How Narcissistic Women Use Pregnancy To Control Their Victims

Narcissistic Women Use Pregnancy To Control Victims 2

No matter how disturbing and wrong this might sound, sometimes, narcissistic women use pregnancy to control their victims, namely their ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends. When a female narcissist doesnโ€™t see any other way of getting them back, they fall back on pregnancy to manipulate them. From faking a pregnancy to lying about a pregnancy, they can do it all.

KEY POINTS โ€“

Pregnancies can be planned in order to keep a breakup or divorce from happening.
Narcissistic women may lie about their birth control or seduce partners at specific times to plan a pregnancy.
Women can use children or pregnancy to their advantage to hurt their partners or trap them in a relationship.

Pregnancy can be one of the scariest and most exhilarating periods in a womanโ€™s life. Men today have become more involved in pregnancy, family planning, and childrearing, as compared to previous generations. Whereas many pregnancies are carefully planned or at least a joint decision, surprise or unilaterally unwanted pregnancies add tension and confusion to relationships.

This is especially true if the relationship is on the rocks or one partner is adamantly against children. But what happens when a pregnancy is planned as a method of controlling the wayward partner?

Narcissists will only engage in relationships for the benefits. For example, narcissistic women may latch on to a new partner and get married to take advantage of benefits, money, status, or prestige.

Pregnancy and childrearing are also important and profitable bargaining tools in a relationship and breakup/divorce. In most states, child support is increased per child of the union, and mothers are overwhelmingly granted majority custody, thus resulting in higher child support awards. This makes for an easy payout for narcissistic mothers.

Related: Female Narcissist Signs: 7 Signs Of Narcissistic Women

Narcissism and the โ€œsurpriseโ€ pregnancy

Faking a pregnancy or planning a โ€œsurpriseโ€ pregnancy is sadly not unheard of, especially if the narcissist is not the one to initiate the breakup.

James, now 50, recalls when he and his then-wife were in the initial stages of separating. He initiated the first separation, and then his partner not only announced that she was pregnant but that she was getting an abortion.

โ€œI immediately told her we would work it out, that I wanted that child,โ€ he says. โ€œShe changed her tune and we got back together, but we ended up divorcing anyway when our daughter was a few years old. My ex never changed her ways; she kept cheating and stuck out the marriage longer to get a better alimony payout.โ€

Pregnancies can be unplanned surprises but can also be opportunities for exploitation and financial benefit.

narcissistic women use pregnancy

Joe and his then-wife, Mary, were separated and living apart after Mary had admitted to cheating with a friend. A few months after the separation, Mary called him and invited him over to talk about the divorce and see her son/Joeโ€™s stepson. One thing led to another, and they slept together. After a few weeks of silence, Mary called to tell him she was pregnant.

โ€œI was so happy about the baby. We had been trying to get pregnant for a while before I found out she was cheating, but it just never happened. She blamed me for never getting pregnant and it caused so much tension and drama between us. Then, suddenly after one time, she was pregnant, and she told me to not bother with a condom since she was on the Pill. It seemed too good to be true and too convenient, but I ignored the bad feelings.โ€

Related: The Female Facade: Female Narcissists May Be Statistically Uncommon, But Highly Dangerous

Joe and Mary got back together but the good times didnโ€™t last very long. โ€œA month after the baby was born, I moved out again and refiled the divorce papers. She had admitted that she just didnโ€™t want to be single and pregnant again like she was with her first child.โ€ Not only was Mary getting child support from her sonโ€™s father, but now she was getting extra child support from Joe for their child as well as spousal maintenance.

Michael had been happily involved with a new girlfriend of a few weeks when his ex told him she was pregnant. โ€œWe had slept together one time a month priorโ€ฆand the first thing she demanded was that I tell my new girlfriend and that I break up with her.โ€

Michael insisted that the divorce proceedings continue and that he would support his exโ€™s choice to either continue the pregnancy or terminate, but that they would not get back together. โ€œMy new girlfriend was surprisingly supportive, and she told me that she couldnโ€™t be angry about something that happened before she was in the pictureโ€ฆthis infuriated my ex-wife.

The last time I slept with my ex had been a huge mistake and a terrible lack of judgment, but she assured me she was on birth controlโ€ฆwhen I told my ex I was not going back to her, baby or no baby, she had a sudden miscarriage at home, and then was furious when I did not run to comfort her or bring her dinner.โ€

Babies and pregnancies do not need to be planned in order to be loved and wanted. But children born to narcissists are simply a means to an end or another method of gaining and maintaining control. Children of narcissists are simply the extension of the self; they are not separate beings but exist to complement the parent.

Children become dollar signs, photo ops, and a means of manipulation of the other parent. The child will be dragged through court, used as a prop to attack the mean, hateful father who left them, or create part of the backdrop for the martyred mother left to struggle alone.

Remember that narratives are deeply important to narcissists, and a narcissistic woman will use anything to her advantage to illuminate herself and vilify the father.

For the narcissist, a pregnancy, whether real or faked, is a method of entrapment. It will keep her in a manโ€™s life for at least 18 years and cause a lifetime of emotional abuse. It is entirely possible for a woman to track her monthly cycle and identify the most fertile days which increases her chances of getting pregnant.

Birth control is a private and individual choice and has no way of being proven that it is being used properly or at all. In many cases of surprise pregnancies while on hormonal birth control, it turns out the woman was lying.

โ€œAfter she told me she was pregnant, I confronted her about the apparent failure of the birth control,โ€ recalls Joe. โ€œShe said she was on antibiotics for a cold, or that she must have forgotten to take the pill that day.โ€

Related: An Open Letter To All The Female Narcissists And Manipulators

Although far-fetched, it is easy to download photos of positive tests from the internet as well as purchase actual pregnancy tests from legitimately pregnant women (Silvers, 2021). It may sound crazy to non-narcissists, but to narcissists, anything is considered rational and perfectly sane if it allows them to stay in control.

Female narcissists manipulate their own reproductive systems and their own children in order to maintain their power. Having a child with a narcissist binds you for life, with little or no room for freedom. After the child is born, then comes the manipulation of the court systems, finances, and lawyers.

A narcissist doesnโ€™t want to have children with you because they love you; they want children with you as a way of permanently holding the reins and keeping you in check, controlling your life, and competing for even more love and affection.

Want to know more about how narcissistic women use pregnancy to keep men in control? Check this video out below!

References:

Silvers, A. (2021). 8 red flags the pregnancy is a trap.ย www.annsilvers.com/blog/news/8-red-flags-the-pregnancy-is-a-trap

Written By Kristy Lee Hochenberger
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
Narcissistic Women Use Pregnancy To Control Victims pin

— Share —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

5 Strategies to Deal with a Compulsive Attention Seeker

How To Deal with a Compulsive Attention Seeker Strategies

Dealing with a compulsive attention seeker can be exhausting, leaving you feeling drained and overwhelmed. Understanding their behavior and learning how to manage your responses is key to maintaining healthy relationships and preserving your own well-being.

Not getting ample attention causes real harm; loneliness is a sad and silent killer (see โ€œ10 Tips that Can Help You Get Past Lonelinessโ€). On the other hand, receiving incessant attention can cause huge problems for both the demanding person and the community.

The demanding person might grow increasingly dependent on external attention and develop a shallow and unstable sense of self. Usually, this causes anx

Up Next

Do You Have A Toxic Sister In Law? 6 Signs and How to Manage the Situation

Toxic Sister In Law? Signs and How to Manage the Situation

Dealing with a toxic sister in law can feel like walking on eggshells, leaving you drained and frustrated. Whether it’s constant criticism, subtle manipulation, or creating drama, the signs of a toxic sister in law aren’t always obvious at first but can wreak havoc on family dynamics over time.

If you’re feeling stuck in an exhausting relationship and wondering if it’s more than just personality clashes, youโ€™re not alone.

In this article, weโ€™ll explore what is a toxic sister in law, some common red flags and behaviors that may help you recognize if she is being problematic, and what you can do to protect your peace.

Related:

Up Next

Divorcing A Narcissist? How To Build The Perfect Strategy For This

Divorcing A Narcissist? How To Build The Perfect Strategy

Are you in the process of divorcing a narcissist? Divorcing a narcissistic spouse is one of the toughest situations to be in. This article is going to talk about why it’s important to have a strategy when it comes to divorcing a narcissist and the best way to deal with the whole process.

Divorcing a narcissist can be one of the most challenging and emotionally draining experiences a person can go through.

Narcissists are often manipulative, vindictive, and unwilling to cooperate during divorce proceedings. This can make the process even more difficult and stressful than it would be otherwise.

Related:

Up Next

7 Covert Put Downs for Narcissists: How They Subtly Tear You Down

Covert Put Downs for Narcissists: Sneaky, Silent Insults

Narcissists have a sneaky way of making you feel small without ever saying anything outright mean. These subtle jabs, also known as covert put downs for narcissists, are their go-to move for keeping control and making themselves feel superior.

Ever had someone say something that felt off, but you couldn’t quite figure out why it stung? Thatโ€™s probably a covert put down.

In this piece, we’re breaking down five types of these sneaky little insults narcissists love to use, so you can spot them and not fall for their mind games next time!

Related: 7 Things Covert Narcissists Say To Control

Up Next

10 Signs You Might Be Dealing With A Know It All Personality (And How To Manage Their Antics)

Signs Of A Know It All Personality And How To Deal

We all know that one person in the group who always has to have the last word or jump in with a fact, that no one even asked for in the first place. They will go out of their way to tell you exactly how something works, even if itโ€™s not at all necessary. Well, thatโ€™s a know it all personality for you, my friend.

You know what? Being knowledgeable is great and all, but when it starts feeling like a lecture every time you talk to them, it can feel really, really annoying.

Today we are going to discuss in detail what makes a person a know it all, the signs of a know it all, and how do you deal with a know it all.

Letโ€™s start with what makes a person a know it all.

Up Next

Narcissistic Deflection: 10 Sneaky Ways They Spin the Truth to Fool You

Narcissistic Deflection Ways They Spin the Truth to Fool You

Narcissistic deflection is a sneaky tactic narcissists use to dodge responsibility and turn the tables when they’re caught in a lie or confronted about their behavior. If you’ve ever felt like youโ€™re stuck in a conversation where your issues get twisted or ignored, chances are you’re dealing with narcissistic deflection.

Itโ€™s a mind game that can leave you questioning everything. But donโ€™t worryโ€”once you know how to spot it, you can stop them from pulling the wool over your eyes.

Today, we are going to talk about deflection tactics used by narcissists, what is the meaning of deflection and why do narcissists deflect in the first place.

Let’s start with trying to understand the meaning of deflection.

Up Next

How to Respond to a Manipulative Apology: 7 Ways You Can Turn the Tables on Emotional Manipulation

Ways to Handle a Manipulative Apology

Manipulative apologies are tricky; they sound like remorse but actually aim to shift blame, guilt-trip, or control the situation. Learning how to respond to a manipulative apology is crucial to maintaining emotional balance and protecting your well-being.

Always remember that apology without change is manipulative, and the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you and emotional well-being.

Letโ€™s dive into what is a manipulative apology, how does a narcissist apologize and how to respond to a manipulative apology, so that you can handle these situations with confidence, and not get caught in an emotional trap.

Related: