Unhealthy Emotional Attachment: 5 Effective Tips to Identify

Have you ever found yourself desperate to stay in a relationship or do whatever it takes to keep it going? These can be signs of an unhealthy emotional attachment.

Emotional attachment makes our relationships meaningful and fulfilling. Sharing our lives and happiness with someone close is very satisfying. However, there’s a thin line between a healthy partnership and an unhealthy attachment. When attachment becomes excessive, it can turn toxic and harm our well-being.

Let’s explore how to recognize and understand unhealthy emotional attachment, and learn how to maintain healthy, balanced relationships.

What is Emotional Attachment at Its Core?

Basically, what creates emotional attachment is bonding. Our emotions are the reason why we connect with people, animals, places, things, or even dates.

Emotional attachments involve feelings of security, defensiveness, acceptance, warmth, reliability, and optimism. Also, the growth factor is associated with healthy emotional connection.

What are the Signs of an Unhealthy Emotional Attachment?

Being unable to emotionally connect might make you tense, aloof, inflexible, and concerned about your capacity for love or connection. On the other hand, putting excessive effort into a relationship and getting the bare minimum in return may also drain you and make your life toxic.

So, how can you understand that you have a toxic emotional attachment? Check the below discussion:

1. You are Depending too Much on Your Partner’s Decisions

Overdependence is a crucial aspect of unhealthy emotional bonds. As an individual, you must possess distinct qualities and abilities to judge things on your own. Your intuitive nature should be awakened to handle day-to-day things and often bigger decisions.

Of course, you can ask for guidance from your partner but it should not seem that you are solely depending on them. You might find yourself unable to make decisions without their input or feel lost when they’re not around.

Read More: 10 Signs Of An Emotional Masochist: How To Know If You’re One

2. You Lower Your Self-Esteem and Ask for Continuous Validation

This is one of the most common traits of a toxic emotional attachment. When you depend entirely on a relationship to determine your value, worth, and lovability, you are exhibiting unhealthy emotional attachment.

If you develop an unhealthy emotional attachment, this bond may cause self-critical thoughts, melancholy, or worries about your capacity for self-love.

3. You Fail to Create Self-Boundaries

Mostly in an unhealthy attachment, personal boundaries become indistinct. In trying to please the other person, you may neglect your own well-being or tolerate being mistreated by them. This creates room for emotional burnout and resentment which can ruin everything.

Thus, creating self-boundaries is vital for a peaceful relationship. Unhindered partners grow optimally in such relationships.

Read More: 12 Signs Of An Emotionally Unstable Person To Watch Out For

4. There is Jealousy and Over-Possessiveness

Feeling a bit of jealousy is natural, but when it becomes a constant emotion, it’s problematic. The end result of an unhealthy attachment often turns into possessiveness where people misjudge that their loved ones are spending time apart from them. It can break your relationship and make someone very controlling too.

Such behaviors suffocate your partner and spoil trust and respect which are the pillars of any healthy relationship.

5. You Feel Fear of Abandonment

Additionally, extreme fear of abandonment or being alone may be a sign of an unhealthy emotional bond. Such fear might drive you to cling to someone even if the relationship is no longer serving you. 

In addition, these fears may cause us to constantly check in on them by calling them too often or sending excessive messages. This creates an imbalance within the relationship and generates anxiety.

Why Do We Keep Holding on Unhealthy Attachments?

When we become connected in a toxic relationship, the first thing we frequently ask ourselves is, “Why can’t we let go if it is unhealthy?” Essentially, the issue is that we are unsure if we truly want to.

Sure, given the circumstances, we might feel worn out. We could be agitated, embarrassed, ashamed, and angry at ourselves. But even though we won’t confess it to ourselves, there is a part of us that doesn’t want to.

Read More: 10 Warning Signs You’re Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted

So, How Can You Come Out of an Unhealthy Attachment or Resolve It?

Attachment theory brings out that there are multiple types of emotional connections that you can indulge in. You can also be a part of a toxic one unknowingly. So, Here are a few tips to come out of a toxic emotional attachment:

• See things as they are without being overtly biased toward your partner
• Take time to understand your feelings. 
• Setting and maintaining personal boundaries is crucial.
• Engage in activities that you enjoy and that make you feel fulfilled.
• You should consider communicating clearly to get a healthy relationship.

Avoid Unhealthy Attachments and Become Happy from Within

Unhealthy emotional attachment is a serious issue that may turn into extremely harmful. If you recognize any sign of such attachments, you should talk with your partner, resolve matters, and if necessary seek professional help. Remember, attachments are for nurturing you; settle for nothing less.

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