A vulnerable narcissist might seem like a very confident, and self-assured person with an extremely inflated self-image, but the truth is anything but that. Underneath all the bravado, there is a lot of insecurity that they try very hard to mask.
Narcissists relate to others in some highly problematic ways. The very manner in which they perceive themselves and look upon others impairs true intimacy and depth in relationships. Narcissists come in two main varieties. (See: Ways Vulnerable Narcissists Relate.) And relationships with vulnerableย narcissists can be particularly challenging when it comes to intimacy.
What Vulnerable Narcissists Crave
Some call vulnerable narcissists the โcompensatoryโ type. Thatโs because the inflated image they project masks an underlying insecurity.
In their insecurity,
- they seek to be admired.
- they frequently fish for recognition and praise.
- they seem to need constant reassurance.
- and they constantly compare themselves to others.
- it matters to them how you think they stack up against the competition.
- andย theyโre not happy unless they think theyโre at the top of the heap.
Relationships with any narcissist suffer because itโs always about them. Theyโre so wrapped up in themselves and their desires that thereโs no room to consider others. And because they canโt really concern themselves with you or your needs, intimacy suffers.
Related: When A Narcissist Tells You You Are Hard To Love
What Vulnerable Narcissistsโ Relationship Partners Crave
From our earliest days, we humans crave intimacy. Infants canโt evenย thrive withoutย close physical and emotional contact. And this need for human โconnectionโ never goes away. In fact, our need intimacy needs only appear to grow over our lifetimes. The biggest single complaint hurting relationship partners have, is a loss of closeness.
Pay attentionย to them or give them positive strokes, and vulnerable narcissists can act like they really value you.
But ask something of them โ especially caring concern for your wants and needs, and itโs another matter entirely. They donโt know how to be close. Thatโs because they donโt know how to care. They canโt step outside themselves and their own wants and needs. And that means they canโt concern themselves withย the needs of another. This leaves their relationship partners starving for affection.
Folks can contact the author best by going to the blog atย Dr.ย George Simonย โ Author, Public Speaker, Consultant, Character Development Coach, Composerย and using the โContact Dr.ย Simonโ tab on the contact page.
Written by Dr. George Simon Originally appeared on Dr. George Simon
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