How The Zodiac Signs Got Tricked Into Joining A Cult!
How they got tricked into a cult
ARIES: Needed to prove that they could be the most devout
TAURUS: Heard the ceremonies involve soothing epsom salt baths
GEMINI: Just wanted to meet new people
CANCER: Responded to a Craigslist post looking for “like-minded roommates who feel like family”
LEO: The recruiting process made them feel special
VIRGO: Memorized the sacred texts in case there was a pop quiz later
LIBRA: Kept “just hearing them out” until they found themselves planning the meetings
SCORPIO: Believed they could stage a coup and become the leader but they haven’t gotten around to it yet
SAGITTARIUS: Their old friends were tired of arguing about the meaning of life
CAPRICORN: Really respected everyone’s dedication to the cause
AQUARIUS: Realized the anti-government ideologies aligned with their own
PISCES: Accidentally convinced everybody that they’re the chosen one
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