How The Zodiac Signs Seeks Attention

ARIES: Making a huge deal about being a tiny bit sick.

TAURUS: Repeatedly insisting that they’re fine and don’t need attention.

GEMINI: Being a contrarian even when they don’t actually believe what they’re saying.

CANCER: Inserting themselves into a conflict that has nothing to do with them and then lamenting how overwhelmed they are.

LEO: Telling the same pre-rehearsed sob story to each of their friends one by one to maximize the sympathy.

VIRGO: Announcing their dietary restrictions out of context.

LIBRA: Texting a nostalgic photo to an ex they haven’t talked to in years.

SCORPIO: Showing up where they’re not invited.

SAGITTARIUS: Posting about all the books they’re “reading”.

CAPRICORN: Self-negging about how much of a failure they are.

AQUARIUS: Quoting philosophers only they have heard of.

PISCES: Vague-posting emo song lyrics on social media.