7 Important Conversations Every Couple Needs To Have

For having a strong, fulfilled and healthy relationship, there are some important conversations that every couple should have.

If you were to hear that a therapistโ€™s method of helping distressed couples bond again had a seventy-five percent success rate (as opposed to the rather dismal thirty-five percent success rate of most of the other forms of couples therapy), wouldnโ€™t you want to learn more about the methodology?

Psychologist and researcher Dr. Sue Johnson has done exactly that.ย She created a whole new way of helping couples cope with serious relationship issues that have proven time and time again to be highly successful.

Based on a validated science-based method ofย couples therapyย calledย Emotionally Focused Couple Therapyย (EFT), Dr. Johnson wrote a book calledย Hold Me Tight,ย Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Loveย for the general public with all the information to move from conflict to calmness in your relationship.ย Hold Me Tightย explains her process, clearly and in detail, for all to benefit from.

Theย Hold Me Tightย relationship enhancement workshops, also created by Dr. Johnson, are formatted from the book and are held all over the country by local professionals.ย These workshops teach seven different conversations designed to help couples learn how to move away from negative patterns of conflict, increase their emotional responsiveness to one another, forgive old wounds, and rekindle their desire and affection.

This program educates couples through presentations, viewing videos of Dr. Johnson working with couples, and interactive experiences that couples do together.ย The couples soon begin to recognize the defining moments of their relationship and build new connections. All experiential, interactive work is done privately between the partners followed by group discussion. No one is required to โ€œair their dirty laundryโ€ so to speak with the group.

The seven conversations through which participants are guided are designed to increase the experience of emotional responsiveness, that sense of safety and closeness that addresses three primary needs:

Accessibilityย โ€“ Can I reach you?ย  Do you hear what I need?

Responsivenessย โ€“ Can I rely on you to respond to me emotionally?

Engagementย โ€“ Do I know that you will value me and stay close?

The theory is that these โ€œA.R.Eโ€ questions are often buried, hidden just under the surface in most of our recurring arguments about issues such as sex, kids, personality differences, and money. If partners feel safe and loved, they can deal with differences and problems together.ย If not, relationship issues and fears get channeled into endless disagreements around practical issues of everyday life. By guiding you through seven transforming conversations, the program will show you how to create a safe, loving bond with your partner.

The first four conversations teach the participants to limit negative spirals that leave them both disconnected.ย It also outlines how to tune into each other in a way that builds lasting emotional responsiveness. The next two conversations demonstrate how couples can promote emotional bonding through forgiving injuries and sexual intimacy. The final conversation shows you how to care for your relationship on a daily basis.

Related: 9 Things Genuinely Happy Couples Do To Stay Connected and In Love Forever

Here are the seven key conversations that all couples need to have:

1. Recognizing Demon Dialogues

In this initial conversation, couples identify common emotional reactions that lead to negative cycles.ย Being able to identify the negative patterns is the first step to being able to step out of those patterns.

2. Finding the Raw Spotsย 

Next, each partner learns to look beyond their immediate, impulsive reactions to discover the vulnerable feelings under the negative cycles.

3. Revisiting a Rocky Momentย 

This conversation develops a safe platform for de-escalating conflict, repairing disconnections, and building emotional security.

4. Hold Me Tightย 

Now the partners can move into being more accessible, emotionally responsive, and deeply engaged, known as โ€œA.R.E.,โ€ to strengthen and protect their emotional connection.

Related: 12 Habits of Couples Who Stay In Love

Conversations Every Couple Should Have

5. Forgiving Injuries

Old emotional hurts can block intimacy and a secure connection. Knowing how to identify these injuries and offer and accept forgiveness empowers couples to strengthen their bonds.

6. Bonding Through Sex and Touch

Here, couples learn more about how emotional connection enhances physical connection, which in turn creates a deeper emotional connection โ€“ the best kind of cycle.

7. Keeping Your Love Alive

The last conversation in the program builds on the understanding that a love relationship is a continual process of losing and finding an emotional connection; it helps couples to be deliberate and mindful about maintaining that connection.

This workshop gives couples real tools to create a lifetime of love!

To experience a Relationship Enhancement Workshop based on Hold Me Tight in Boca Raton, Florida, go toย www.HMTFlorida.com.ย  Take a listen to thisย podcastย where I discuss these conversations. Feel free toย reach out to meย with any questions!ย 


Written Byย Marni Feuerman
Originally Appeared Inย The Talking Solution

Maintaining a relationship forever takes a lot of effort from both the partners, and without substantial efforts, it has no hope for a future. The right kind of conversation can go a long way in ensuring your relationshipโ€™s success, and that is why these are some important conversations that every couple should have. This will help you build your relationship into a stronger one, and one that will stand the test of time.

Conversations Every Couple Have Pin

— Share —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages: How Your ADHD/Autistic Partner Shows Love

Neurodivergent Love Languages

All minds are not wired the same way to express and show love. For those on the autism spectrum or with ADHD, affection might look a bit different. Below are five neurodivergent love languages to help you understand love from a different perspective!

We know about Gary Chapmanโ€™s The Five Love Languages, but these languages arenโ€™t designed for neurodiverse individuals โ€“ who express care and affection differently. Sometimes their loved ones donโ€™t recognize how they share their feelings, or why they act like they do.

So, letโ€™s take a look at ADHD and autistic love languages, which might take on different forms to show how they like to receive affection.

Up Next

Complacency: The Silent Killer Of Relationships

How Complacency Can Ruin A Perfect Relationship

Has your relationship slipped into complacency? When comfort leads to blurred boundaries, itโ€™s time to reignite the spark. Learn how to refresh your connection together!

Can being too comfortable in a relationship lead to the end?

Key points

Complacency can happen over time in relationships.

Becoming too comfortable leads to blurred boundaries.

There are ways to refresh a relationship if complacency sets in.

Up Next

10 Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy: Why Sheโ€™s the Best Girlfriend Youโ€™ll Ever Have

Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy

Dating a tomboy brings an exciting mix of fun, friendship, and romance. When youโ€™re dating a tomboy, youโ€™re in for a relationship thatโ€™s refreshingly different. Sheโ€™s someone whoโ€™s down-to-earth, ready for adventure, and brings out the best in everyone around her.

From shared hobbies to spontaneous plans, being with her is all about enjoying life without pretenses or drama.

If youโ€™re curious about what makes her such an amazing partner, here are 10 surprising perks that prove dating a tomboy might just be the best decision youโ€™ll ever make!

Related: 10 Things You Need To Know If Yo

Up Next

How Playfulness Can Transform Your Love Life

How Playfulness In A Relationship Can Transform Your Love Life

Is your relationship feeling stale or distant? Wondering how to reignite the spark? Discover how bringing playfulness into your love life can create deeper connections and renewed passion.

Looking to revive a dying flame? Try the power of play.

Key points

The four types of relationship playfulness are other-directed, intellectual, whimsical, and lightheartedness.

Other-directed and intellectual are the most highly predictive of relationship satisfaction.

All types of playfulness are related to at least some facet of relationship well-being.

Up Next

7 Types Of Intimacy To Deepen Your Relationship

Ever wondered how to deepen your bond with your partner? Learning these 7 different types of intimacy in a relationship that can bring you closer in meaningful ways. Try it out now!

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Intimacy is important, but how do we cultivate it?

Up Next

The Pebbling Love Language: Inspired By Penguins To Transform Relationships

For some people love doesnโ€™t mean big actions and expensive presents, but rather small things matter the most to them. So hereโ€™s pebbling love language โ€“ inspired by penguins. Letโ€™s find out if you have this language of love without even knowing it.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

What I

Up Next

Can TikTokโ€™s โ€˜Meeting Someone Twice Theoryโ€™ Really Lead To Love?

Has a person ever crossed your path and then reappeared at another point in your life, causing you to feel like you have some kind of unexplainable bond with them? According to the newest idea from TikTok, Meeting Someone Twice Theory โ€“ is a meaningful thought that says love often needs a second chance.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

So letโ€™s learn how the universe