republished from Yourtango.com, click here to view the original copy.
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