Why Each Zodiac Sign Calls You Crying

Calls you crying because…

ARIES: They sprained their wrist shoving their way to the front of the checkout line

TAURUS: They woke up before noon and haven’t eaten breakfast yet

GEMINI: The argument they started just for fun got personal, and now they’re single

CANCER: They thought about how lonely the last remaining black rhinoceroses must be

LEO: Someone called them tacky

VIRGO: They accidentally closed Excel without saving

LIBRA: They had to be home alone for 15 minutes

SCORPIO: They said something abrasive and now everybody’s mad at them

SAGITTARIUS: They’re tired of their job that they just started last week

CAPRICORN: They’d been burying their feelings for so long that they finally burst

AQUARIUS: There are people starving in the world, and you let your leftovers rot on the counter for two days

PISCES: They saw a baby cry on the subway

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