Relationship With A Vulnerable Narcissist

A vulnerable narcissist might seem like a very confident, and self-assured person with an extremely inflated self-image, but the truth is anything but that. Underneath all the bravado, there is a lot of insecurity that they try very hard to mask.

Narcissists relate to others in some highly problematic ways. The very manner in which they perceive themselves and look upon others impairs true intimacy and depth in relationships. Narcissists come in two main varieties. (See: Ways Vulnerable Narcissists Relate.) And relationships with vulnerableย narcissists can be particularly challenging when it comes to intimacy.

What Vulnerable Narcissists Crave

Some call vulnerable narcissists the โ€œcompensatoryโ€ type. Thatโ€™s because the inflated image they project masks an underlying insecurity.

In their insecurity,

  • they seek to be admired.
  • they frequently fish for recognition and praise.
  • they seem to need constant reassurance.
  • and they constantly compare themselves to others.
  • it matters to them how you think they stack up against the competition.
  • andย theyโ€™re not happy unless they think theyโ€™re at the top of the heap.

Relationships with any narcissist suffer because itโ€™s always about them. Theyโ€™re so wrapped up in themselves and their desires that thereโ€™s no room to consider others. And because they canโ€™t really concern themselves with you or your needs, intimacy suffers.

Related: When A Narcissist Tells You You Are Hard To Love

What Vulnerable Narcissistsโ€™ Relationship Partners Crave

From our earliest days, we humans crave intimacy. Infants canโ€™t evenย thrive withoutย close physical and emotional contact. And this need for human โ€œconnectionโ€ never goes away. In fact, our need intimacy needs only appear to grow over our lifetimes. The biggest single complaint hurting relationship partners have, is a loss of closeness.

Pay attentionย to them or give them positive strokes, and vulnerable narcissists can act like they really value you.

But ask something of them โ€“ especially caring concern for your wants and needs, and itโ€™s another matter entirely. They donโ€™t know how to be close. Thatโ€™s because they donโ€™t know how to care. They canโ€™t step outside themselves and their own wants and needs. And that means they canโ€™t concern themselves withย the needs of another. This leaves their relationship partners starving for affection.

Folks can contact the author best by going to the blog atย Dr.ย George Simonย โ€“ Author, Public Speaker, Consultant, Character Development Coach, Composerย and using the โ€œContact Dr.ย Simonโ€ tab on the contact page.


Written by Dr. George Simon
Originally appeared on Dr. George Simon
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