Zodiac Signs As A King/Queen

Aries: One two three I declare a war on ‘flips coin’ England.  

Taurus: And uh, to celebrate um, the third day this week without rain, We Shall Feast!  

Gemini: the King of Spain to fuck with me because I don’t care about his trading policy.

Cancer: Have a town meeting. I want to hold every newborn baby.  

Leo: Let’s dedicate an entire month to my birthday and get turnt every night. Feast for everyone even peasants!!!  

Virgo: Shhhhh leave me alone, I am planning my next World War.  

Libra: I’d Iike to meet all of the other monarchs and I need a new dress and let’s have a ball tonight!  

Scorpio: Everyone in the kingdom wants to kill me or fuck me #true  

Sagittarius: National Get Shit Faced Day, am I right???  

Capricorn: Public Executions Motherfucker  

Aquarius: Name all the planets in the solar system after me right now.  

Pisces: Don’t want to go to war, can everyone please be happy? Look at how many kitties there are in my palace!!!