Ever been head over heels, only to question if he’s genuinely reciprocating? Let’s decode the signs he is not in love with you and it’s just for convenience, because not every guy mirrors your love.
Ironically even the most honest and purest of all ‘love’ is now being faked with ease. This one is quite tricky, differentiating a real relationship from one which stinks of lust, betrayal, or just convenience.
A real relationship requires lots of effort, raw emotions, and honesty. An affair sounds to be an easy deal but a real relationship is always better than a fake one in the long run. Those who just want to get in your pants don’t have the balls to put in the efforts, because they do not have any kind of emotional depth. Loyalty is not everyone’s cup of tea.
Not everyone who says those cheesy words actually loves you. Love requires efforts and not everyone is ready for that. People can manipulate you and make you feel that they are the ones for you and their love is true.
But the sad truth is that they could care less about your feelings, and they only care about what they can get from you. They are people who will exploit you completely, and when they will get what they want, they will cast you aside.
Love Or Convenience? 10 Signs He Is Not In Love With You
1. You don’t know each other’s family or friends.
When someone genuinely loves you and wants to have a life with you, they will always want you to meet their family and friends. And not just meet, they would hope and wish that you would gel well with them.
Not introducing you to his parents and friends even after months of being in a relationship can only mean two things – he doesn’t see a future with you and wants to break up or he was never interested in you, it was all for sexual gains.
You know you are a convenience for him when he refuses to take you home, even when you request countless times for the same.
Related: 6 Signs You Are in A Fake Relationship
2. There are no lovely memories.
Love is an exceptional feeling and if you feel anything less than amazing, is it even love? If your relationship is like any other day of your single life and there isn’t anything that touches you or makes you laugh or gives you any special feeling then that is not a real relationship.
There has to be something, anything! The times you laughed together at silly jokes, some silly nicknames, or anything. It doesn’t need to be a big event or adventure, it can be any small moment that brought you closer.
If sex is the only thing that reminds you of them, then there is something definitely wrong. Sex is important, but it should not be the only thing driving a relationship; there are so many more things that are more important than sex.
3. Poor or no communication.
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If you don’t remember when was the last time you both talked to each other properly and had a heart to heart conversation, then you’re not really in love. You have a right to know what’s happening in your partner’s life because you are a part of his life!
You ought to have those 2 am conversations once in a while. You ought to talk about your deepest feelings sometimes. You ought to be vulnerable, and open to them at times. If you come to know their how and where about from social media and even their birthday from Facebook, your relationship cannot be real.
Your conversations shouldn’t be limited to what sexual adventure you fantasize about or anything that revolves around sex, because real love is much more than that.
4. Sex, sex, and sex.
This is the obvious one. If sex is the only thing that makes you feel connected with each other, but when it comes to communication you are clueless, then you need to take a step back and take a long, hard look at your relationship. If sex is the only thing that makes you feel in sync or connected then you are not in a real relationship.
A real relationship is about true and raw emotions, passion, love, trust, and not just passion in bed. If sex is the only thing that is keeping you both together, then you are in a ‘Friends with benefits’ relationship.
When you are with a man like this, then you will see that they will sweep you off your feet in the beginning, and make you feel like the most beautiful and special woman in the world. But as time will go by, they will start losing interest, till the point when they will simply ignore you.
Related: Why You’re Only As Troubled As The Relationship You’re In
5. Ego comes before love.
Relationships are always full of ups and downs, but when love reigns supreme, any battle can be won and any obstacle can be overcome. When you are with the right man, you will be able to handle every situation that you will face. But if you are with a man who acts as he loves you, but actually doesn’t, then he will always put his ego before you and the relationship.
Letting go of ego is essential for any relationship. If being always right matters more to your partner, then there is something wrong with the relationship. If all he cares about is proving his point, more than your happiness, then he will never be able to give you the respect you truly deserve.
If a person can let go of their ego and look at the bigger picture, just for you, there is no other person more right for you than this one.
6. Breakups keep on happening.
This is one of the biggest signs that he’s not in love with you. If he keeps on breaking up with you, every time there is an argument or a fight, then he is not at all serious about you; he is just looking for a way out of the relationship. The right man will never give up on you, just because you had an argument. He will always try to resolve things to the best of his abilities.
When a man considers you as a convenience, he will break up with you every minute, disappear for a few days with zero contact, and then come back crawling to you and expect to be taken back without any questions. He knows very well how much you love him, and he will keep on using that to his advantage.
He believes that it’s better to keep you on the side for some regular sex, without any of the commitment.
7. Talking about the future is a huge no-no.
When your man refuses to talk about the future with you, and always avoids it whenever you bring it up, know that he is not the one for you. Real love means planning a future together, instead of running away from it. Real love means wanting to spend your lives together with each other. If this is not happening, then you are with the wrong person.
Accept the fact that he is not serious about you, when all he ever does is dodge questions about moving in together, or getting married. You deserve someone who will want to give you the world, and someone who can’t wait to be with you forever.
Related: 9 Signs You’re In A Right Relationship
8. Everything happens according to him.
There are always two people in a relationship, not one. Then why does it feel like only he matters, and his needs, and wants matter?
When everything happens according to his whims and fancies, and your needs are never considered, maybe it’s time to pack up your bags and leave. If your partner cannot put you first sometimes, then he is not the one for you.
Every date, every plan, every phone call, every conversation, every text – everything must happen when HE wants it to happen. You need to exist according to his schedule, but he will never do the same for you. You will always be waiting for him to call you or ask you out, but when you want to make plans with him, he just disappears.
It’s as if he has this whole other life, but you are not a part of it. You are simply an afterthought.
9. Being hot and cold is his signature move.
When a man is exploiting you, and taking advantage of you, the one thing he always does is keep on manipulating you. One day he will be this perfect man who makes you feel like the most loved woman on the face of the earth and will go out of his way to make you happy. But, the very next day he will behave as if he could not even care less about you.
Even if he apologizes to you for his behavior, chances are he is only doing it because he needs something from you. He is simply using your feelings to do what he wants to do, without having to be accountable to you. He will keep on doing the same thing over and over again because he knows that you will always forgive him.
This hot and cold attitude will just end up breaking your heart and spirit further.
10. He is never there to support you.
When a man is using you, he will never be there to support you in any way. He will never care about your well-being. He will never be there to help sort out problems. He will never even try to understand what you are going through.
If you are going through a bad time in your life, he will not make a single effort to try and cheer you up; he will simply leave you alone to handle everything.
If you are with someone like this, then this is one of the biggest signs that he’s not in love with you. Despite you always being there for him through his ups and downs, he will never show any kind of concern, compassion, or thoughtfulness towards you.
He will expect you to be there for him all the time, but he will never do the same for you.
If you see all these signs then know that he is not in love with you. This might be hard to accept, but it is what it is. You deserve better, and you deserve someone who will give you what you truly deserve in love. Wait for him, and you will see what you have been missing out on.
Love or convenience, never let your self-worth be dependent on how someone makes you feel!
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