If you thought dating trends couldn’t get any more… animated, think again. The Shrekking dating trend is named after the ogre we all (mostly) adore. But before you imagine a fairy tale romance, this is not a compliment to your potential partner!
It’s basically when you settle for someone who doesn’t meet your standards. But come on it’s 2025, isn’t that a little toxic? Well, yes. Lots of people have been doing this for ages, but it just got a name only recently.
Read More Here: Over Communication In Relationships: The Toxic Habit That Feels Healthy
So, What Is Shrekking Dating Trend?
In the dating world, Shrekking refers to dating someone you consider “below your standards.” The idea is that because you’re out of their league, you’ll hold all the power in the relationship. You might assume they’ll be more appreciative, less likely to reject you, and that you’re “safe” from heartbreak. In short, you think you can strategically “date down” and win.
The catch? It rarely works out that smoothly. The person you’re “Shrekking” may still reject you, break your heart, or prove that your assumption of superiority was totally off. In other words, you might go into a Shrekking relationship thinking you’re Shrek-ing the rules of love, only to discover love plays by its own script.
Why Are So Many People Trying This Slightly TOXIC Dating Trend?
Dating can be intimidating, and many of us want some level of control. So the Shrekking dating trend is basically a dating safety net, at least in theory. And let’s agree it’s not hard to see the appeal. So, by Shrekking, you might be minimizing risk:
- You assume your partner is less likely to hurt you emotionally.
- You feel empowered because you perceive the “power dynamic” is in your favor.
- It can be a confidence boost to think you’re more “in-demand” than your partner.
But sometimes dating below your standards can be just as devastating. So before you assume you’re dating someone ‘below your league’, you could end up being played by them. So think before you try it out. And to help you out, we’ll lay down some pros and cons for you to evaluate.
Pros of Shrekking
1. You feel more attractive in the relationship.
When you date someone you consider “below your standards,” it can give a temporary boost to your confidence. You might feel like you’re leading the relationship, making decisions, or setting the pace, which can make you feel more desirable and secure. For example, you might enjoy feeling like you’re the one choosing the dates or making plans, and that sense of control can be exciting at first.
2. Dating feels easier when you control and have the upper hand .
Since you assume the relationship is “safer,” you might feel less nervous or stressed about impressing your partner. It can be fun to relax, joke around, and not overthink every text or call. That ease can make the initial stages of dating feel lighter and more casual, like you’re testing the waters without risking too much of your heart.
3. It might help you understand what you want in a partner.
You might date someone below your league and realize that kindness, humor, or shared values matter far more than looks or social status. Even if things don’t last, Shrekking can teach you a lot about your preferences and dealbreakers. You notice what qualities really matter to you, what type of personality clicks, or what behaviors you can’t tolerate. Because a lot of people date good looking people and tolerate their bad behaviors.
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Cons of Shrekking
1. It can backfire emotionally.
Even if you think you have the upper hand, you can still get rejected, hurt, or surprised by your partner. For example, they might ghost you, set boundaries you weren’t expecting, or even end up dating someone else, leaving you feeling embarrassed or heartbroken despite your initial confidence.
2. Feels manipulative.
If your main reason for dating someone is that you think they’re “beneath” you, it can create guilt or tension. You might find yourself being less authentic or overly controlling, which can hurt the other person and make the relationship feel shallow. This can also make you reflect poorly on your own motives, leaving a sense of regret.
3. You could miss genuine connections.
Focusing on perceived “leagues” can blind you to people who might actually be a perfect match. By aiming for control over compatibility, you might pass up someone who challenges you, shares your values, or sparks real chemistry. In other words, trying to “win” the dating game can cost you the chance at a meaningful connection.
This shrekking dating trend is just a simple reminder that love doesn’t play by rules or assumptions. If you try to build relationships on strategy by “dating down”, it might feel safe or convenient for a while, but it doesn’t guarantee happiness. You have to respect, and be honest with your partner, that’s how you’ll be able to build a genuine connection.
So what are your thoughts? Have you tried this dating trend? Or are you against it? Let’s us know in the comments below!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is Shrekking meaning in dating?
This dating trend refers to dating someone you consider “below your standards.” The idea is that because you’re out of their league, they’ll be more appreciative, less likely to reject you.
What is getting shreked?
To shrek means to date someone you’re not attracted to, hoping that they’ll treat you better. And getting shreked is when someone attractive dates you even though you’re not that attractive only because they think you’ll worship them.
What does it mean if someone calls you Shrek?
“Shrek” is a slang or toxic term used to call people who are less attractive.
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