In a new column, Bethany Mandel, a conservative author, urges people to treat dating as a job interview for marriage.
People should not treat dating lightly, but instead take it as an approach that demands upfront communication about their future plans such as whether they are dating seriously for marriage or not, whether this dating thing is all about casual relationships, or whether is it dating beyond casual relationships.
The tragic divorce of Hollywood couple Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello serves as an example, where their split appeared to be related, in part, to their differing desires on the crucial issue of having children.
Manganiello, who is 46 years old, wished to be a father, while Vergara, who is five years his senior, already had a son from a previous marriage and had been involved in a custody battle over frozen embryos from IVF treatment in 2013.
Consider Dating As A Job Interview For Marriage For A Happy Relationship
Mandel emphasizes that a successful marriage involves more than just love, respect, trust, and laughter; it is a lifelong partnership, and dating should be approached not as a mere source of fun, but it should be dating as a job interview for marriage – the most crucial role one will ever have.
Bethany Mandel highlighted a column authored by Bianca Turetsky. Turetsky shared her personal experience of freezing her eggs and incurring significant expenses to store them, despite knowing that she would likely never become a mother due to her husband’s reluctance to have kids.
Turetsky mentioned that her former boyfriend, who already had children, took years to finally admit that he didn’t want more, leaving her heartbroken. In her column, Turetsky reflected on the realization that growing up entails understanding that one cannot have everything they desire. However, Mandel outright rejected this notion.
Read more here: 5 Signs Your Casual Dating Is Moving Towards Serious Love
According to Mandel, Turetsky deserved more than just settling for such a situation. She believed that Turetsky deserved a partner who wouldn’t merely support her in freezing her eggs through IVF injections, but someone who was genuinely dating beyond casual relationships had intentions of long-term commitment, and wanted to have children with her.
Mandel emphasized that when Turetsky and, possibly, Manganiello chose to marry individuals with fundamentally different life goals, they essentially accepted these challenging circumstances.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that their spouses were wrong; they were merely incompatible in terms of their desires. However, Mandel added that perhaps, in some sense, their spouses were also mistaken.
Mandel Shares Her Past Relationship Experience
In the context of dating as a job interview for marriage, Mandel shared a past relationship experience where she was involved with someone who quickly recognized that their life paths did not align. They both moved on and are now contentedly married to other individuals – he with two children and her with six.
Read more here: The 7 Elements That Define An Intimate Relationship
Mandel has frequently written about the joys and hurdles of managing her sizable family, which, at times, draws impolite comments from strangers and political adversaries.
In her account, Mandel highlighted that the person she was previously involved with realized early on that they had different visions for their lives and they are dating seriously for marriage.
As a result, they decided to part ways amicably and pursued separate paths. Today, they have both found happiness in their respective marriages, with him having two children, and she raising a family of six.
Mandel is known for discussing the rewards and challenges of having a large family through her writings. She often encounters unpleasant remarks from strangers and political opponents who criticize her family’s size, but this has not deterred her from embracing the joy that her family brings to her life.
Overall, Mandel’s personal experience emphasizes the significance of acknowledging and respecting differences in life goals and plans when it comes to relationships. It demonstrates the importance of making thoughtful decisions during dating as you will be dating seriously for marriage, it is a process to avoid potential conflicts and find long-term commitment with a partner.
Additionally, her courage in discussing her family’s journey showcases her resilience in the face of criticism and her commitment to cherishing the blessings of her chosen path.
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