Love is one of the most beautiful and amazing things one can ever experience, and it never fails to make you feel remarkable. The feeling of someone loving you back, just the way you do is a different high altogether. The thought of spending your life with the one you love is enough to make you feel safe and complete. But loving someone with your all and gradually losing your identity in the process – is that a fair bargain?
When you find the one you have always been searching for, it can make you feel as if you are walking on clouds. However, with every passing day as the relationship grows, there comes the time to make a compromise or two, but when it’s just you who is making all the compromises and sacrifices, that’s a HUGE problem. If you keep on doing this, you will start losing your identity bit by bit, up to the point when you will feel empty.
So, don’t. Love someone with your all, but don’t lose yourself in the process. Help them and support them, but do the same for yourself too. Love can never mean losing yourself entirely to make someone happy and sustain a relationship.
Here Are 8 Things That Can Stop You From Losing Your Identity In A Relationship
1. Do what makes you happy.
No matter how much you love your partner, you need to put yourself first at times and do what makes you happy. Being in a committed relationship does not mean that you will give yourself up, and forget about your needs. Your hobbies, your opinions, your likes, your dislikes – all of these things matter, and never ever compromise on that.
Putting yourself first at times is not selfish, it’s self-care. Giving yourself away all of the time for your relationship will only end up making you feel unhappy and empty in the long run. If you are not genuinely happy yourself, then how can you build a happy relationship? Something to think about.
Related: Relational Obedience: Why You Should NEVER Lose Yourself In Love
2. Take yourself out on dates.
Take some time out for yourself. Take yourself out on dates, and do things that make you feel excited and happy. Go see the movie you have always wanted to see. Indulge in some retail therapy. Go on a hike on your favorite trail. Crack open a bottle of your favorite wine and binge on some trashy reality show on the weekends. Do things that make your heart sing, and don’t always care how others are perceiving that.
When you feel comfortable and happy alone, you have reached that point where you will be nothing short of unfuckwithable. It is also one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. Always giving away your time to someone else starts becoming unhealthy after a point, and when you are fully cool with solitude, you won’t need anyone else to complete you.
3. Take charge of your passions.
One of the best ways to avoid losing your identity in a relationship is by focusing on your interests and passions. Work on taking your life further and in the right direction, and never fail to make use of all the resources and benefits you might have at hand. You might think about the best ways of achieving your dream career, or take better care of your body or even simply put in more time and effort in your favorite hobbies.
When you focus solely on your relationship, you are depriving yourself of self-growth, and self-development. You have so much potential, but if you don’t tap into it, and invest all your time in the relationship, you will be left with a big void in yourself. Loving someone with an empty tank doesn’t make any sense, does it? Take care of yourself first, then only will you be able to do the same for someone else.
4. Stay in touch with your family.
Families are not always picture-perfect, and everyone’s family is a little bit quirky and dysfunctional in their own ways. But family will always be family. Your roots and origin will always be in your family, so never ever let go of that. No matter who you are in love with, always make it a point to stay in touch with your family, and never take them for granted. Family connections can help you a lot in life.
Keeping in touch with your family will help you stay in touch with your roots, and who you were since you were a child. In case you go through a breakup, it’s going to be your family who will help you pick up the pieces, and support you like no one else can. Just like your relationship might be very important to you, make sure that you treat your family with the same respect.
Related: 10 Things That Happen When You Finally Pull Yourself Together
5. Never forget your friends.
Having good friends who always have your back is important, and that’s honestly an understatement. Your friends’ circle is like your second family, they will always give you the right kind of advice, and will always push you towards doing the right thing. Keep those friends close who genuinely want to see you succeed, do good in life, and who never hesitates to tell you the absolute truth.
Many people tend to ignore and forget their friends once they get into a relationship, but that’s one of the saddest things you can do for yourself. Your friends and your relationship should be equally important, if not more. Your partner might be your best friend, but do not let them be your only friend.
6. Setting boundaries is important.
Most people think setting boundaries is like you telling them to stay away from you, and that they have little to no place in your life. That cannot be farther away from the truth. Boundaries are not barriers that you put up to make people stay away from you; boundaries are important to retain your identity in the relationship.
Talk to your partner honestly about what your boundaries are or what you need to be truly content and happy. How much space would you need? Which things about your life are off-limits? What are the most vital and meaningful things in your life? Do you need at least one day in a week for some me-time? Having some boundaries in a relationship prevents it from becoming all-consuming and suffocating; it is crucial that both of you have your own space without the other person feeling ignored or neglected.
7. Be okay with the act of letting go.
Not every relationship is meant to be. Not every relationship is going to be a healthy relationship. And you need to find ways to be okay with that. If you think that your relationship is not helping you grow, then maybe you need to let go of it. It will be hard, and painful, but looking at the bigger picture always works, and once you move on from all that pain, just watch yourself thrive and fly.
It is always better to be single than be in a relationship, that leads to losing your identity You should always be with someone who will respect the real you, and never ask you to sacrifice your beliefs so that they may feel comfortable. Life is too short to be someone who you are not. Life is too short to waste time on a relationship that is honestly not worth it in the long run.
Related: 12 Signs You Are Losing Yourself In Your Relationship
8. Never underestimate rational thinking.
When you are in love, it is very easy to let go of your thinking hat, and let your emotions fully drive you. Even though being emotional is not a bad thing in any way, you need to be logical at times too. You need to know how to be emotional and logical, both; too much of either end up creating a lot of incorrigible problems. Take a deep, hard look at the things that you are okay with and the things you will never be okay with it, no matter how hard you try.
When you try to understand everything from a rational as well as an emotional point of view, you will still be in love with your partner, and also know the absolute truth of your relationship. Sometimes taking a step back, and taking a long, hard look at your relationship is not that bad of a thing. Unromantic maybe, but definitely not wrong.
Finding your way through a relationship can be a tough thing to do, as not every relationship is the same. But those relationships, where you have no self-identity, are not the relationships you should want to be in. Losing your identity just because you love someone is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Be who you are, and be your authentic self, and the right person will always love you and respect you for that.
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