How To Be Great At Receiving Feedback: 3 Tips

Learning to receive feedback is an essential part of developing yourself as a leader and as a person. This post covers three things that you need to do to enhance your feedback receiving ability.

Many of us say we want feedbackโ€ฆ but do we really?
Do we really want someone to point out our flaws and limitations?
Do we want to be embarrassed about our ineffectiveness and inefficiencies?

If we care about growth and personal development we do, but receiving feedback can hurt. And thatโ€™s why itโ€™s so important to be good at receiving and responding in a professional manner.

Here are 3 tips to jumpstart your feedback receiving ability.

Tip 1: Minimize Defensiveness.

Even if you donโ€™t agree with the feedbackโ€Šโ€”โ€Šor think you donโ€™t agree, it doesnโ€™t help in the moment to be defensive. In fact, itโ€™s counter-productive. Take an analytical, instead of emotional approach, and thin of the feedback as a โ€œdata pointโ€ about one personโ€™s impression of you.

And while youโ€™re doing this, make sure youโ€™re really listening and processing. Summarize and reflect back what you say. And if negative emotions seem to be getting in the way, do what you can to suppress them in the moment.

don't defend when you get feedback on your drawbacks

Related: How To Stop Getting Defensive When Triggered: 5 Tips


Tip 2: Take A Step Back.

Try not to respond immediately, even if thatโ€™s your impulse. Take time to process the feedback. Run it by close colleagues or friends. Make a list of things you agree with; things you need more clarity on; and things you actually donโ€™t agree with.

And only once youโ€™ve done this homework, and are in a more โ€œrationalโ€ mood, does it make sense to re-engage with the original person. Otherwise, you likely wonโ€™t make the most of this key self-improvement opportunity.

Related: How To Respond Gracefully To Destructive Criticism: 6 Tips


Tip 3: Evaluate The Evaluator.

This was actually a piece of advice my grandfather often gave, and I think heโ€™s right. Just because someone offers you feedback doesnโ€™t mean that itโ€™s correct. Sometimes feedback is off-base, or a person has a particular agenda in delivering it.

So as part of your vetting process, make sure to evaluate the evaluator, and incorporate that into your sense-making process.

In the end, learning to receive feedback well is a critical part of developing yourself as a leader. But unless you take a step back, minimize defensiveness, and evaluate the evaluator, you can miss a great chance for self-improvement.


Written by: Andy Molinsky 
Originally published at medium.com
Republished with permission
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We have all received punishment