5 Damaging Mindsets Keeping You From A Happy Relationship

Why do you always attract negativity? What keeps you away from a happy and healthy relationship? It might be your mindset which is damaging the healthy growth of your relationship. Read on to know about damaging mindsets in relationships.

As I close in on the two year anniversary of starting this website, I have had countless conversations with people who are in all phases of life. Men, women, boys, girls, single, married, divorced, and everything in between.

When you really stop to listen and pay attention, there are many lessons to be taken away from these interactions. Insights into the thoughts and feelings of others, as well as the ability to reflect on your own.

Some of these include varying degrees of what could be considered self-sabotage. Of course, many of us have been jaded along the way, taken advantage of, taken for granted, or unappreciated. This can permeate a new relationship, as we have a hard time letting go of the damage from the old.

It is important that we stay positive and true to ourselves in order to find a happy relationship.

5 damaging mindsets in relationships that could be keeping you from finding the happiness you deserve.

1. You are expecting to find the โ€˜perfect relationship.โ€™

perfect relationship

While, needless to say,ย the perfect relationship doesnโ€™t actually exist, I feel that many people are becoming less and less likely to be willing to put the required work and effort into building something alongside a teammate. They are walking away at the first sign of difficulty, and it is preventing deep, meaningful relationships from actually developing.

No matter how easy and carefree myself or anyone else makes it sound like a relationship is, there are always going to be challenges you face.

But, thatโ€™s what makes you and your partner stronger together. Itโ€™s what bonds you together as you overcome these obstacles as a team. It is what it means to beย truly committedย to the person you love.

Read Why Romance Turns Toxic: The Psychology Behind Love & Relationships

2. You have not yet recognized your own self-worth.

Relationships are not only about finding the right person to be with, they are also aboutย beingย the right person to be with. For many of us, we do not just wake up one day and instantly become that person. We need to put in the time and effort to develop ourselves accordingly.

The bottom line is that โ€œwe accept the love we think we deserve,โ€ย andย youย get to decide what you deserve. Someoneโ€™s inability to see your value does not make you any less valuable, thatโ€™s why itโ€™s calledย self worth.ย Itโ€™s up to you, not them.

If you do not feel like you truly deserve to be happy, you will always find yourself sabotaging the situations which can bring it to you. Stop being the victim, and start being the victor.

Read 3 Ways To Escape An Unhappy Marriage Without Getting a Divorce

3. You are actually scared of finding happiness.

I remember a long time ago people used to talk to me about the concept of being scared of becoming successful. I never really understood what they meant, how could you be scared of success? How could you be scared of happiness?

Both success and happiness require risk. They require much more risk than mediocrity or just settling. Taking the safe path through the woods. Living a โ€˜beigeโ€™ life. And, itย canย be scary. It can be scary to think of falling for someone who does not fall for you in return. It can be scary to imagineย giving too much to someoneย without them giving in return. But, without risk, there is no reward.

Fortune favors the bold, not just in life, but also in love.

4. You never think the timing is right.

Life gets crazy, we all get busy, and it becomes difficult to imagine shifting around our schedule in order toย accommodate that of a whole other person in order to build a relationship with them.

The timing isnโ€™t right, but you will be able to focus more after you reach your next goal. Or, after you make this deadline. Or, after your new assistant gets hired.

Whatever it may be, there is always an excuse that seems to keep us from doing what it is that we really want to do. โ€œSomedayโ€ is not a day of the week, and it never actually shows up on the calendar. There is noย perfect moment,ย but what there is, is the ability to take the moment and make it perfect.

There will be no wrong timing when you find the right person, but you need to be open to them coming into your life.

Read Ways How Self-Esteem Makes Or Breaks Relationships

5. You are jaded.

This is maybe the most common reason I hear from people about why they do not want to date anymore. They have been burned in the past andย have felt unappreciated, which I mentioned earlier. They donโ€™t think there are any good people left in the world. No good men, and no good women. All men are jerks, and all women are crazy. This is one of the most damaging mindsets in relationships.

After one, two, or twenty disappointments, it is natural to become worn down and discouraged, but keeping your hope alive is the only missing piece to finding the person you are meant to be with.

There is no predicting when or where you will meet the person you fall in love with. You may be reading this article on your phone and bump into them on the street. You might be in line behind them in the coffee shop. You might meet them at a party. But, if you are too jaded to give them a chance when they do come along, you risk letting them get away forever.

While it may be a risk to put yourself out there and chase after happiness, it is far less of a risk than spending the rest of your life wishing you had.


Written by James Michael Sama
Originally appeared in The Good Men Project

Republished with permission
5 Damaging Mindsets Keeping You From A Happy Relationship pin
Damaging Mindsets Happy Relationship pin

— Share —

,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages: How Your ADHD/Autistic Partner Shows Love

Neurodivergent Love Languages

All minds are not wired the same way to express and show love. For those on the autism spectrum or with ADHD, affection might look a bit different. Below are five neurodivergent love languages to help you understand love from a different perspective!

We know about Gary Chapmanโ€™s The Five Love Languages, but these languages arenโ€™t designed for neurodiverse individuals โ€“ who express care and affection differently. Sometimes their loved ones donโ€™t recognize how they share their feelings, or why they act like they do.

So, letโ€™s take a look at ADHD and autistic love languages, which might take on different forms to show how they like to receive affection.

Up Next

Complacency: The Silent Killer Of Relationships

How Complacency Can Ruin A Perfect Relationship

Has your relationship slipped into complacency? When comfort leads to blurred boundaries, itโ€™s time to reignite the spark. Learn how to refresh your connection together!

Can being too comfortable in a relationship lead to the end?

Key points

Complacency can happen over time in relationships.

Becoming too comfortable leads to blurred boundaries.

There are ways to refresh a relationship if complacency sets in.

Up Next

10 Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy: Why Sheโ€™s the Best Girlfriend Youโ€™ll Ever Have

Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy

Dating a tomboy brings an exciting mix of fun, friendship, and romance. When youโ€™re dating a tomboy, youโ€™re in for a relationship thatโ€™s refreshingly different. Sheโ€™s someone whoโ€™s down-to-earth, ready for adventure, and brings out the best in everyone around her.

From shared hobbies to spontaneous plans, being with her is all about enjoying life without pretenses or drama.

If youโ€™re curious about what makes her such an amazing partner, here are 10 surprising perks that prove dating a tomboy might just be the best decision youโ€™ll ever make!

Related: 10 Things You Need To Know If Yo

Up Next

How Playfulness Can Transform Your Love Life

How Playfulness In A Relationship Can Transform Your Love Life

Is your relationship feeling stale or distant? Wondering how to reignite the spark? Discover how bringing playfulness into your love life can create deeper connections and renewed passion.

Looking to revive a dying flame? Try the power of play.

Key points

The four types of relationship playfulness are other-directed, intellectual, whimsical, and lightheartedness.

Other-directed and intellectual are the most highly predictive of relationship satisfaction.

All types of playfulness are related to at least some facet of relationship well-being.

Up Next

7 Types Of Intimacy To Deepen Your Relationship

Ever wondered how to deepen your bond with your partner? Learning these 7 different types of intimacy in a relationship that can bring you closer in meaningful ways. Try it out now!

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Intimacy is important, but how do we cultivate it?

Up Next

The Pebbling Love Language: Inspired By Penguins To Transform Relationships

For some people love doesnโ€™t mean big actions and expensive presents, but rather small things matter the most to them. So hereโ€™s pebbling love language โ€“ inspired by penguins. Letโ€™s find out if you have this language of love without even knowing it.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

What I

Up Next

Can TikTokโ€™s โ€˜Meeting Someone Twice Theoryโ€™ Really Lead To Love?

Has a person ever crossed your path and then reappeared at another point in your life, causing you to feel like you have some kind of unexplainable bond with them? According to the newest idea from TikTok, Meeting Someone Twice Theory โ€“ is a meaningful thought that says love often needs a second chance.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

So letโ€™s learn how the universe