Confidence is an amazing quality that can make our lives better instantly. Itโs a simple shift in your mindset that can open up a whole new world of endless possibilities.
Confidence works.
It shouldnโt come as any surprise to you that Iโm itโs the biggest advocate, simply because itโs the answer to a whole heap of questions, such as โHow do I get past this fear?โ, โWhat if it all goes wrong?โ and โHow do I know Iโm ready?โ. Often though, you only really notice the difference confidence makes when you experience it, even in a fleeting moment.
Here are 23 surprising ways that confidence changes your life.
23 Beautiful Ways Confidence Changes Your Life
1. You smile more.
I smile a lot. I reckon Iโd have a serious shot at a medal if smiling was an event at the Olympics. Fact is, itโs so much easier to smile genuinely when you feel free to be yourself and are confident enough to know that youโre enough. A smile that comes from a place of ease and confidence goes a really long way.
Related: To Boost Your Confidence, Do These 3 Small Nudges
2. You get to ask for what you need.
Asking for what you need can be scarier than an extinction-level asteroid made of spiders because it means someone might say no and it means that rejectionโs in the air. But with confidence, rejection loses its power to diminish you or make you less than. Itโs just a thing that happened. So the pressureโs off; itโs okay to ask for what you need.
3. You get a fresh perspective.
Real confidence is knowing that youโre enough in this very moment, a sense that tends to shake loose some of the crap we sometimes keep close. Itโs not all about you, itโs not all about whatโs happening to you, itโs about what you get to do now.
4. Decisions ainโt so scary.
If youโve ever pondered over a decision, doubted which way to go or gone round in circles second-guessing your options, a little confidence might just help. Confidence means being able to choose your behaviour with implicit trust in that behaviour, regardless of what might happen. You get to make a good choice without the pressure of it being the โrightโ one, and you know you can always make another one.
5. You become more trustworthy.
The more naturally confident you are, the fewer walls and pretences you need to hide behind. We human beings are hardwired to sense whether someoneโs genuine or not, so the more natural and confident you are, the more inclined others will be to trust you.
Related: 30 Morning Affirmations To Boost Your Confidence Daily
6. Your expertise is really seen.
Holding back your skills and expertise is commonplace in people who donโt value or trust those skills and expertise. Itโs through the application of expertise without the need for validation that you build an amazing reputation, so confidence cracks open your expertise as nothing else can.
7. You procrastinate less.
Procrastinating is comfortable and familiar like wearing your favourite underwear. The difference is, slipping into your favourite knickers or boxers makes you feel good, whereas slipping into procrastination makes you feel less than. You procrastinate because you crave the comfort of the familiar and because taking action means breaking the status quo and straying out of your comfort zone.
Confidence cuts through those urges of self-protection and allows you to get stuck in.
8. You become more attractive.
As a single guy, meeting someone whoโs comfortable in their own skin, is generous with who they are and knows what matters to them is pretty damn hot. Arrogance and hubris remain as unattractive as drunken dock-worker with syphilis, but confidence brings with it a sense of wholeness and a willingness to be seen, and thatโs always attractive; compelling even.
9. Youโre more joyful.
It might sound overly simplistic to tell you that the fewer thoughts of โI canโtโ, โIโm not good enoughโ and โI donโt deserve itโ there are in your head, the better, but itโs hard to argue with.
You stop beating yourself up for the notion that you might not be enough, and you get to spend more time accepting who you are, noticing the simple and wonderful things around you and doing stuff that matters. Not too shabby, right?
10. You get healthier.
You might not think that your physical health has anything to do with confidence, but if youโre feeling crappy about yourself or are fighting who you are the last thing on your mind will be taking good care of yourself.
Youโre less inclined to get out there and exercise and more inclined towards behaviour that makes you feel comfortableโpatterns that become damaging habits without a healthy dose of confidence and self-acceptance.
Related: The Difference Between Narcissism And Confidence
11. Problems become lessโฆproblematic.
When the shit hits the fan, itโs hard to see (or smell) much else. In the middle of the drama, you can get drenched by the details and nuance to the point where you obsess and pontificate over every little thing. But you are not the circumstances you find yourself in, and bringing natural confidence to a problem allows you to deal with things as best you can and bring the best of who you are to the fore rather than the worst.
12. Creative outlets appear.
Weโre all creative. Itโs just that sometimes weโre too scared to allow ourselves to be creative. Creativity requires self-expression, and itโs the fear of being judged or not being up to the task that keeps you away from expressing yourself creatively.
With more confidence, youโll find that all kinds of creative outlets appear. Cooking, writing, knitting or whatever elseโitโs about showing up and expressing yourself.
13. Youโre more likely to get promoted.
Managers want to trust that people in their organisation will get a great job done and do the right thing, so if youโre a trembling wreck who says โErm, I donโt think Iโm up to itโ (either verbally or non-verbally) then itโs unlikely that youโll be around for long. Itโs people who are confident in their ability to do their best who get sweet promotions and opportunities.
14. You have a heap more fun.
Worrying is a real party-pooper. Itโs hard to let go, throw yourself into the moment and have a heap of fun if youโre worried about whatโs going to happen or what people might think. Confidence is a natural pressure valve, easing the weight of worry so youโre free to enjoy where youโre at.
15. You leave the toxic sludge behind.
Whether itโs a workplace, a relationship, a family member or a location, we all find ourselves in toxic situations that threaten to choke us. Itโs easy to think you have to put up with it or that you canโt rock the boat, but youโd be wrong. Being confident enough to let go of a toxic situation and forge your own path is one of the most important decisions you can ever make.
16. You stop chasing perfection.
Perfectionism is an infection. Itโs the voice of the oppressor, urging you to never screw up and to please everyone else. Chasing it will rob you of every chance to have the sweet, dumb, beautiful life you want, and confidence is the way to rise up and liberate yourself from the pressure of perfectionism.
Related: 29 Proven Ways To Build Your Self-Confidence
17. You stop fighting your body.
My beard now takes longer to dry than the hair on my head. The skin on my hands is starting to look like an old suitcase. Iโm getting older, but fighting the ageing process ainโt gonna make me younger any more than not believing in gravity will make me fly.
Ageing happens and your body shape is just your body shape. Those things are not who you are, and confidence allows you to let go of the urge to define yourself on the narrowest terms.
18. You look up, not down.
Ruts and grooves can be hard to clamber out of, especially if youโve spent a lot of time wearing them in. Theyโre easy, safe and comfortable, and theyโre entirely predictable. Youโll never find lifeโs riches at the bottom of a rut, so having the confidence to say โIโm more than thisโ is exactly how you get to engage with the wonderful things that truly matter to you in life.
19. You win more business.
The classic used-car salesman is full of bluster, bluff and bull and is only interested in getting you to part with your cash. Nobody likes or trusts that guy, and his competition down the street whoโs open, genuine and wants to offer you real value is going to be the guy who wins all the business.
People can spot a fake a mile away, and with natural confidence, you donโt need to pretend to be someone else to sell or market your product or service. Radiating trust and value is what wins business.
20. Nerves donโt stop you.
Nerves are powerful little blighters. Stomach-churning, heart-thumping, hands-shaking, thought-spiralling, pants-wetting. Yes, nerves are powerful, but your response to them has even more power. See them as a sign that youโre not up to a challenge and you never will be. See them as a sign that youโre onto something special and get to be at your best and they lose their power to hold you back.
Related: 7 Tips To Gain Confidence And Boost Your Self-Esteem
21. You spend less time fitting in.
Ever made a decision because you thought it was what was expected of you? Me too. Doing whatโs expected (your own expectations, other people, and even your expectations of what other people expect) is nothing more than fitting in, but with confidence, you donโt need the validation and sense of approval that comes from doing whatโs expected of you. You get to be a whole lot more you, and less what others want you to be.
22. Being introverted is no longer a problem.
Iโve worked with people who worry that being an introvert means they fundamentally lack confidence and wonโt have as good a life as an extrovert. I tell them that kind of talk is bullshit (Iโm paraphrasing here) and that introversion and confidence are not mutually exclusive.
Confidence is being able to choose your behaviour with implicit trust in that behaviour, regardless of circumstances or outcomes. Itโs how you engage with the world as you truly are, no matter whether youโre an introvert, extrovert, Pisces or a size 12.
23. You stop thinking youโre broken.
You know when life is shitty and you wonder what it is about you thatโs lacking? That feeling that youโre missing something that other people have is as misplaced as it is compelling, but it canโt survive being truly seen for what it is โ a fleeting thought that has nothing to do with everything you are. Confidence is knowing that youโre whole, no matter what happens and no matter where you are.
Steveย Erreyย is a confidence coach who helps people toย 1. Overcome crappy thinking, 2. Feel more confident and 3. Get more peace of mind. Get more atย https://confidence.coach.
Written by Steve Errey
Originally appeared in Confidence Coach
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