Do you feel like you are the only one putting in the effort in your relationship? Like youโre being taken for granted? It could be that you are begging for love from your significant other. Itโs okay to crave love and attention; it is only natural. But when that craving becomes a desperate plea for affection, we have a problem.
But why do we beg for love? The truth is, it often happens without us even realizing it. Our need to feel loved and appreciated can become so powerful that it leads us to compromise our own well-being. The good news is that once we become aware of these patterns, we can take steps to restore balance in our relationships.
So, today weโll explore some key signs that you are begging for love, whether youโre aware of it or not. By identifying these patterns, you can start to reclaim your sense of self and form healthier and more fulfilling connections.
Signs You Are Begging For Love โ
If someone truly loves you, you will know, youโll never have to beg for their affection. If you find yourself constantly trying to get their attention and affection, something is definitely not right. Take a look at these signs and if you relate to any or all of them, this is your cue to do what needs to be done.
1. You let them get away with mistreating you
If you notice yourself brushing off hurtful actions just to keep the peace or find yourself making excuses for their behavior, convincing yourself itโs not a big deal, there might be something wrong. Letting someone get away with mistreating you is a clear sign you might be begging for love.
Sometimes we tolerate being treated poorly by those we love because weโre afraid of losing them. We cling to the hope that things will get better. But ask yourself this โ is a relationship truly worth it if it means sacrificing your self-respect and happiness? If youโre constantly forgiving mistreatment, itโs time to reflect on whether this is the love you deserve.
2. You avoid conflicts and keep apologizing
You know those moments when you find yourself constantly dodging conflicts, always being the first to say sorry, even when itโs not your fault? Itโs like youโre walking on eggshells, afraid that any disagreement might push them away. If this sounds familiar, you might be begging for love without even realizing it.
But why do we do this? Why do we apologize for things we didnโt even do wrong? Maybe itโs because weโre so afraid of losing them that weโre willing to swallow our pride and ignore our own feelings. But sadly, constantly avoiding conflicts and saying sorry just to keep the peace isnโt sustainable. Itโs like putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. And whatever you do, it is not going to stop them from leaving. You are only demeaning yourself when you beg for their love and affection.
3. You feel like you are the only one trying in a relationship
If you start feeling like youโre the only one putting in the effort in a relationship, itโs like this heavy weight on your shoulders, it might be a sign that you are begging for love.
Youโre constantly trying to keep things together, to make it work, but it feels like youโre the only one rowing the boat. Itโs tough because you want that connection, that mutual effort, but instead, itโs like youโre begging for scraps of affection or attention.
The worst thing is, you know that your partner will not take the initiative if you donโt. And in those moments, itโs hard not to feel like maybe youโre just not worth the effort. But listen, you are absolutely worth the effort and the right person wonโt even make you question this.
4. You are clingy and need constant validation
Sometimes you might find yourself clinging to every compliment, every action, just hoping for that reassurance that youโre loved and wanted. Itโs like you canโt shake off this feeling of insecurity, if they donโt tell you they love you a hundred times a day, you start to doubt if they even do. And letโs be real, itโs exhausting for both you and them. They might feel suffocated, and you, well, you just feel like youโre on this emotional rollercoaster, always needing that next hit of validation to feel okay.
But hereโs the thing, you shouldnโt have to rely on someone else to feel whole. Youโre amazing just the way you are, and the right person will see that without you having to constantly cling to them for validation.
5. You violate your own boundaries
Sometimes we are so scared of losing the other person is we pull all the stops to save the relationship, to make them stay, even if it sometimes means violating our boundaries. You find yourself saying yes to things youโre not comfortable with, or putting up with behavior that you know deep down isnโt right for you. Itโs like youโre sacrificing pieces of yourself just to keep someone else around, even if it means youโre left feeling hollow inside.
But hereโs the deal, your boundaries are there for a reason. Theyโre like your personal safety net, protecting you from harm and guiding you towards whatโs best for you. So donโt ignore them for the sake of someone elseโs affection. The right one will respect your boundaries and love you for who you truly are, without asking you to compromise your values or your self-respect.
6. You are always available
Yes, we all make time for people we love. But, this does not mean that you have to be constantly on standby, just waiting for that text or call. You do not have to always change your schedule to be with your partner. It shows that you are always available, leading them to take you for granted.
And I get it, we all want to be there for the people we care about, but when it becomes a pattern of dropping everything at a momentโs notice, maybe itโs a sign youโre begging for love.
I mean, you shouldnโt have to sacrifice your time and priorities all the time, right? You do not have to put your life on hold, hoping your partner will notice and reciprocate the same level of commitment. Trust me, this is not how it is supposed to be.
7. You have lost yourself in the relationship
When was the last time you did something just for you? If you have to think long enough, it may be a bitter pill to swallow, but this is a sign you are begging for love from your partner. If itโs all about them, their likes, their dislikes, their dreams, and youโre just sort of there nodding along, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but thatโs a huge red flag.
Donโt get me wrong, compromise is key in any relationship, but when you find yourself forgetting your own hopes and dreams because youโre too focused on theirs, thatโs when it becomes a problem.
You are supposed to complement each other, not become each otherโs shadows. So, maybe itโs time to take a step back, find that missing piece of yourself, and remember that youโre a whole person too, not just half of a couple.
Final Thoughts
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. But it should not come at the expense of your mental and emotional well-being. It should not feel like you have to walk on eggshells around the person you love or sacrifice your self-respect just to make them stay. If it has come to this, it means you are in the wrong relationship. The right person will never make you work for their attention, it will come naturally to them.
How do I stop begging for love?
To stop begging for love, you should start focusing on yourself. Put the energy and time you spend pleasing your partner into building your self-esteem, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing your needs and happiness. Surround yourself with supportive people and engage in activities that make you feel valued and fulfilled. Remember, you deserve love that comes naturally and effortlessly.
Is begging for love bad in a relationship?
In short, yes. If you had a healthy relationship, you would not be wondering this. If the other person does not want to stay, nothing you do will change their mind. So, you might as well preserve your self-respect. And even if they choose to stay, if things do not go their way, they will eventually resent you for forcing them to stay.
Why do I feel desperate for love?
Feeling desperate for love often stems from low self-esteem, a fear of being alone, or unmet emotional needs from the past. It can also be influenced by societal pressure to be in a relationship. Addressing these underlying issues can help you feel more secure and less desperate for love.
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