Being married to the love of your life is one of the most beautiful feelings ever. However, making a marriage last and making sure that it stands the test of time can sometimes prove to be a challenge; maybe a good kind of challenge, but a challenge nonetheless.
When you’ve tied the know with someone, there’re a few issues that can cause some serious marriage problems, unless both of you handle them well and share the same goal – having a healthy relationship with each other.
Even though these issues can bring a fair bit of tension to your relationship, trying to resolve them together by understanding each other can help you build a stronger relationship in the long run. It all depends on you and your partner, whether you’re letting your problems drive a wedge between you two or using them to come closer to each other.
In order to make sure that both of you are dealing with your marriage problems and resolving them in a healthy way, you need to know what’s really causing them. What exactly is causing problems between you two, and why? Where is it coming from? And most importantly, how can you defeat these problems and make sure they don’t end up ending your marriage?
Related: 6 Mistakes You Might Be Making In Your Relationship Right Now
5 Common Causes Of Marriage Problems And How To Resolve Them
1. Lack Of Communication.
This is probably the biggest reason behind marriage problems, and if not resolved at the right time can end up destroying your marriage for good. Negative communication and worse still, lack of communication is the source behind so many issues plaguing married couples today. Research by John Gottman suggests that couples who negatively communicate with each other have a higher chance of divorcing.
Open, honest and transparent communication is the key to a happy marriage. No matter what the situation might be, never resort to stonewalling or avoiding each other because you feel it’s ‘impossible’ to talk to them at that moment. But you need to do exactly that – talk. Talk to each other and tell each other what is bothering you or hurting you or making you angry. Unless both of you communicate with each other about your feelings, the same issues will keep on plaguing your marriage.
2. Financial Issues.
Not being on the same page when it comes to finances is another common problem that almost every married couple faces. And why does this one thing cause so many problems, you ask? It’s because whenever money is involved, especially if you are locking horns over it, unknowingly you’re engaging in a kind of power struggle with each other.
And even if that’s not the reason, you and your partner might have different opinions about how to handle your finances and that can be a source of friction.
Money can be a sensitive topic to navigate, but you need to realize that in order to have a healthy and stable marriage, you need to be on the same page. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to think alike all the time, rather it’s more about considering the other person’s financial decisions and trying to understand where they are coming from.
Don’t let financial issues and money stress destroy your marriage.
Related: How To Keep Your Marriage Happy: 5 Things To Do And 5 Things Not To Do
3. Not Being Able To Find Time For Each Other.
Life has become busier than before, hasn’t it? Work, kids, family, household chores…the responsibilities just don’t seem to end, and because you’re always busy with something or the other, you can’t seem to spend some quality time with your spouse. Spending quality time with each other is very important for having a happy and healthy marriage, and a lack of it can give rise to a host of marriage problems.
If you have extremely busy schedules and hardly spend alone time with each other, then it will just make you feel more disconnected from your spouse. The more you disconnect, the more you will fight with each other, since your understanding and compatibility are getting affected. You might fight with each other over your responsibilities, and end up making matters worse; both of you are already under a lot of stress, and this just adds to the pressure.
Responsibilities are important. Your career is important. Household chores are important. But so is your marriage. Both of you need to give your marriage the time, respect, and attention it deserves. Find time for each other even when you’re busy because having a happy marriage is only going to make your life better and you should give it an equal priority as your career and the other important things in your life.
4. Raising Children Can Take A Toll On Your Marriage Sometimes.
Raising children is a very rewarding experience, as many parents will agree. But it can be exhausting too, and not to forget, challenging. Kids can bring about a host of marriage problems and stress in both your lives. Thinking about your children’s well-being, and doing your best to give them a good life can sometimes prove to be quite emotionally and physically draining; taking care of your children and constantly trying to be a good parent can take a toll on you after some time.
Both of you might have different opinions on parenting, and what your child needs to have a happy and stable life, and honestly? That’s okay! What matters is both of you want what’s best for your child. If you are disagreeing about something, it’s not you vs your spouse, rather it’s both of you vs the problem. Always remember that.
Having children can also make it hard for you to spend some alone time with each other, and unless you work on it, this can turn out to be a huge problem. Raising your kid is important, but so is your marriage. When you are making time for your children, no matter how busy you are, do the same for your marriage too. This will not just help your relationship, in the long run, it will also teach your kids the importance of cultivating healthy relationships.
Related: Are You Ignoring Your Marriage Because You Are Too Busy Parenting?
5. Toxic Habits And Negative Thought Patterns.
Nobody in this world is perfect, and everybody has some bad along with the good, including you and your spouse. It’s okay to be imperfect but what is not okay is when you refuse to work on your bad habits and negative thought patterns, despite knowing that it’s causing marriage problems in your life. One of the key pillars of having a healthy marriage is working on the toxic habits that are threatening to disrupt your relationship, and if you don’t take it seriously, it will actually end your marriage.
If both of you meet each other halfway, by trying to understand how your negative actions are affecting the other person, then you will be able to work through any marriage problem that might crop up. When you vow to spend your life with someone, it’s important to think about how your actions are impacting them, instead of stubbornly sticking to them just because it makes you happy (albeit for a very short time!).
For example, if you are someone who likes to drink and your partner feels that you should cut back on it, then try to understand where they are coming from. At the end of the day, binge drinking is a bad habit and is not going to help you in any way, rather it can cause more problems in your marriage.
If your partner spends too much time on social media, even when they are with you, then be open about it and tell them how annoyed and alone it makes you feel. Make them understand why it’s bothering you and how you’ll appreciate it if they could stop doing that.
Want to know more about how you solve your marriage problems and build a happy marriage? Check this video out below!
Marriage problems are common and every relationship goes through its share of ups and downs, but the silver lining here is that all of these problems can be sorted by you both. Just because it’s plaguing your marriage now, that doesn’t mean it has to plague you forever.
Understand each other, listen to each other, and most importantly, respect each other and vow to work on all your marital problems together as a team and with an open mind. No marriage is perfect, but it can be a stable and healthy one if you want.
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