Why do we accept it when the sparks in a relationship fade? We shrug our shoulders and say, “That’s just the way it is.” We’ve convinced ourselves that relationships are doomed to monotony, less sexuality, and a complete lack of romance. I call bullshit and refuse to believe it’s true.
Of course, you can’t expect a relationship to stay the same as it was in the beginning. The initial rush of getting to know someone subsides and the butterflies begin to settle down. However, this is the time when you’re able to connect deeper, more personally, and really get to know someone. Just because things change doesn’t mean they have to be any less spectacular.
I know couples that have been together for almost their entire adult lives and are happier and more passionate than ever. They flirt, laugh, and their flame still burns hot each and every day. So what about these couples make them so different from you and me? Do they have a mysterious relationship mojo that we don’t? It seems every successful long-term couple I’ve encountered has a consistent factor:
1. They work at it and refuse to give up.
They understand the importance of keeping things fresh and avoiding routine. They enjoy talking and communicating their feelings extensively to work through issues together. They make time for date night and adventure to find new things they like. They send flirty texts back and forth to build sexual tension. They touch daily and remind each other of their love.
2. They have spectacular sex, experiment, and share desires.
They still dress up and want to look hot for each other. Rather than doing Saturday movie night every week, they’ll go out to a cocktail lounge or have a night of sexy dancing at a club. On a free Sunday, they get in the car and drive until they find a place to have a romantic picnic. They often find ways to surprise each other – whether it’s special meals, small gifts, or making love by candlelight.
I get it, life is stressful sometimes. You have work, bills, errands, maybe children, and a boatload of other problems to worry about. None of these responsibilities is an excuse to let a connection fizzle out if you care about the health of your relationship. There’s always a way to make time and if you don’t, the consequences can be permanent.
Don’t settle for anything less than amazing in your relationships. With a little effort, a great relationship has plenty of room to grow and stay interesting. You shouldn’t worry about the honeymoon ends, but rather feel encouraged for the time ahead to know your partner inside and out.
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- The Choices of Connection: How To Make Your Relationship Meaningful
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