A good friendship is about give and take: You vent about work and they tell you their problems. But, this balance can be skewed in narcissistic friendships. Do you feel like you have a narcissist friend?
Well, the conversations with them can feel one-sided – it’s all about them and you feel exhausted if your needs from the friendship goes completely unmet. If you’re looking for more information on toxic friendships, below are some signs of a narcissistic friend.
7 Brutal Truths About Narcissistic Friendships
1. Our Friends Don’t Really Like You
The people that we choose to provide our inner and outer circle of friends have all been charmed by us and roped into our sphere of influence for the purpose of providing us with fuel, traits and residual benefits.
They in return are granted repeated audiences with ourselves, they are able to gaze on the Sun King and benefit from their association with such a social titan.
When you are admitted to my sphere of influence as an intimate partner these friends of mine only like you because they know that this is their role and they must do so in order to remain able to attend my court. Should I give the instruction they will turn their backs on you in an instant. Never believe that you can turn to them in a moment of need.
You will head straight into a brick wall. Should you be admitted into my sphere of influence as another member of the inner or outer circle then these friends are your competitors. They are all seeking my favour, either to remain in the inner circle or to achieve promotion to it, such is the allure and attraction of being friends with me.
These other friends will smile and welcome you, because that is what is expected of them but they are smiling assassins who will pounce and delight in plunging the dagger of isolation and ostracising into your back should I will that to happen. You are entering a viper’s nest.
Related: The 7 Types Of Toxic Friends You Should Stay Away From
2. It Is A One-way Street
You will benefit from your association with me as a friend and you will enjoy my company, who would not when I am charming, magnetic and interesting but you are only allowed to occupy this position so long as you are giving. You must provide me with the fuel to keep me topped-up through your praise and admiration.
I expect you to be an errand boy for me, you will carry out my machinations on my behalf when I require you to manipulate someone by proxy, you will get me things, give me things and do things for me all because you want to stay in the elevated position of my friendship.
It is also highly likely that I will possess some information about you or something you want which compels your compliance also. You are the giver and I am the taker. It is one way.
3. Our Friends Do Not Know What We Are
The blazing brightness of our brilliance is such that it obscures what we really are. Any complaints about our behaviour will be met with rejection and a confused response. They have always been treated well by us. We let them join us and we allow them to follow in our wake which has numerous benefits.
They have no idea what we actually are for if they did they would no continue to be part of our retinue. They do not want to know any different however because they have been brainwashed into thinking that the status quo is to their advantage and therefore they see no reason to entertain anybody who seeks to usurp us.
4. Your Friends Are All Targets
I have no interest in making friends with your friends. They are beneath me but I will regard them as targets. There may well be your replacement amongst them and how satisfying would that be to corrupt one of your supporters to turn against you and sit at my right hand?
I will charm and ensure that your friends think well of me as this will not only make my seduction of you as my primary source far easier, it will also provide me with fuel, traits and residual benefits as well.
You friends are targets to be my new primary source, members of my coterie and even lieutenants so that I have a fifth columnist in your camp willing to act on my behalf when the inevitable devaluation begins.
Related: 9 Signs Of A Fake Friend
5. Our Friendships Are Defined By The Usefulness
As I have explained the concept of friendship for us all about what we can take from it and therefore so long as someone is providing us what we require, complying with our wishes and carrying out what we want then the friendship will endure.
Should one of our friends see through us, turn against us or begin to fail in their assigned role it is of little consequence to us that we may have known them for ten years or more.
It is of no concern that we go drinking with them every Friday, if they do not function as a constituent appliance then they will be switched off, excluded and replaced. We make friends easily and we keep them far easier than you might think. Very few leave us. We usually do the jettisoning.
6. Our Friends Must Never Outshine Us
We like our friends to be beautiful and handsome but not better looking than us. We like to have a beautiful crowd around us, it signals to the world that we are special.
We want the interesting folk, the talented, the successful and so forth as we are able to steal traits from all of these people to accentuate our own success and popularity so we are better able to seduce more people into our sphere of influence.
We want them to achieve, look good, be fascinating so long as none of them outshine us. We benefit from the reflected glory but it must not shine brighter than our star otherwise someone will have to be exited. There is only room for one king on this throne.
7. We Appear To Like Our Friends But We Like Their Fulfilment Of The Prime Aims Really
The members of our inner or outer circles often appear to be liked by us. This is purely the outer manifestation of our fuel-filled selves. What we really like is that our friends are satisfying The Prime Aims.
The fact we say you are a good badminton partner, really means that you provide us with fuel and the residual benefit of having someone to undertake some sporting exercise with.
The fact we declare we enjoy our morning lift-share with you, really means we enjoy the fuel you provide and that you are providing the residual benefit of enabling us to save money.
Remain within our control, fulfil one or more of the prime aims and as a friend, a Non Intimate Secondary Source you will appear to be liked.
Related: The Woes Of One-Sided Friendship: Signs, Effects, And Tips To Escape
Being friends with a narcissist means being exposed to a person who always feels they’re superior you and it can be a constant hits at your self-esteem. So be careful how you want to deal with them.
We hope you found the truths about narcissistic friendships to be insightful, share your thoughts below!
Written By HG Tudor Originally Appeared On narcsite
What is a narcissistic friendship?
In a narcissistic friendship, they constantly seek praise, put their own need first, lack empathy, and have high expectations of their friends. They will frequently break ties when others are no longer beneficial to them.
Can narcissistic people be friends?
Narcissists can be good friends in the early stage of a friendship as they’re often supportive, thoughtful, and kind. It is only later when they disclose their true colours.
How do you tell if your friend is a narcissist?
Being friends with narcissists can be a daunting experience, here are some signs of a narcissistic friendship – they try to manipulate you, they constantly seek admiration or praise, and they aren’t there for you when you need them but expect you to put their needs before yours, etc.
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