Having an open and honest conversation with a narcissist can feel like a nightmare. Most of us find communicating with narcissistic people challenging to say the least. In fact, it can leave us feeling emotionally hurt and traumatizedย at times. This is why the best way to interact with them is to not allow them into your head. Let us introduce you to the Gray Rock Rule.
โWithhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference.โ โ Mason Cooley
This is the Only Way to Communicate With a Narcissist Effectively
If you are personally or professionally involved with a narcissist in a toxic relationship and due to the circumstances, you arenโt able to make the most effective action for dealing with it (going no contact), you might find yourself struggling to have a reasonable conversation with him or her.
This is because, by nature, the narcissist is wired to instigate drama, manipulate, and generally do his best to make it all about him. This can be both exhausting and frustrating for anyone trying to deal with a narc.
The One Rule You Need to Use to Effectively Communicate With a Narcissist
A narcissistโs toolbox is full of manipulative tactics โ you would not believe how many different ways theyโll try to get what they want (not to mention how โlowโ theyโll go).
Thereโs one simple rule when it comes to communicating effectively with a narcissist โ and itโs so basic that youโll be shocked when I tell you what it is.
The rule is: do not engage the narcissist.
What do I mean by this?
Itโs simple: keep emotion out of it. When the narcissist tries to manipulate and provoke you, which he or she inevitably will, you have to maintain an air of professional-type detachment. Try to see the narcissist as almost a stranger and communicate with him on that level.
โNobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life in his own terms.โ -Elizabeth Bowen
The Gray Rock Rule
Some people refer to this rule as the โgray rockโ rule of communication. According to LoveFraud.com, you deal with the narcissist if you have to, โbut only give boring, monotonous responses so that the parasite must go elsewhere for his supply of drama.โ
By sticking to the gray rock rule, you can bet that your narcissist will lose interest quickly. Thatโs because itโll retrain his brain to consider you โboringโ and essentially, youโll no longer be an effective source of narcissistic supply.
Heโll move on and find someone else to torture if all goes as expected โ and with a narcissist, it generally does โ theyโre not especially unpredictable, believe it or not.
โSometimes itโs better to end something & try to start something new than imprison yourself in hoping for the impossible.โ โย Karen Salmansohn
Need help dealing with aย narcissistic relationship? You might enjoy my book,ย Your Love is My Drug: How to Shut Down a Narcissist, Detoxify Your Relationships & Live the Awesome Life You Really Deserve, Starting Right Now.ย
Now itโs your turn. What are the most effective ways youโve found to deal with a narcissist? Have you tried the โgray rockโ method before? Does it work for you? Share your thoughts and experiences below.ย
Hereโs an interesting video on the Gray Rock Rule that can help you get started:
By becoming emotionally unresponsive to the strategies, manipulations, lies, and attacks of the narcissist, you can effectively reduce their worth and impact in your life. The Gray Rock Rule is highly powerful in de-arming a narcissistic individual, especially when you have to interact with them on a daily basis. It will protect you from getting hurt and adversely affecting your mental and emotional well being.
No one likes to play with a boring toy. The moment you become a colorless and unreactive gray rock in their life, they will quickly shift their narcissistic focus to a new more colorful victim.
You are not here to entertain their toxicity.
Donโt engage.
Written By Angela Atkinson
Originally Published On Queenbeeing.com
You may also like:
How and Why Narcissists Try to Destroy You With Circular Conversations
How To Deal With A Narcissist In Your Life โ A Brief Guide
The 3 Kinds of Narcissists To Watch Out For and Ways To Deal With Them
Dealing with Toxic Family Members: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
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