Ever gotten a reply that made your stomach drop? Or reread a message and realized… yikes, that sounded a little harsh? Some people might be a little slow with textiquette. They drop texts innocently which might mean something wholly different to another person.
This era of texting is quick, convenient, and often the go-to way to stay in touch with friends, family, coworkers, sometimes even our bosses. While it makes communication easier, but it can also lead misunderstandings.
A lot of commonly used phrases seem polite or neutral on the surface, but actually when read out loud can be condescending messages, that sound passive-aggressive, or dismissive.
We’re talking about those subtle messages that make the other person feel talked down to, even if you didn’t mean it that way.
Below are 7 everyday condescending text messages we’ve all probably sent (or received), why they don’t land well, and how to say what you mean without sounding like you’re rolling your eyes.
Read More Here: Why Do People Use “LOL” After Every Text That Is Not Particularly Funny?
Textiquette 101: 7 Condescending Messages That Sound Rude (Even If You Don’t Mean Them To)
1. “K” or “Ok.”
What is might sound like: “I’m annoyed, and this convo is over.”
While it might seem like you’re just acknowledging something, this ultra-short response often reads as cold and clipped. It’s a classic dismissive text response, the kind that instantly kills the vibe of a conversation.
This lacks warmth, context, and sounds like you’re brushing someone off. So instead of saying this try saying things like: “Okay, sounds good!” or “Got it, thanks”.
Adding an emoji or an exclamation point can help soften your tone.
2. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”
What it might sound like: “I don’t agree, but whatever.”
On the surface, you think you sound agreeable, but underneath, this dismissive text response is dripping with passive-aggressive energy. This reply often gets sent when you’re not thrilled with someone’s plan or opinion, but don’t have the energy or time to argue.
Why it feels off: It signals disapproval while pretending to be supportive in a sneaky form of condescending behavior.
Try saying this instead: “Not totally my thing, but if it works for you, go for it.” or “I trust your choice!”
3. “Wow, wasn’t expecting that from you.”
What it can mean: “I don’t approve, but I’m trying not to say it directly.”
This text often comes up when someone shares a surprise decision or opinion. While it might seem neutral, it can come across as subtle judgment or that like you’re taken aback but in a bad way.
Why it feels off: It implies you had a different (better?) expectation and theirs didn’t meet it.
Try this instead: “Oh wow! Tell me more!” or “That’s a twist! Tell me what made you decide that.
4. “As I said…” or “Per my last message…”
What it translates to: “Why weren’t you paying attention?”
These are common in work texts and emails, but even in professional settings, they can feel unnecessarily condescending, like you’re scolding someone. They’re often used to highlight that you’ve already provided info, but they come off as superior or irritated.
Why it feels off: It puts the blame on the other person and assumes carelessness or incompetence.
Try this instead: “Hi, I mentioned earlier…” or “In case you missed it, here’s what I shared before…”
5. “You do you.”
What it means: “That’s a dumb decision, but it’s your problem.”
This phrase usually means to encourage someone to be themselves or be confidence, but some use it as a passive-aggressive way of saying “I don’t agree, but I’m done.” They don’t wanna argue anymore
Why this text feels off: It often reads as sarcastic or dismissive, especially during serious convos.
Try this instead: “That’s not how I’d do it, but I respect your decision.” or “If that’s what feels right to you, do it.”
6. “Actually…” or “Let me explain…”
What it means: “You’re wrong, and I know better.”
Even if you’re trying to be helpful, start a text with “Actually” can make it sound like you’re correcting someone in smug or condescending way.
Why it feels off: It instantly creates a power imbalance like it’s a “me right, you wrong” tone.
Try this instead: “Here’s another way to look at it…” or “I was thinking it might work like this… what do you think?”
7. “Whatever.”
Translation: “I’ve emotionally checked out.”
This is the ultimate dismissive text response, it instantly shuts down any conversation. Whether you’re upset, over it, or just don’t care anymore, “whatever” sends a strong message of disinterest or resentment.
Why it feels off: It’s a dead-end and doesn’t leave room for resolution or discussion.
Try this instead: “Let’s take a break from this and revisit later.” or “Can we talk about this later?”
Mind Your Textiquette!
The way we text matters. A few words can completely shift how someone feels, whether it’s heard and respected, or dismissed and belittled. Practicing good textiquette is less about using perfect grammar and more about being mindful of tone, clarity, and empathy.
Read More Here: Stop Texting Your Ex ‘Happy Birthday’ – Here Are 5 Reasons Why!
So before you hit send, take a second to reread. Is your text hiding condescending behaviors behind polite words?
A small tweak can make a huge difference and make you soun thoughtful instead of shady condescending behaviors.
Leave a Reply