There are 5 emotions that can cause you pain, and immensely at that. Don’t let these emotions sabotage your success and happiness. Emotions and feelings are an important part of life, and without them, human beings will be no different than stones. Love, care, affection, trust, support- all of these are vital emotions and are hallmarks for living a happy life. However, being over-emotional can also lead to more problems for you.
How To Regain Control Over The 5 Emotions Most Likely To Cause You Pain
There is a list of feelings we all experience that can stop happiness and success in their tracks and present a danger to your life.
When you don’t work to control your emotions, left to their own devices, these certain emotions are like a speeding train without a conductor.
They are ready to de-rail every goal you have set for yourself, whether the goal is financial success, a healthy mind and body, losing weight, quitting drinking, or having a happy marriage.
The good news is when you shine some light on their darkness, you can take your power back as quickly as the blazing sun can soak up the remains of a torrential summer shower.
If you want to know how to be happy in life and successful in what you achieve to do, you need to stop running away from those painful emotions and, instead, face them with the courage you have at your core.
Read Emotional Muscle Memory: How To Release Painful Emotions Trapped In Your Body
Here’s the list of feelings that stop you from being happy — and how to take control of them.
1. Fear
What causes fear? The feeling of being out of control.
Ultimately, we experience fear because the truth is we don’t have control. None of us knows when our death day is coming.
Subconsciously, it may seem that if you distract yourself enough with food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, socializing, working, or surfing the net, you can avoid the awful nagging fear that your life will inevitably end.
“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” -Nelson Mandela
But living this way prevents you not only from experiencing true happiness but also from achieving a much higher potential within yourself.
The antidote to fear is faith — faith that even though you will die, your life really matters and contains great meaning.
2. Anger
Anger is such a difficult emotion and causes so much internal anguish.
Think about how you feel when you are angry. Chances are you are clenching some part of your body. Maybe your fists, jaw, or belly are constricted and tense. Your breathing is most likely shallow and labored. And your thoughts are replaying an event or scenario that is deeply painful to you.
Perhaps you feel betrayed, cheated, or disrespected.
The antidote for anger is compassion. How hard it is to be you right now? Expand your awareness and realize it’s not just you. It’s difficult to be human, in general.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. – Buddha
Even your perpetrator — the one who disappointed or betrayed you — has great pain and insecurity, no matter how arrogant and smug they may appear on the outside.
Be generous with yourself and send yourself compassion. Remember you are not alone, even if your feelings tell you that you are.
3. Jealousy
When you’re feeling jealous, your ego is convinced that someone has more than you, and it’s not fair.
Does the object of your jealousy appear to be smarter, happier, or more beautiful? Are they graced with greater wealth, love, and abundance than you?
If so, realize that nothing is as it appears. Happy people go through emotional moments, too. Though life is surely not fair, we all cycle in and out of abundance in friendship, love, wealth, and success.
Each of us will lose our youth. Each of us will experience other losses as well.
Coveting someone else’s good fortune only diminishes your awareness of the blessings in your own life.
Perhaps, your jealous reaction stems from feeling a lack of attention. Is the one you love focused on someone other than you?
“Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul.” – John Dryden
The antidote to jealousy is cultivating a grateful heart and patience. It’s true that you may not have the attention, wealth, youth, love or success you desire, at this moment.
But that doesn’t mean you won’t have it in the future.
In the meantime, by focusing on the gifts that you do have — whether that be a beautiful home or loving friends — you can start to feel gratitude for the wonderful life that you do have while accepting what you don’t appear to have, at this moment.
4. Sadness
Being happy doesn’t mean you don’t feel sad. At the core of each person is a wound and this wound is a combination of sadness and loneliness.
It can be so painful that it’s no wonder that most people will do anything to distract themselves from feeling the intensity of this grief.
Why is this deep sadness present? It’s due to the illusion that we are separate — cut off from our greater nature.
All the crazy happenings in this physical world only exacerbate this loneliness and sense of isolation. It takes a lot of food, alcohol, and spending to cover up this pain!
“You either get bitter, or you get better. You either take what’s been dealt with you and allow it to make you better, or you allow it to tear you down.”
Read 15 Art Therapy Exercises to Control Your Mind and Channel Your Emotions
The antidote to this deep sadness within, believe it or not, is feeling it. That’s right, and to do that you must summon up all your courage. Sit with the sadness, while at the same time calling on your deepest connection to what’s sacred within yourself and all around you.
Bow your head and, with the deepest humility, ask or pray for the Divine to surround you in the higher light and eternal love, as you sit with the sadness.
The antidote to deep sadness is the courage to sit with your wound while inviting your higher consciousness and deeper wisdom to bathe you in truth — beyond what your conscious mind is perceiving.
5. Shame
Shame is the most toxic of human emotion. Nothing is worse for most people than feeling ashamed, embarrassed or humiliated. It’s an emotion that makes you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom.
In some religions, shaming someone or taking away their dignity is considered to be like murdering them.
In the Sufi way, the greatest gift you can give someone is to erase their mistakes in your own mind and to see them purely as if their unwholesome behaviors never happened.
Isn’t that what you would like for yourself?
The antidote to shame is to realize that this human pain exists in all people. Bathe yourself in divine love by calling it to you and opening your heart completely.
To release yourself from shame, release everyone else, too. Know that your mistake ultimately strengthened you and is making you a better, wiser and stronger person.
“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” ― Brene Brown
This life journey is not about acquiring more things, but rather uplifting your own consciousness and transcending every emotion and experience that has held you back, real or imagined, past, present, or future.
Read What Is Toxic Shame and How it Differs From Ordinary Shame
Self-hypnosis is taking control of your thoughts and feelings to create the life that you deserve.
So, if you want to learn how to find happiness in your life, it’s time to take the necessary steps.
Create a vision of how you want your life to be. Take a deep breath. See it. Feel it. Give thanks for it.
Emotion is energy in motion and beyond every emotion is a field of infinite presence. Bask in this field, consciously release all toxic emotion, and claim your higher destiny.
Written By Rena Greenberg
Originally Appeared On Your Tango
Emotions are what make us feel and appreciate the meaningful things in life. But, being too sentimental is also not the answer. Being in touch with your emotions, and controlling the 5 emotions that can cause you pain, at the same time is what differentiates a strong person from a weak one.
If you want to know more about dealing with emotions that can cause you pain, watch this video:
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