If you’ve ever spent hours analyzing a dry, one-word text like “lol,” I hate to break it to you, but… he’s just not that into you. It sounds harsh, I know, but wouldn’t you rather face the truth than waste your time? But don’t take my word for it, there is actually a whole movie on this—He’s Just Not That Into You (which, by the way, is a must-watch).
The film dives into every dating disaster you can imagine. There’s the woman holding out hope that a married man will leave his wife. The girl waiting by her phone for a guy who clearly couldn’t care less. And the girlfriend who dreams of a ring while her boyfriend treats commitment like a trap. Through all these messy situations, one thing stands out: when someone wants to be with you, they make it obvious. No mixed signals. No decoding required.
It’s easy to make excuses—”Maybe they’re just busy” or “Maybe they’re bad at texting.” But here’s the truth: if they wanted to talk to you, they would. If they wanted to see you, they’d make the effort. You deserve someone who doesn’t leave you questioning your worth or waiting for a love that isn’t there.
So, the next time you’re tempted to justify someone’s half-hearted efforts, remember this: You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking the wrong person. On that note, here are 8 relationship lessons “He’s Just Not That Into You’ teaches us:
8 Relationship Tips From ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’
If He Wants To Be With You, He’ll Make It Happen
Remember when Gigi (played by Ginnifer Goodwin) was convinced that men just don’t call because they’re “mysterious”? Alex (played by Justin Long) quickly put that theory to rest, “If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.” So, no more wondering why he hasn’t texted back or why you have to chase him. If he’s interested, you’ll know it because he’ll make the effort. No excuses, just actions.
Cheating Is A Hard No
Bradley Cooper’s character, Ben, cheats on his wife, Janine (Jennifer Connelly), with Anna (Scarlett Johansson). It ends in a total disaster. Ben loses both women, and Anna realizes she was never more than a side piece. So, here’s the deal: If he cheats, it’s over. Don’t be that person who thinks they can change someone who’s willing to betray their partner. If he’s done it once, he’ll likely do it again, and it won’t end well.
Don’t Wait Around For Him To Leave His Wife (Or Partner)
Take a note from Scarlett Johansson’s character, Anna. She thinks she’s going to be the one to get Ben to leave his wife, but in the end, it doesn’t work out for her. No matter how much you may want someone to be “the one,” if they’re in a relationship, please leave them alone. Stop waiting around for someone who can’t make a choice.
If He’s Not Proposing After Years, He Probably Doesn’t Want To
Beth (Jennifer Aniston) spends years with Neil (Ben Affleck) waiting for him to pop the question, but he never does. It takes her walking away for Neil to realize he wants to marry her. Beth’s story shows us that waiting years for a proposal can be exhausting. If someone hasn’t made that commitment after all that time, they might just not want the same things, and it’s time to think about your future. Although it worked out for them in the movie, its called a movie for a reason. Real life is different, and if someone can’t commit to you even after all these years, maybe they’re just not that into you…
Mixed Signals = A Clear Message
Remember how Gigi overanalyzed every single text from a guy? “I’m bad at texting” was just his way of saying, “I don’t feel like texting you.” Gigi’s friends told her to stop making excuses for people who aren’t putting in the effort, and they were right. If you’re constantly decoding his messages with your friends, it’s not a sign of romance, it’s a sign that he’s not that into you.
Don’t Settle For Being Second Choice
Ben’s affair with Anna was a messy situation. Janine had been with him for years, and Anna thought she could be the one who took his heart. But as we see, that didn’t work out for anyone. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re not the first choice, don’t stick around hoping it’ll change. Being someone’s second option is never going to feel good, and you deserve to be their first priority.
Listen To What They’re Telling You, Not Just What You Want To Hear
Alex kept telling Gigi that if a guy was really into her, he’d be making the effort to communicate. Yet, Gigi kept holding on to the idea that these guys were just “too busy.” Sometimes, you need to listen to the reality of the situation, not the fantasy you’re imagining. People show you who they are through their actions — if he’s not texting or reaching out, believe that he’s telling you something important.
Self-Love Is the Best Kind of Love
In the end, Gigi finally gets the guy — but only after she stops chasing men who aren’t into her and starts focusing on herself. The same goes for Beth, who realizes that she doesn’t need a wedding to feel validated. Sometimes the best relationship advice for couples or for yourself is to stop settling for people who don’t appreciate you. Focus on loving yourself first, and the right person will eventually come along.
Read More: 6 Pieces of Relationship Advice For Married Couples
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