How To Figure Out What You Want In A Relationship

Are you struggling to figure out what you want in a relationship? Knowing what you want can help you find a fulfilling and healthy partnership. Here are a few tips on how to figure out what you want in a relationship to help you discover what youโ€™re looking for.

Relationships are complex but crucial

Do you feel confused about your current relationship or wonder if you are truly happy? Have you ever asked โ€œHow to figure out what I want in a relationship?โ€ย 

Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives. They can bring us happiness and fulfillment, but they can also bring us pain and heartache. Before entering into a relationship, it is important to figure out what you want from it. This can help you make better choices and avoid unnecessary heartbreak.ย 

Figuring out your relationship needs and desires starts with understanding your own needs and values. With self-awareness, you can find or improve the bond that fulfills you.

how to figure out what you want in a relationship

Let us explore some tips on how to figure out what you want in a relationship.

Related: What Women Need In A Relationship? 7 Important Things

How to figure out what you want in a relationship

Here are a few important and helpful tips that will help you understand exactly what you want in a relationship โ€“

1. Ask yourself the right questions

The first crucial step to knowing โ€œHow to figure out what I want in a relationship?โ€ is asking yourself the right questions and being honest with yourself. This can help to reveal your core desires.ย 

Some questions to consider:

What brings you the most joy and fulfillment outside of a relationship? Your hobbies, passions and close friends offer clues to the connection qualities that matter most to you.

What negative relationship experiences do you want to avoid moving forward? Past experiences can teach you what you really donโ€™t want repeating.

How do you want your ideal partner to make you feel? Secure? Cherished? Supported? Figuring out the emotions you crave provides essential guidance.

What level of togetherness versus independence do you prefer? Determine if you need more or less alone time to recharge.

What dealbreakers could you not compromise on? Be truthful with any non-negotiables around fidelity, lifestyle choices, parenting views and more.

2. Reflect on your past relationships

One of the best ways to figure out what you want in a relationship is to reflect on your past relationships. Think about what worked and what didnโ€™t work in those relationships. What qualities did you appreciate in your partner? What qualities did you not appreciate?ย 

By reflecting on your past relationships, you can get a better understanding of what you need in a partner and what you canโ€™t tolerate.

3. Identify your deal breakers

It is important to identify your deal breakers in a relationship. These are the things that you absolutely cannot tolerate in a partner.

For example, if you are someone who values honesty, then lying may be a deal breaker for you. If you are someone who values loyalty, then cheating may be a deal breaker for you.ย 

Identify your deal breakers early on so that you can avoid getting into a relationship with someone who doesnโ€™t meet your standards.

4. Consider your values and beliefs

Your values and beliefs play a big role in your relationships. Think about what values and beliefs are important to you and what you want in a partner.ย 

For example, if you are a religious person, you may want to be with someone who shares your beliefs. If you value education, you may want to be with someone who has similar educational goals.

5. Think about your goals and aspirations

Your goals and aspirations can also play a role in your relationships. Think about what you want to achieve in your life and what you want in a partner to help you achieve those goals.ย 

For example, if you want to start a family, you may want to be with someone who values family and is ready to start a family with you.

Related: How Modern Dating Is Killing Real Love

6. Pay attention to your emotions

Your emotions can also be a guide to what you want in a relationship. Pay attention to how you feel when you are with someone.ย 

Do you feel happy and fulfilled? Do you feel bored or uninterested? Your emotions can provide valuable insight into what you want in a relationship.ย This isย how to figure out what you want in a relationship. This is crucial when answering โ€œhow to figure out what I want in a relationship.โ€

7. Communicate with your partner

Communication is key in any relationship. If you are in a relationship, it is important to communicate with your partner about what you want.ย 

Be open and honest about your needs and desires. This can help you both get on the same page and work towards a fulfilling relationship.

8. Be true to yourself

It is important to be true to yourself when figuring out what you want in a relationship. Donโ€™t try to be someone youโ€™re not or settle for something that doesnโ€™t make you happy. Know your worth and donโ€™t settle for less than you deserve.

9. Explore your interests

Take some time to explore your own interests and hobbies. Knowing what you enjoy doing can help you find a partner who shares those interests, or who supports and encourages you to pursue your passions.

10. Consider your lifestyle

Think about the kind of lifestyle you want to lead, and what kind of partner would fit into that lifestyle. For example, if you enjoy traveling and adventure, you may want to be with someone who is also open to exploring new places and experiences.

Want more tips onย how to figure out what you want in a relationship? Read onโ€ฆ

11. Pay attention to your intuition

Your intuition can be a powerful tool in figuring out what you want in a relationship. If something doesnโ€™t feel right, listen to that feeling. On the other hand, if you feel a strong connection with someone, donโ€™t ignore that either.

12. Take things slow

Itโ€™s important to take things slow when getting to know someone new. Rushing into a relationship can cloud your judgment and make it harder to figure out what you really want.

how to figure out what you want in a relationship

13. Consider your love languages

Your love language is the way you prefer to give and receive love. Understanding your own love language, and that of your partner, can help you build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.ย This is crucial when learningย how to figure out what you want in a relationship.

14. Get to know yourself

Self-awareness is key to figuring out what you want in a relationship. Take some time to get to know yourself, your values, your strengths, and your weaknesses. This can help you identify what you need in a partner and what you can offer in return.

15. Seek advice from trusted friends and family

Your friends and family can offer valuable insights and perspectives on your relationships. Seek their advice and guidance, but remember to make your own decisions based on what feels right for you.

16. Stay open-minded

When answering โ€œhow to figure out what I want in a relationshipโ€, itโ€™s important to have a clear idea of what you want in a relationship, but itโ€™s also important to stay open-minded and flexible. You never know when you might meet someone who challenges your assumptions and opens up new possibilities for love and connection.

Related: How To Find Out If He Wants A Long Term Relationship With You

Common mistakes to avoidย 

Here are some common mistakes people make when learning how to figure out what you want in a relationship โ€“

1. Not being honest with themselves

Many people have an idealized vision of what a relationship should look like rather than being realistic about their needs and desires. Truly asking yourself the tough questions and being honest with the answers is the first step.

2. Focusing too much on the other person

Being desperate is a big mistake when answering โ€œHow to figure out what I want in a relationshipโ€.ย 

Some people get hung up on finding the โ€œperfectโ€ partner without first determining what would make them feel fulfilled and happy in a relationship. You have to establish your own needs and priorities first.

3. Compromising too much too soon

Some people accommodate their partnerโ€™s needs at the expense of their own just to keep the peace. Itโ€™s important to stand your ground on things that really matter to you, especially in the beginning.

4. Not communicating effectively

Many relationships suffer due to a lack of open, honest dialogue about wants and expectations. You have to talk frequently with your partner about what is and isnโ€™t working for both of you.

5. Failing to adapt as needs change

What you want in a relationship at 25 will likely be different at 35 or 45. Be willing to revisit and even renegotiate things as your priorities shift over time.

6. Being overly idealistic

Realize that no partner will meet 100% of your relationship wants and needs. Being flexible and willing to meet your partner halfway is usually essential for long-term happiness.

The keys are self-knowledge, effective communication, honesty and adaptability. If you can avoid the common pitfalls, learning how to figure out what you want in a relationship becomes an achievable goal.

how to figure out what you want in a relationship

Takeaway

Once you define your ideal mate and relationship based on the above considerations, look for someone who satisfies as many of these needs as possible.

Knowing what you want in a relationship is an ongoing journey that requires self-discovery, patience, and an open mind. Whether youโ€™re starting a new relationship or working to strengthen an existing one, the key to success lies in staying true to yourself and being willing to grow and evolve together.ย 

With self-knowledge and clear communication, you can improve any current connection or find your perfect match. The most important thing is figuring out what you truly want in a relationship โ€“ and having the courage to pursue it.

So go forth with confidence and clarity, and may your journey to finding love be a rewarding and joyful one.

Related: Why An Emotionally Strong Woman Gets the Relationship She Wants


Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):

How do you figure out what I need and want in a relationship?

Listen actively, ask questions, observe their actions, show empathy, communicate openly, and share your needs to understand theirs.

What are 5 deal breakers in a relationship?

Common deal breakers in a relationship include dishonesty, lack of respect, infidelity, incompatible values, and lack of communication.

What do men want in a relationship?

Love, respect, communication, trust, support, understanding, intimacy, shared interests, loyalty, emotional connection, appreciation, honesty, independence, partnership, and happiness.

how to figure out what i want in a relationship

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