Seagulling: The New Dating Trend That’s Leaving People Emotionally Wrecked

What’s worse than someone who walks out of your life? Someone who keeps walking back in but never actually stays. Meet the dating trend where someone swoops into your life, savours your time and attention, and disappears suddenly, only to circle back the moment they’re hungry again. That’s seagulling for you!

Dating in the modern era has always been a rollercoaster ride, but lately, a new term has been making waves across social media and dating apps: seagulling. And honestly, once you get to know about it, you won’t be able to unsee it. 

It’s charming, it’s chaotic, and it’s quietly doing more damage to modern dating than ghosting ever did. Let’s explore this new dating trend that’ll definitely blow your mind! 

So, What Exactly Is Seagulling?

Seagulling is a modern dating behaviour that has taken inspiration from the bird we all know: the seagull. Sounds confusing, right? Think about a seagull swooping in, squawking loudly, leaving a mess, and flying away. That’s exactly what a “seaguller” does! 

They appear in someone’s life suddenly, often showering affection or attention, stirring up drama, and then disappearing, leaving the other person amidst emotional chaos. The “seaguller” operates with zero regard for your feelings and has absolutely no intention of sticking around.

Understanding what seagulling is becomes even clearer when you compare it to ghosting. Unlike ghosting, where someone simply vanishes, the seaguller keeps coming back every time you’ve nearly moved on. Their main agenda is to cause chaos and help themselves to whatever emotional comfort you’re offering. 

Related: The Sunset Clause: Genius Dating Hack or Relationship Red Flag?

That’s How You Can Spot a Seaguller! 

Now that you know what is seagulling, here are some tell-tale signs that can help you identify this red flag in a relationship: 

1. Sudden Intense Attention

You’ll find them suddenly bombarding you with messages, compliments, or social media reactions to create the illusion of deep interest. And this usually happens when you’ve just started feeling okay without them. 

2. Disappearing Act

Consistency is foreign to them. Just when things feel like they’re getting serious, they vanish without explanation, only to resurface weeks later.

3. Emotional Rollercoaster

The biggest red flag in a relationship is when you’re investing in someone who treats the relationship like a vending machine they can tap whenever they feel like it. Seagullers take more than they give, leaving you confused and emotionally overwhelmed. 

4. Drama Magnet

Their arrival is chaotic and often coincides with unnecessary drama and conflict. They keep things intentionally vague. Ask a seaguller where this is going and watch them transform into the world’s greatest philosopher. 

Why Do People Seagull in the First Place?

The rise of seagulling in modern dating is nothing less than scary for someone on the receiving end. A lot of this toxic pattern comes from avoidant attachment styles or simply a habit of taking the path of least emotional resistance. 

Such people enjoy connection but don’t want the responsibility and commitment that comes with it. Moreover, the swipe culture in dating has made long-term connections sound like a joke. 

There’s also an element of ego in play. Seagullers enjoy the drama and excitement that comes with the emotional power they have on others. Keeping several people on the hook simultaneously is practically a sport for them. 

And social media has made it worse. The ability to “like” an old photo at 1 am or to resurface in someone’s DM after three months of silence creates an addictive, frustrating pattern.

The Emotional Toll of Seagulling is Real

While this new dating trend might seem entertaining from the outside, it can take a serious emotional toll. People who experience seagulling often tell of: 

• Confusion and Anxiety – Mixed signals that make it hard to understand the relationship’s status. 

• Lowered Self-Esteem – Over time, this toxic cycle chips away at your self-worth, making you second-guess why you weren’t special enough to make them stay. 

• Emotional Burnout – Constant emotional ups and downs leave you emotionally exhausted in a state of romantic limbo. You’re too attached to move on cleanly and too uncertain to invest further.

Tired of the Emotional Rollercoaster? Here’s How to Handle a Seaguller

Handling this red flag in a relationship is no joke. You need a combination of boundaries, awareness, and self-respect. Here’s what you can do:

• Set Clear Boundaries – Naming the pattern is often the most powerful thing you can do. The moment you call it what it is, you won’t be tolerating emotional inconsistency. 

• Trust Your Instincts – If something feels off, it probably is. Stop making excuses for someone else’s behaviour. 

• Communicate Honestly – Seagulling often persists because you’re too afraid to communicate openly. Express your feelings and expectations clearly, even if it means losing the connection entirely. 

• Limit Contact – Sometimes the best thing you can do is to step back entirely. Avoid feeding the chaos by engaging repeatedly. 

Related: Gen Z’s ‘Floodlighting’ Dating Trend—Are You Guilty Of Oversharing Too Soon?

Final Takeaway: Choosing Better Love

Modern dating comes with new labels every week, but emotions behind them remain timeless. More than just a new dating trend, seagulling is a reflection of how easily connections can become careless in a fast-swiping world. 

Attention without intention can leave you in confusion disguised as romance. But is that worth all the drama? Nope! At the end of the day, dating should be enjoyable, not emotionally draining. 

So the next time a seaguller enters your life, let them fly away for good! 

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