2 Questions To Know, If He/She Is The ‘ONE’ For You

Ask These 2 Questions To Know, If He/She Is The ‘ONE’ For You

The One. The one. Is there a One?

And if there is how will I know? And what if I’m wrong? And what if there’s really two or three or…

We, humans, complicate things so. There are many animals who mate for life and don’t lose sleep trying to figure out if their mate is the only one. Wolves for example. And coyotes, those wild nocturnal maniacs—yes, they have it all figured out.

Owls, beavers, eagles, swans, cranes, pigeons, hawks, ospreys, geese and some apes are a few more. My guess is that they don’t spend 10 minutes asking themselves if they have made the right choice or if something better awaits them right around the next corner.

Questions

They just know.

For years I have seen articles that describe in great detail how to know if our beloved is the one. I have read articles and books that strongly suggest that if I answer, “No” to any of their questions I might be in the wrong relationship. Books that ask hundreds of questions and no matter how you answer them you put the book down feeling like you just ate rotten fish and wondering what you ever saw in this person you love anyway.

We talk to friends and therapists and priests and experts. We take quizzes online and haunt the self-help aisles in bookstores and libraries. We look for “signs” and ask question after question.

Does she make you feel…?

Does he say…?

Does he have…?

Does she give you…?

Can he read your mind?

Do you speak the same love language?

And oh my God, what do you mean he forgot your birthday?

It really is so much more simple than all of that and it all boils down to two very simple questions.

Question 1. Do I love this person?

Not, is this person hot or sexy or fun; not, do I enjoy this person; not, are we compatible; not, is it a good idea— but, do I really and truly love this person? Would I give them half of my paycheck, the last bite, my car or…a kidney? Is it that kind of love?

If the answer is yes then you’re already more than halfway there. Real love is the motivation for growth and understanding and compassion. Real love drives us to be better people who rise above petty difficulties and fleeting emotions. People who do whatever it takes to nurture what we hold dear, kidney donation, or not.

Question 2. Are both my life and my partner’s life better because of our relationship?

Sit back, put your feet up, close your eyes, imagine your life without your beloved, and ask yourself: How would I live without this person? How would I feel? How would I spend my time? Would I feel full? Would I feel empty? Would I sleep well or would I lie awake longing?

Who would I confide in? Who would I spend my time with? Who would lift me up when I am down? Who would be my rock? Is my love my best friend? What would I do on Saturday night or Tuesday afternoon or every day for the rest of my life if this person disappeared from my world?

A thousand questions could follow and we should be mindful of how we would answer them but not get too caught up in the details. We need to keep it simple. We need to put aside all secondary emotions like envy, put aside fear and attachment and know that no matter what happens we will survive. With a pure, courageous, open heart we need to ask the simple question: How would my life be without this person I call my love?

I’m not suggesting that we settle for an unhealthy relationship, nor am I suggesting that there is necessarily only one. I am saying that we complicate things with mountains of questions which can create doubt and confusion.

Sometimes the answer is obvious if we simplify. If we can take a step back and answer these two questions honestly and fearlessly I believe the answer as to whether we should be with our chosen one, or not, will be obvious. If we really and truly-give-up-a-kidney-kind of love our partner and we recognize that our lives are better as a team then with a little attention and a lot of commitment everything else will fall into place


You may also like:

Ask These 2 Questions To Know, If HeShe Is The 'ONE' For You
2 Questions To Know, If He/She Is The 'ONE' For You

— Share —

,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

3 Zodiac Signs That Don’t Believe In Love: They Think Romance Is ‘Overrated’

Zodiac Signs That Dont Believe In Love

Love is often celebrated as one of the most important things in life, but not everyone feels that way. For some, the idea of romantic love is less thrilling and more “overrated.” So, take a look at 3 zodiac signs that don’t believe in love anymore!

Whether it’s due to past experiences, personality traits, or simply a different perspective, a few zodiac signs are known for their skepticism about love.

Here are three zodiac signs that don’t believe in love—or have stopped believing in love, and why they think romance just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Up Next

The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages: How Your ADHD/Autistic Partner Shows Love

Neurodivergent Love Languages

All minds are not wired the same way to express and show love. For those on the autism spectrum or with ADHD, affection might look a bit different. Below are five neurodivergent love languages to help you understand love from a different perspective!

We know about Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, but these languages aren’t designed for neurodiverse individuals – who express care and affection differently. Sometimes their loved ones don’t recognize how they share their feelings, or why they act like they do.

So, let’s take a look at ADHD and autistic love languages, which might take on different forms to show how they like to receive affection.

Up Next

10 Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy: Why She’s the Best Girlfriend You’ll Ever Have

Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy

Dating a tomboy brings an exciting mix of fun, friendship, and romance. When you’re dating a tomboy, you’re in for a relationship that’s refreshingly different. She’s someone who’s down-to-earth, ready for adventure, and brings out the best in everyone around her.

From shared hobbies to spontaneous plans, being with her is all about enjoying life without pretenses or drama.

If you’re curious about what makes her such an amazing partner, here are 10 surprising perks that prove dating a tomboy might just be the best decision you’ll ever make!

Related: 10 Things You Need To Know If Yo

Up Next

Get To Know Your Partner Better: Try This Viral Love Character Test Now!

When it comes to dating, we all have our own unique ways. Some of us are laid-back, and some are full of energy. So, what kind of dating personality do you have? If you’re curious, try this viral Love Character Test to find out where you fall in this dating spectrum.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

The Love Character Test is the

Up Next

The Pebbling Love Language: Inspired By Penguins To Transform Relationships

For some people love doesn’t mean big actions and expensive presents, but rather small things matter the most to them. So here’s pebbling love language – inspired by penguins. Let’s find out if you have this language of love without even knowing it.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

What I

Up Next

Can TikTok’s ‘Meeting Someone Twice Theory’ Really Lead To Love?

Has a person ever crossed your path and then reappeared at another point in your life, causing you to feel like you have some kind of unexplainable bond with them? According to the newest idea from TikTok, Meeting Someone Twice Theory – is a meaningful thought that says love often needs a second chance.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

So let’s learn how the universe

Up Next

7 Common Trauma Beliefs Preventing You From Finding Love

Are you still single, even after putting in a lot of effort to find love? The answer might lie in your trauma beliefs. Yes, you heard me right. Trauma beliefs are the deep-seated, often subconscious notions formed from past painful experiences that shape how you see yourself and relationships, in general.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});