When We Give Up On Others, We Give Up On Ourselves

The only way to make the world a better and kinder place is by being kind to each other. If you judge others at the drop of a hat and give up on them easily, then in a way, you are giving up on yourself too.

Within the past two years, two people I know have died from drug addiction. And both times, I heard reactions like โ€œItโ€™s not surprising,โ€ โ€œI saw this coming,โ€ and the one that really gets under my skin, โ€œThis was always going to happen.โ€

This was always going to happen.ย Was it really? Okay, I can see the supposed (and heartless) logic there and why someone might feel justified in making such a comment, but I refuse to believe it. We shouldย allย refuse to believe it.

But somehow, this perception is rampant. How many times have you heard โ€“ or said โ€“ย thatโ€™s just the way she is,ย he canโ€™t help himself, orย people donโ€™t change?

When We Give Up On Others, We Give Up On Ourselves

Itโ€™s like weโ€™ve given up on each other, like somewhere along the way we stopped believing in change.

Itโ€™s ironic because we all want change in our lives. And change in the world, for that matter. We want a shorter commute to work, a job that pays better, more time for our friends, more time for our families, more time for ourselves. We wish our husbands would watch less TV, our wives wouldnโ€™t nag so much, our children would call more. We want to see a government that works, companies that care, and a world with less violence.

Well, how exactly do we expect any of that change to happen? People. It can only โ€“ and will only โ€“ happen through people.

So when we stop believing thatย peopleย can change, we stop believingย anythingย can change, ourselves included. Because change doesnโ€™t discriminate. It doesnโ€™t choose who can and canโ€™t have it. We all have a chance for change.

Related: How Accepting Things You Cannot Change Makes You Finally Free To Be Yourself

There is no set outcome in any life. There is noย this was always going to happen. The future is always changing. It is shifting with every single decision we make.

Can you change someone else? No. You donโ€™t get that choice. But you do have a choice when it comes to other people โ€“ you can choose to judge them or accept them, blame them or embrace them, give up on them or believe in them. Your decisions are about defining you, not them.

And these decisions donโ€™t live in a vacuum. They are a connection point among all of us. Call it the butterfly effect, domino effect, chaos theoryโ€ฆ the point is, we are all living this life together. We are the cause and the effect. We are the link in every chain reaction.

give up

So giving up on someone โ€“ giving up onย anyone โ€“ย no matter the circumstances, has consequences. They have an effect that doesnโ€™t help the cause.

Think about it โ€“ when faced with an obstacle โ€” any challenge, any goal, any major life change โ€” you donโ€™t need judgment. You donโ€™t need lectures. You donโ€™t need people telling you what to do, trying to create the change for you. It doesnโ€™t work like that. No one can actually make the change but you.

Related: How Showing Compassion And Kindness Is Good For Your Mental Health

The best thing anyone can do for you is to just believe in you. To know you can do it even when youโ€™re in your deepest moments of doubt. To be a light in your darkest hours. To see your better days when youโ€™re lost in the bad ones.

That is how you change other people. You change them through love and acceptance. You change them by never giving up on them, by never ceasing to believe they will find change within themselves.

You change them by changing you.


Written By Kacie Main
Originally Appeared In Thought Catalog
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