Have you finally found THE ONE and are you looking for ways to make your woman feel loved?
Are you worried that you are just a clumsy guy who doesn’t get women at all and that if you don’t do some research you just might lose her?
Unfortunately, as the old title says, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Men and women are so fundamentally different that sometimes it hard to imagine how any relationship can ever work.
I am here to tell you that you can be in a successful relationship. I am. And here is what my guy does to make me feel loved every day.
1) Be honest.
So, tell me the truth. How many times have you told your woman a lie to protect her, to keep her from getting hurt? How many times have you figured that what your woman knows doesn’t hurt her?
I have a friend who, when he dates a woman and then doesn’t want to see her again, he doesn’t tell her. When she reaches out he responds but curtly. When she wants to do something, he vaguely makes an excuse. He is waiting for her to walk away from him. Why? So he doesn’t ‘hurt her.’
What men don’t understand is that women are stronger than men think they are. So many of my clients tell me that if their guy would just tell them the truth then they would be able to make a decision about whether to fish or cut bait instead of having to sit around, wondering at his behavior.
So, if you have done something that you know might upset your woman, tell her! If you are going to work late, tell her, even if you think it will upset her. It will upset her more if, when dinner is on the table, she gets a text from you saying that you won’t be home.
Be proactive. I promise that one of the most effective ways to make your women feel loved is to respect her strength and be honest with her, even if you are scared of how she might react.
AND, know that if you try to keep a secret from your woman it will, eventually, come out. And when it does, her trust in you will be violated and good luck coming back from that one.
2) Make time.
I know, I know. Life is busy. There are work and friends and sports and mothers and kids and pets and chores and they all take up a lot of time.
That being said, while all of those things are important, the most important thing is right in front of you – your woman. Imagine if you didn’t have her. What would you do then?
When your golf game needs some work, you practice more often. If a project at work is particularly challenging, you stay late to get it done right. So, how come so many men don’t put the time into their relationship to keep it a happy one?
Spending time with your woman doesn’t mean not paying attention to the other things in your life but it does mean making her a priority.
I have a client who plays golf every weekend, with his wife’s permission. When he reached out to me he was feeling some distance from her and he wasn’t sure why. I suggested that he not play golf one Saturday a month and make that a Saturday just for them.
What happened? His wife was thrilled to spend more time with him and she felt special because she knew that he was giving up time doing something he loved for her. Her distance immediately disappeared and they have a lot of fun on those Saturdays.
So, make your woman a priority. I promise you will make her feel loved.
3) Use your words.
I can’t tell you how many times I have asked a client if they tell their partner how much they love them, how much they appreciate them, how beautiful they are.
What do my clients usually say? I don’t have to tell her. She already knows.
I can promise you that, even if your woman knows that you love her, she wants to hear it from you. Why? Because every woman (and most men) like to be told the how, and why, they are special to you.
Today my beau and I were discussing how he didn’t have many habits that bugged me. Sure, he leaves his OJ class on the counter every morning and his truck is so old that it’s often not reliable but I realized that none of those things matter because he tells me he loves me all the time. Clearly telling me how much he cares about me gets him out of a whole lot of trouble every day and makes our relationship strong.
4) Don’t be scared.
Funny story. Last week a client of mine’s wife got out of bed in the middle of the night and stubbed her toe on the treadmill that he got her for her birthday. She immediately started ranting about the stupid treadmill and how frustrated she was at work and how she didn’t want her mother to come over the next day. My client was stumped by her behavior.
As a woman, I can tell you what the reality was. What happened is his wife was in pain after stubbing her toe and she needed to put some words to that pain. Those things weren’t actually a problem for her but they were on her mind and the pain made them worse
Don’t be scared of your woman’s emotions. Woman do have emotions and women are way more likely than men to display those emotions. Her emotions might seem big and unmanageable to you and you might do everything that you can possibly do to avoid them being on display.
I can promise you that, if you don’t let your fear of her emotions drive you but instead you seek to understand that they are real, and definitely ok, you will make her feel loved. She will know that you see her and that you trust her and that you understand and respect her feelings.
I know it might seem hard to believe, but life and love will go on if your wife has a big cry at the end of a long day.
5) Listen.
There is a popular YouTube video about a woman who is telling her partner that she is really struggling with headaches and pressure and that she doesn’t know what to do. The camera pans left and we see that she has a nail coming out of her forehead. The camera pans to the man who tries to point out the nail and suggests that removing it might ease the pressure. She gets mad because he is always trying to fix her when she just wants him to listen. When he does just that, she calms down and kisses him, or tries to. It’s hard with the nail in her forehead.
The #1 issue that I hear from women is that when they are trying to express how they feel to their man, that man doesn’t acknowledge her feelings but instead tries to get to the root cause and fix them. Women don’t want this.
Women want to be seen and heard and not fixed. If you can take away one thing from this article let it be this one. Next time our woman is distressed, sit there, listen, acknowledge what she says and be empathetic. DON’T try to fix her!
It’s way easier then you might think to make your woman feel loved.
Unfortunately, in so many ways, men and women struggle to understand what each other needs and so they stab around in the dark, trying to do the best that they can.
Well, here I am, a woman and a life coach, telling you what you can do to make your woman feel loved. Be honest with her, make time, talk to her, don’t be frightened of her emotions and don’t try to fix her!
Written by Mitzi Bockmann
Originally appeared in LET YOUR DREAMS BEGIN
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