What to do before she moves in?
Itโs interesting, there seems to be a lot of talk around Valentineโs Day of couples moving in together. Is that the gift that special person in your life is looking for?
I want to talk about moving in together because I have lived with quite a number of women, and Iโve got to tell you something: I was that guy that would move them in a little too quickly. And if I really followed a set of guidelines, I probably would have never moved in with any of them!
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Youโve got to know the right time to move them in. Letโs talk about a couple of things. Letโs call this:
The 3 Key Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before They Move In
Thing #1: You need to know exactly how they like to keep the house.
One of the things you need to do before you move in with somebody is to go to their house often and look around. Are they clean, are they neat, are their piles of clothes, is everything hidden in the closets? How do they like to live, what are their sleeping habits, what are their morning habits?
You want to know about all their habits ahead of time because if youโre Mrs. Neat Freak and heโs Mr. Messy, itโs going to cause fights moving forward.
Now thatโs what I consider a very superficial thing that you can work through. The next two become more I would say life-changing.
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Thing #2: What are their television habits?
Yeah, I know, is that life-changing? Youโre probably thinking that thereโs no way in the world television habits can be life-changing, but they actually are. If you move in with a TV-aholic, and youโre not a TV-aholic, itโs going to drive you crazy. Itโs going to make you see red 24-7.
So you need to get an idea of what their favorite shows are, how often they like to watch TV, and if theyโre TV watchers before they go to sleep.
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A client of mine never liked TV before she went to sleep. When they were just dating, her boyfriend never put the TV on before they went to sleep. When he moved in, that habit kind of crawled in there and it drove her bananas! She had to buy earplugs because he couldnโt fall asleep with TV and she couldnโt fall asleep without TV. So either one was having insomnia and cursing the other one out, or the other one was having insomnia and cursing the other one out.
Not life-changing enough? Okay, letโs go to the big thing.
Thing #3: Do you share the same views on life, kids, money, finances, your future, where you want to live, etc.?
These are the things we never like to talk about when weโre in the beginning stages of a relationship. Yet, these are the most important issues to talk about.
Iโm sure when youโre reading the others, you were thinking, โGeez, David, those other things are so superficial, I can live with that.โ And Iโm sure you can, but you canโt live with somebody who wants to move to the country when youโre a city person. Or you can live with someone whoโs idea of raising children means taking them to the zoo every morning when you would rather stay home with them and read quietly.
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Talk about kids, how you want to raise them, what your beliefs are, religion, everything. Talk it all out because itโs better to find this stuff out in the beginning than right before youโre packing your bags or being asked to not be home for a few hours while they move out.
Watch out this interesting video on when to move in together:
Take it from me, guys. Discuss these three key issues and youโll be in a friction-free relationship and home!
What else do you prefer to discuss before she moves in? Leave a comment below.
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Written by David Wygant
Originally appeared on DavidWygant.com
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