When The Zodiac Signs Get Bad News

ARIES: Blows off steam by getting worked up about something else

TAURUS: Retreats for a week to lick their wounds in private

GEMINI: Laughs at themselves so nobody will take it too seriously

CANCER: Posts a cryptic status hoping people reach out to check-in

LEO: Keeps it to themselves until they’ve figured out how to spin it in a way that doesn’t hurt their self-image

VIRGO: Pulls an all-nighter to figure out how their plan went wrong

LIBRA: Covers both of their ears while humming an upbeat tune

SCORPIO: Short-circuits over the momentary loss of control

SAGITTARIUS: Embarks on an Eat-Pray-Love journey to process everything

CAPRICORN: Vows to come back stronger than ever, so they don’t lose again

AQUARIUS: Shouts it from the rooftops so everyone can finally see how much of a victim they are

PISCES: Was planning on spending their day wallowing anyways